Eternal Longing ✓

44. Unknowingly Bound

FINLEY

"You know, I've never seen you without a shirt on."

I punch the bag with more force at the sound of her voice. Sweet, melodic, and so damn her that I swear it gives me chills even now as I sweat profusely.

The sound of her stepping closer causes me to punch the bag one more time, but the blow is not quite as hard as the last one. I try again, hitting the bag with as much force but her voice rings out once more, making my punch fall flat.

"Why haven't I ever seen you without a shirt on?" I can hear it in her tone-she's determined to know. She's not going to let this go easily.

I'm turned away from her, still facing the punching bag, my arms now lying idly by my sides as I try to catch my breath. Nervousness eludes me often, and I am rarely anxious, but the pace of my heart as I feel her drawing nearer to me is a clear sign of my distress.

"Why won't you let me see you, Finley? What are you hiding that you can't show me-"

"Renner is a piece of shit," I interrupt her darkly, obviously trying to distract her from her line of questioning.

"Same thing could be said about you," she retorts and I have nothing to say because she's correct.

She walks around me so she's standing by the punching bag that I'm facing, but I don't dare let my eyes stray to her because I'm not sure what I'd do. I doubt she'd be fine with me fucking her on the gym floor. At least, not while my family and guests are in the dining room.

Allowing me to catch my breath with patience that somehow still feels lethal, she takes her time before asking me, "So what the hell was that back there?"

I clench my fists but don't say anything simply because I'm not sure what to say. I'm not proud of my actions, not proud of the way I reacted to my cousin's words, but I also don't regret shutting him up.

Jaya's mine, damn it. And though I'm sure he knows he can't take her away from me nor do I think he has any delusions that they have a chance, the fact that he would even try and wedge a wall between her and me is enough to piss me off.

"As I said, Renner's a piece of shit." I move past her to grab a towel from a neatly stacked rack, cleaning the sweat off my face. "He had that punch coming and he knew it."

She's quiet for a while as I wipe my face and control the urge to turn around and hold her close to me.

"I don't think I fully understand you," she murmurs contemplatively, sounding frustrated with the fact. "And you don't make things easy for me."

Finally, I turn around and settle my eyes on her. Instantly, I regret my decision. Jaya's beautiful in a way that has always caught me off guard, radiating the type of warmth and light that manages to seep through my wall of indifference.

"You don't fully understand me?" My voice sounds gruff even to my ears, but I'm not even sure she catches the deadliness in my tone.

"There are things you're not telling me. Things that you're hiding from me," she mumbles, her eyes hard on my face, completely ignoring my question. "And honestly? I don't think it's fair."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Again, I'm ignored. "It's not fair because you know so much more about me than I do about you." Her face twists with a mix of embarrassment and frustration. "I've been . . . vulnerable with you more than I've ever been with anyone else. I've trusted you, Fin."

"Jaya." My tone sounds like a warning, and in a way, it is because I don't fucking like the way she's sounding. Like this is a breakup or something.

I almost snort to myself. As if I'd actually let her out of my clutches.

She shakes her head. "I've legitimately laid myself bare to you, Fin. I've told you things that my closest friends don't know. Yet you won't tell me shit about you. Well, screw that. I'm done with that."

She's done with that? I clench my fists and glare at her, my fury rising with each breath I take.

I will myself to calm down, to remain silent and level-headed as she gets whatever it is that is on her chest out in the open. I don't dare move a muscle, not even an inch because if I do, I fear I'll give in to the urge to choke her until she swears she'll never even think of being done.

She stares at me with what looks like a reluctant plea, as if she's waiting on me to say something but is already resigned to the fact that I won't ever willingly open my mouth and tell her that there are ugly scars that I don't want her to ever see.

Laughing humorlessly and shaking her head, she says, "Whatever. I don't know why I even expected something. It's not even worth it at this point."

"Don't." Even getting that one word out turns out to be quite difficult, my voice sounds hoarse and, embarrassingly enough, choked up as I tell her, "Don't give up on me now, Jaya. Please."

"Fin . . . I just don't know if this will work. Not with you being so guarded."

A feeling unlike any I've ever felt grips my chest, and I find it impossible to stay away from her anymore, so I let myself drift closer to her.

"Sweetheart." I slide my hand along the back of her neck, trying to keep the familiar heartburn away at the sight of her gazing up at me so earnestly. "Just . . ." I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes, speaking the words with difficulty, "Just give me some time, okay? Just a little more time. That's all I need. Please."

"Fin-"

"No." I squeeze the back of her neck and bite her lip. "No. You don't get to quit this, Jaya. Not now and not ever. So whatever ideas you have about leaving me? Get them the fuck out of your head."

She's quiet as I kiss her languidly in an attempt to show her why she's mine, why she was made for me, and why no one else would be able to kiss her the way she needs to be kissed.

Sometime soon I'll have to show her all my cards. I'll have to lay them on the table and watch her gaze at the ugly, brutal reality. But before then, I need to make sure everything is aligned the way I want it to be. All foreseeable problems must be considered and sniffed.

Which is why I've taken care of some important things. As Jacob recommended, I've made her undeniably mine in a way that could never be denied. I've finally made her mine in all possible ways.

So very soon, she'll find out that she's now legally bound to me.

But for now, I'll enjoy holding on to her because when it will be all said and done, when she's pissed and hurt by my actions, I doubt she'll let me kiss her. Especially when she realizes that she's well and truly trapped and there's nowhere she can escape to.

______

A/N: I honestly can't believe this story has already over 100k reads given how it's been out only a few months and how inconsistent I've been with the updates. So thank you so much, guys! I currently don't have any drafts, but I do have ideas written down of what needs to happen next. As we're nearing the end, the next few chapters will be the calm before the inevitable storm. Watch out for a part or two coming next week. ;)