...for the Sanos

chapter 32

How long has it been? 3 days? 5days? Well basically, can't count at all. The feeling is still numb, nothing to understand at all. Wonder if its all good at school. It should be atsushi's birthday few days back, but can't celebrate it when its this far and not even able to go to school to meet friends. The food looks tasty, shinichiro cooked nice onigiris. Eating is not a problem, but making the body accept the food is. What if there is poison in it? Hah, doesnt matter, takemichi life is pretty seeming sick at the last stage already.

His eyes fixed on the plate infront of him. Takemichi is still debating whether to eat the food. Trust, it's completely destroyed. Takemichi can trust no one anymore in this household. Everyone just treats him like some toy as if was made to be broken and fixed and loved and hated as and when they wanted. Mikey was hard the first three days, but later on the man only kept an exception to the kitchen. And takemichi is not allowed to go elsewhere.

It feels defeated staying in here. It's like even just for some fresh air, kitchen could be his only garden to relax. It's suffocating back into the room. The more takemichi stays there, his stomach coils and he would end up throwing up in its corners. His feet reject the idea of standing firm on those tiles he himself weren't allowed to be firm on when he was being done like some masturbation tool. His wounds are healing, surprisingly the wounds are healing pretty fast.

Takemichi stuffs the onigiri into his mouth savouring its deliciousness of the food. It is so delicious that he at the moment doesn't even care whether he will be dying from devouring the poison in this delicousness of the onigiri he is eating right now. But that pleasant second did not last as long. A familiar and disgusted feeling, Something curled up into the boys body and the next moment takemichi found himself coughing in the kitchen basin, throwing up whatever he had been eating. He can't stop, his body is still continuing to throw out like literally everything from his stomach. Takemichi eyes start to fill up as he started rethinking his position right now.

He is in a position of losing hope, being discouraged by his own thoughts saying whatever he would do will result in a waste. He is fragile, he knows it, that is why all this while, he has tried protecting himself the best he can. And where has he even come to. He couldn't achieve his dreams, all the hardships seemed never ending, that is why...ne had to give up on all his desires, all his dreams. He then wanted to live his life normaly, wanted nothing but a life where he can create a small happy and satisfied future for himself. He dreamed of building a wonderful family and he knew thoroughly whom he wanted to spend his life with. Hinata...tachibana hinata, he loved that girl and he....he still does.

Everything was so normal until one day, just the started of his new semester like completely took his life to a topsy turvey ride. Everything was stolen from him, his parents, his dignity and his soul. And now, even his life is being sucked by some energy. Takemichi cries louder cursing his own life, hitting the edge of the cabinate as if he was punishing up his own regrets. It took him a while to calm down when he started running back to the room directly ignoring the worried glances shinichiro sent him standing at the door, trying to stop the man. But no, takemichi still has atleast his little bit of self esteem left that he did not want pity. And specially since now as he has planned to trust no one, he doesn't even want to show his weak moments. He might break down infront of them again, but when he has not, it's better to cry alone and figure out what to do next.

Takemichi closed the door of the room and let his body collide with the soft mattress, letting out more of his tears till his pillow and the sheets get soaked up.

It took him hours to get up and take a stroll to his limited area, with a little hope, his dumb self did ask shinichiro or izana to help him escape several times as a manner of showing that he trusts them atleast a little bit before he would completely fall. But no, luck was never in his side and doesn't seem that it would be. Because the ignorance he faced from the concerned man regarding his pitiful request, it was hard to digest even the little lump that made it difficult for him to swallow.