Bounded World

chapter 38

There are moments in life when you feel like everything you wanted was right there infront of your eyes and then when you just blinked it all disappear and your realised that it was just a projection an illusion of something you wanted in your life or maybe it was the fact that you were trying to deceive yourself that you wanted those things. For kalila this was the moment after the blink, the way the whole room shouted shock and hurt, the way she saw afif's eyes burn when she was crying and shaking violently but after a while of letting all her emotions out she felt numb like she wasn't ready to reach this point, she didn't wanted to see how people would react to her and loki's relationship after knowing the truth, she didn't wanted pity, sympathy understanding or anything from people. "Kali..we..I.." Yara trailed off as she couldn't form a sentence to describe the way she felt about this, kalila just smiled at her shaking her head. "You don't have to say anything it's all in the past..I have left that all behind a long time back." She comforted her sister who was already in tears, Yara basically through herself towards kalila and hugged her tight while she sobbed at her words. "Shh it's okay." Kalila tried to shush her as she rubbed her back and felt her voice Crack as her face warmed up. A sudden laugh from afif made both of them pull away and look at him in utter shock, there was something menacing about his laugh and it made kalila feel a shiver run down her spine. "Afif.." kalila started but stopped when he turned to her, his eyes held so much anger, regret, pain, helplessness and determination it made kalila's heart tumble down,  she had seen him lose his temper but her younger brother never looked this scary. "Your sure it's okay?, what makes you think that it's okay to live with a damn RAPIST ?!, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO HEAR THAT MY SISTER WENT THROUGH THE WORST THING THAT I WOULD NEVER EVEN IMAGINE FOR SOMEONE I HATE FROM THE BOTTOMS OF MY HEART AND SHE WAS ALONE, I WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT YOU FROM ALL THIS HELL YOU HAD BEEN LIVING IN..DO YOU EVEN REALISE THAT IT HURTS US MORE TO HEAR THAT YOU HAD TO LIVE WITH THAT MONSTER ?, TO THINK OF THE PAIN YOU WENT THROUGH?!, I HAD ONE JOB AND I FAILED SO BAD THAT IT MAKES ME THINK IF MY EXISTENCE EVEN MATTERS NOW."  Afif's words and how he shouted made both kalila and Yara flinch as they looked at afif with wide eyes and shock morphed into their expression, "I am sorry appi, I.." afif trailed off his voice softening and being replaced by hiccups as he looked down ashamed, kalila was quick to move towards him and hug assuring him that it was not his mistake, not even the slightest bit, how could afif have saved her from someone like loki. "Remember daddy you used to warn us about such stuffs well his words turn out to be true." Kalila tried to joke as she chuckled and felt afif nod his head, after a while they sobered up a bit and that's when kalila's phone. "Yeah?..nah I am totally fine.. okay Don't worry about me..they were already insisting me to have dinner with me..okay you take care of yourself." Kalila hanged up with that while she saw afif give her looks which were already read able, "I can't okay...I can't just leave him now." She declared as she got up from the floor and walked to the kitchen, "and why can't you?" Afif shoot back making her Glare at him, "are you for real afif ?, you are old enough to understand that this world works over power not by just, he has power, he is dangerous Don't you think i would have left had I ever had a choice?" She questioned as her voice raised and her fist clenched tight making her knuckles turn white, afif was too shocked to speak back. "Kali come down..see I understand that you were helpless but you were alone darling now you have us here..let's figure something out okay..let's think of something." Yara suggested as walked to kalila cautiously and rubbed her back while she saw her take in shaky breathes. "We can't he is..he is..too powerful..you guys shouldn't do anything..I don't want any of you to be harmed because of me." She answered helpless here body going numb over the desperation, she fell to her knees as she let out small sobs. "Hey shh shhh please don't think that way I am sure we can find a way out." Yara assured her to which kalila shook her head with her body shaking with each hiccups. "Don't..don't give me hope, I buried them back in the past, this was what was written for me I can't escape it and why should I even try, I know him, I stayed with him, I have seen to what extent he can go to get what he wants, I don't really think of getting away from him, cause no matter what happened I have accepted him.." she mumbled her voice disappeared as they got replaced by her wails as Yara hugged her tight soothing her, "are you out of your mind?!, you accepted him, that's bullshit.. i know this isn't what you want just say that you don't want this and leave the rest to us we will think of something just say that you want out of this." Afif begged as he sat infront of his sister holding her hands in his as he himself sobbed seeing her state, kalila just shook her head looking at them, "please don't..I don't want any harm to come on you guys." She bargained but they were not ready to let this topic go, "just say the word appi, just say it, do you think I could go back to living my life after knowing what you are going through?" He questioned her which made her close her eyes as she tried to control her tears, her lips quivering as she tried to even say a word. "I want to leave but there part of him that are holding me back, I want to leave there are things we did together, things we experienced together, things we thought of together, there are so many parts of him in me and I think I..I hate him for what all he did to me but even after he did what I would hate someone for i can't seem to hate him." Kalila confessed making both of their eyes widen, as much as it hurt her to admit what she just admitted she couldn't help the feeling that was building inside her. "No no no no no no appi no no you ..you said you won't  be like everyone else ..you said you will bring a change is this how you are gonna bring a change?, you think you would be any different from all those women's you tried to defend?, you used to say that you would never stay in a toxic relationship then why why are you doing this to yourself?" He questioned as he lightly shook her while she felt like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. "I..like..him..and I never realized that I was falling for him until now..I want to scream at myself for doing this thing to myself but there's a part within me which tried to defend him..I don't know what to do..please make this feeling go away I don't like it." Kalila's words were extremely pleading as she sobbed looking between both of them she saw how there head hanged low making her cry even louder. "Kali remember you once told me a story where a girl had to leave her toxic partner, you told me how she wanted to justify his mistakes and give him yet another chance but you yourself said that if she did it would have been the same old life not a story worth cherishing..that's what you need to do Kali, you need to leave him,  I know it's gonna hurt..I am not asking you to stop feeling for him, I am just asking you to lock those happy memories with you and get away from the man who destroyed you." Yara tried to talk some sense into her sister who just cried shaking her head like a little persistent kid, "but ..but..what if ..what if this doesn't work out and we end up getting caught ..I don't want you guys to be harmed." Kalila confessed as she hiccups after every breath making it hard for them to keep there calm, Yara just smiled at her patting her head. "Don't worry love we are gonna be alright all we need to do is get out of grip." Yara assured her to which kalila just disagreed again, "you guys don't understand he has connection we will be caught even before we manage to escape." Kalila tried to reason out but was silenced by afif who gave her and assuring look. "We will think of something appi." He assured her giving her a side hug while Yara nodded in agreement, "but how?" He questioned her voice raspy, "you said you know him well, then just help us see through any flaws in our plan and then we will manage and escape okay?" Afif questioned and kalila nodded quickly, "and about other things we can think of those once we have made the escape successfully." Yara stated to which kalila just blinked her eyes, "when?" She asked as the room fell silent at her words, "tonight?" Afif questioned making kalila get into a panick mood, "no please give me a chance to see him once." She pleaded making both of them sigh, "are you sure you wanna.." Yara trailed of when she saw kalila nod, "just once more." She whispered as she wiped her tears.

