Secrets, Struggles, & Soulmates - Scarian

Chapter 12

TW: Panic Attack

{Grian's POV}

Scar had fallen asleep while we were looking at the majestic dark sky so I gently laid him down on the leaves. It made for a very comfortable bed and I wasn't surprised, I knew exactly where I was going. This was kind of my secret spot since it was so far away from home and no one knew how to get here. If I ever needed a break from reality this is where I'd go. Flying just seemed to solve all my problems and being up here amongst all the giant trees was so liberating.

I looked beside me at Scar who was sleeping soundly. It made my heart spin in circles and my stomach flip upside down. I loved him so much, it was almost saddening. I laid down next to him and cuddled up onto him. My head rested over his heart, one of my arms traveled across his chest while the other gripped his shoulder, and one of my legs was spread across both of his. I would say that a little over half of my body was laying on his and I fell asleep to the gentle sound of his steady heartbeat.

When I woke up Scar was still sleeping and I realized our positions had changed a little bit. I was now fully on top of him and almost straddling him. My leg that had previously been over both of his was now in the middle and one of his legs folded over it. My other leg was still in the same place, just slightly shifted. Both of my arms were around his neck and his arms hugged me tightly at my waist. My head was in the crook of his neck and I was so scared of waking him up if I lifted it any more than I already had. But I guess it was too late for that since I felt one of his hands accidentally hit me as he tried to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

I lifted myself up slightly with my hands and his gorgeous green eyes met mine. We both smiled until my arms went through the leaves and my face accidentally collided with his. I was so embarrassed that I panicked and tried to roll away, but I forgot that our legs were intertwined and that just made him roll on top of me. We both started laughing at how idiotic we must've looked just then before getting back to seriousness. We sat back up and Scar looked around him.

"Which way is home?" He asked as he nervously looked back at me. I looked up at the sky and realized the sun was directly on top of us so I had lost all my sense of direction. "I don't really know, I would usually wake up pretty early and base myself off of the position of the sun in the sky, but we seem to have missed that." His eyes held more confusion than when he had asked the question. "Usually? You've been here before?" His expression held a slight feeling of betrayal and that's when I realized what I said wrong. "Well.. yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His brows furrowed and even his confusion seemed to be confused. "I didn't really think about it." I felt bad since that wasn't exactly the truth, I had thought about it but decided against it since I didn't want to answer any questions about when or why I came here. "So you lied to me?" His voice was sad, defeated almost. "Not exa-"

"I asked you how you knew we didn't have much left in the plains biome, you said you didn't know. You said you wanted to see what was beyond the plains, yet you already knew. You lied to me, Grian." My heart immediately sank. I felt an unbelievable amount of guilt and sorrow. "Well.... I.. I guess I did..." I mumbled quietly as I looked down at the leaves under us. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. I didn't need to look at his face to know just how horrible he was feeling. My eyes lifted back to watch him when I heard leaves rustling.

"Well since I assume we need to wait until the sun falls a little more I'm going to go adventure the forest. I'll leave rockets to mark my path but please don't follow me, I'll come back when I'm ready." And with that, Scar was making a path through the leaves and lowering himself from the tree. There were tears streaming down his face ever so gently. I felt my eyes begin to water as well. What hurt the most was that he wasn't mad. I didn't even feel a touch of anger from him, just sadness, betrayal, and defeat. I couldn't blame him for feeling that way even if I didn't lie about a major thing. It was still a lie, and it was the first time I'd ever lied to him. Oh how I wish I hadn't.