Insanely in love with you

A sad day and a dreadful night

Tbh I recommend listening to as the world caves in for this chapter (original is my fav (reminds me of my dad who I don't love but still lol))

I was sitting by the window, listening to the sweet sound of music. Rain drops where falling, loud noises filled my head. Sounds of thunder roamed around. I was reading a book.

It happened to be a sad book. A book that I relate to.

My heart ached in the bitterness of this world. How can a world be so cruel.
How have I been so unfortunate to have lived a life like this.

A life filled with anger and sadness.

I fell in love,
But in the end what's that worth.

I need to set myself free.
I need to set him free, so that he doesn't have to bare that suffering I do.

He's overcome his past and yet I still live in a loop.

I know he will leave.

That's because once I have what I've wanted it is ripped away from me.

Every
Single
Time.

Maybe it's because of the fact that I'm not worthy of anything.

The time is now 4 pm. I stayed home from work.

The empty feeling in my stomach made it hard to pretend that I was a mere person. The human species are so gullible. They will believe anything you tell them. As long as you lock the sadness away, it won't show through your eyes.

Reí was at work.

I started writing him a letter for when I leave.

The letter

To my rei,

This life has been filled with sadness and rage. I have fallen in love with you however this will not last forever. You showed me things no one could ever. You showed me a side of the world that I thought didn't exist. It was the beauty, the peaceful place I wished to live.

This feeling did not last forever, now every time we are separated I feel empty and dead. I can't go on like this. I can't burden you with my suffering. I can't hold you back. Look how far you've come! You've managed to live a wonderful life without letting mama hold you back. No matter her awful words.

Im everything I feared I would become. I've lost almost everyone I loved. You are the only thing that's left. So before you leave, I will. If I lose you, I will no longer die in peace, but now I know that I died loved. By atleast one person in this fucked up world.

But I want you to know that this is not your fault. Perhaps the feeling of finally being loved has scared me enough to fear a life without you more than death. You have made me so very happy. You made me feel human, atleast for a long while. You made me remember how to feel. Wether it was flustered, happy, sad or in love it was you. It's always been you and it will always be you. Until the day I die.

You're very strong, so goddamn strong. I know you'll be okay without me. Please find someone else to love. Fall in love again. Forget about me if that helps. I'll always be with you.

I love you. I love you so much.

Love Y/n