Eternal Longing ✓

29. Colonized Date

JAYA

"Does this top indicate that I'm only doing this to appease my mother?" I point to my black long-sleeve turtle neck top and turn to Hannah.

She stops her sewing machine and regards me with a tilted head. "Um . . . sure?"

"Girl," I huff and look back at the full-length mirror by my tiny closet. "What does that mean exactly?"

"Well, you're covering everything, which is good. Very polite and tasteful."

I nod in agreement and turn around once more. "Exactly, so it shows that I'm not interested in nothing but one meaningless date, right?"

"You're covering everything," she starts once again and I give her a hard look, "but the top is rather tight, Jaya dear. Not much left to the imagination."

I regard myself once more. Sure, the top is rather plastered against my chest given that it's probably now a few sizes too small, but it's not that bad.

It's very breathable and pairs perfectly with this silk white midi skirt that fits and accentuates my curves, giving just enough to be appealing but not too much to be scandalous.

"And the skirt does wonders for your ass, really. I love it. But, it will probably attract Alex's attention."

I groan and sit on my desk chair, checking the time on my phone. 1:30 pm. Alex will be picking me up in ten more minutes so I definitely don't have the time to change for the fourth time.

"This will have to do." I nod decisively and stand up once more to fasten on a bracelet and. several necklaces. "Plus, I'm getting the impression that Alex isn't too into this date either. He's been chill and nice on the phone but sort of distant."

"That's good then." Hannah pats her head furiously to scratch an itch, making a face I can't help but laugh at. "Because if he were interested, we'd have blood in our hands."

The smile falls off my face and I resist the urge to wince. I've been doing a pretty fine job of not thinking about Finley for the past few hours, which has admittedly been a struggle given that I woke up in his bed, but I've been trying nonetheless.

Since my mom's text Friday urging me to contact Alex, which was a direct order in her book, I've been trying to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with going to get coffee with a guy my age.

Finley and I are not dating, and despite my sleepovers, meal-eating at his house, and agreeing to sex, I don't owe him anything. It's not as if I'll be sleeping with Alex or anything besides grabbing a coffee, so Finley doesn't have to know.

Hannah did not look too convinced when I explained my rationale and neither did Amara, Sera, nor Ro, who spammed the group chat and called me one hundred times yesterday after I impulsively texted them about my just sex deal with Finley.

But their opinions don't really matter. Alex and I will go on our chill date, talk for an hour or so, take a picture for evidence we can send to our overbearing mothers, then be on our merry way.

To our mothers, we'll probably just say we weren't compatible and simply didn't click, and they'd have to understand.

My phone vibrates with a text from Alex letting me know he's downstairs, so I shake off my thoughts and fix my clothes while looking in the mirror. My braids are down and held back with a thin black scarf, my edges laid to perfection.

After quickly reapplying some lip gloss and observing my no-makeup makeup look for any smudges, I'm greeting Hannah and flying out of our room with a tiny bag, phone, credit card, and keys in tow.