Insanely in love with you

A hero to a ghoul

The day after

I went to train with arima in the morning again today, we are still working on fighting in the dark And today I was quicker.   I hit him a few times and he got a few hits in and near the end he brought his speed up. 

After that it was the usual day, me working on reports, making out with Rei in little rooms and me and Rei hanging out on the roof.

Right now I'm on my break which is half an hour.   

I walk over to anteiku, to tell Nishiki about this so that he can leave.  I don't want anyone to know I'm going.  So I tied my hair back and put a mask on.

When I walked in everyone seemed normal, however some of the usual customers weren't here and the ones that were looked at me with a worried and scared face.  Touka looked fine though. 

Me: hey touka do you know where Nishiki is.

Touka: yea he's here he's just in the bathroom.

Me: okay thanks.

I walk over to the bathroom and start knocking like crazy.

Me: come on hurry up I don't got a lotta time nish.

Nishiki: oí give me a sec I'm washing my hands.

After what feels like five years he opens the door.

Nishiki: what?

Me:  anteiku is going to be attacked by the CCG tomorrow night, get outa here seriously. 

Nishiki: we already know.

Me: huh how?

Nishiki: that doesn't matter.  But thanks. I guess.

Me: awwww yea no problem but thanks isn't enough.  get me a lemonadeeeee
                   I say while shaking him

Nishiki: fine fine you ungrateful bi-

Me: thanksss you meanie~

I sit down and wait for my lemonade and I drank it in a rush.

My visit was short but meaningful.

I go back to work.  I only needed to finish up the report and then I was free.  To be honest I don't even have to do much. 

I start working on the computer, and I don't see Rei anywhere.

I'll see him when I get home.

A few hours later at home

Rei: hey I didn't see you on your break.

Me: oh yes I was at a shop where they sell ice cream.

Rei: really?  Was it good?

Me: hmh

Something about his voice seems off.  Shit did he figure me out.  The thing is that he doesn't know that Nishiki is a ghoul, during the meeting they said that everyone that works there are ghouls.  Rei knows that Nishiki works there.

Rei: sooo have you seen Nishiki.

I try not to let my eyes widen.

Me: uh why do you ask?

Rei: I just didn't know you were related to a ghoul.

Me: yea me either.

Rei: oh really?

Me: uh what's up with you?

Rei: well you lied to me about where you were and you promised you would tell me.

Me: well I didn't lieee. I did go to that ice cream shop.

Rei: but not during your break.

Me: correction not during my first break.

Rei: I followed you. You think wearing a mask and tying your hair up was going to make me not recognize you?

Me: why the hell were you following me?

Rei: because you were wearing a fucking mask and you hate masks!

Me: yea well why don't you ask me about it instead of following me!?

Rei: because you would just lie like you always fucking do y/n I'm fucking tired of your lies and empty promises!

Me: I DIDNT fucking lie Rei and I never promised not to lie. This is the exact same fucking reason why I didn't tell you. YOU GET JEALOUS OVER EVERY FUCKING THING.

Rei: WELL MAYBE THATS BECAUSE YOU'VE CHEATED ON ME LIKE FOUR TIMES.

Me: I WAS FUCKING DRUNK I DONT EVEN REMEMBER HALF OF THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT. DAMN IT I BARELY REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY!

Rei: WELL YOU WERENT DRUNK WITH AYATO.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS WORNG WITH YOU

Rei: I DIDNT FUCKING MEAN THAT

Me: NO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW I WAS RAPED.

Rei: I'm sorry for saying that but I'm not fucking sorry what I said before that. do you really love me? Because it sure seems like you fucking don't.

Me: reí how stupid are y-

Rei: you keep in fucking lying over and over and over again. I've known you since mama had you and you did it back then too THATS WHY IVE ALWAYS BEEN FOLLOWING YOU.

Me: WELL I DONT EVEN KNOW A LOT OF WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN.

Rei: YOU DONT GET THE POINT THOUGH! YOU KEEP ON DOING IT THATS THE FUCKING POINT. YOU EVEN TOLD NISHIKI OUR MISSION.

He throws something to the ground and it shatters irritating me more.

Me: DONT ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HID STUFF TO ME AND HE ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THE MISSION. jesus fucking Christ suzuya.

I throw a glass cup at the wall missing him by only a few inches, however I missed on purpose. I may be mad at him but i would never hurt him, atleast I'll try my damn hardest not to.

Rei: you tried to kill yourself and you never told me why.

Me: well why don't we talk about how you fucking disappear without a word.

Rei: shut up. That's none of your business.

Me: i never mentioned it because I want you to have your fucking space so let me have mine damn it.

Rei: I SHOWED YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TERRIFYING IT WAS THE FIRST TIME WE HAD SEX.

Me: YEA SUZUYA THAT WAS TERRIFYING FOR ME TOO, though I get why you were more scared. BUT I STILL ACCEPTED YOU.

Rei: you know what, you want your space and that's fine with me. We're over.

Damn that hurt. I know I'm wrong, but for some reason I can't stop the words from flowing out of my mouth.

Me: you know what that's the best idea you've had since I met you.

He walks away slamming the door.

Tears fill my eyes flowing down. I could have done something but now it's too late. It's over. And it's my fault. I hate that it's my fault because so could have done something. But the words wouldn't stop. I couldn't control myself.

My knees give in making me fall over. I'm crying. Not just because Rei and I are over but because I miss Jade. Her and her advice. She should be helping me so much right now. I miss her so much. Damn it. Her and slythery.

The thing that hurts most in this world is love.  Love is the worst form of torture.