1) If I wanted to listen to an ***hole, i'd fart.
2) Where's your off button?
3) You should've used a glue stick instead of chapstick
4) I don't hate you, i'm just not excited about your existence
5) If you're waiting for me to care, pack a lunch because it's gonna take a while
6) You should come with a warning label.
7) "I'm bringing sexy back."
"You're the reason sexy left."
8) Have a nice day, somewhere else.
9) Do you ever get off Facebook to live the life you're bragging about?
10) Wow, I bet you even fart glitter.
11) Too bad you can't Photoshop your ugly personality.
12) Sorry, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants him and that's why he's with you.
13) I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it
14) "You smell like my butt"
"How do you know how your butt smells like?"
15) Some babies were clearly dropped on the head as a baby, but then there's you. You clearly got dropped on your head several times then thrown against a wall and fell out the window.
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Random Humor in my Weird Life
De TodoThese are all true thoughts that I have said and I have seen happen. Everything from being scared if a baby zombie midget is going to jump through my window late at night to kill me to thinking beef jerky is raisin meat. It's true though, right? Rig...
