A/N WARNING *** IF EASILY OFFENDED: DO NOT READ! And these are TOTALLY NOT MEANT TOWARDS YOU! USE THESE ON OTHER PEOPLE :3 Thank ya'll:)
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1. Were you born on a highway? Because that is where most accidents happen.
2. No, no I'm listening, it just takes me a while to process stupidity.
3. I love your outfit! Did it come with a pole?
4. If you were twice as smart you'd still be stupid.
5. Classic:
Person: You suck.
You: You swallow
Person: You gag
You: You wish
6. The only thing positive about you is your HIV status.
7. Why don't you look on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
8. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
9. I loved what you did with your hair, but how did you get it out of your nostrils like that?
10. Your parents hated you so much that your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
11. You're like Monday. Nobody likes you.
12. You're so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks.
13. Mirrors don't talk. Luckily for you, they don't laugh either.
14. How many times were you dropped on the head as a baby?
15. Don't hate me because i'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
16. You're proof that God has a sense of humour.
17. I'm not saying I hate you. I'm saying if you got hit by a bus, i'd be driving that bus.
18. Unless your name is Google, quit acting like you know everything.
19. Keep rolling your eyes. You might find a brain back there.
20. Who pissed in your Cheerios?
21. If your gonna be two-faced, might as well make one of them pretty.
22. You put the 'hor' in 'horrible'
23. 'Fail!"
'No one asked for your life story.'
24. Let's play a game of 'F off.' You go first.
25. I'd ask you on a date, but I don't like taking the trash out.
26. Maybe if you ate some make up you'd be pretty on the inside too.
27. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
28. You remind me of my Asian friend, Ug Lee.
29. I'd ask how old are you, but I know you can't count that high.
30. If I wanted to kill my self I'd climb on top of your ego and jump down to your IQ.
YOU ARE READING
Random Humor in my Weird Life
RandomThese are all true thoughts that I have said and I have seen happen. Everything from being scared if a baby zombie midget is going to jump through my window late at night to kill me to thinking beef jerky is raisin meat. It's true though, right? Rig...