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Walking inside the mansion, kalila walked silently to there room. Her mind was occupied by all the things that happened in this meanwhile, they made a plan to go shopping tomorrow and then change clothes there so the guards won't recognize them and then create a false alarm and escape. They had thought it through but she wae still scared, why wouldn't she be ?,  she knew how loki was, once mistake and she will be responsible for innocent lifes lost. "You are late brown sugar." Kalila felt loki mumbled as he hugged her from behind placing his hands on her waist and his chin on her shoulder, kalila melted a little under his touch. "Did you missed me?" She questioned as she placed her hand on his cheek and turned her head to look at him, he smiled back pecking her lips. "If I start stating how much I missed you, you are gonna get scared of me." Loki confessed as he placed a kiss on her neck making her chuckle, "did something happened ?, why are your eyes puffy?" Loki's voice was laced with worry as he turned her around to face him, cupping her cheeks in his hand. He examined her face while she just observed him with a smile, "what happened brownie? Did you cry?" He questioned her worried, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion while she just smield at him. "I just ..we were talking about family and stuffs and I just got a little too emotional at the mention of my father so you know ya family happened." She trailed of with a slight shrug of her shoulder making loki sigh, "you scare me brown sugar, I can't even imagine to see you cry." He whispered kissing her nose making her smile, "hey loki would you do me a favor?" She questioned out of the blue while he just nodded his head slowly, loki could feel something off about her but didn't questioned. He was scared what if he pushes him away ?, "dance with me." She mumbled as she stepped closer to him and placed her hand on his chest smiling up at him. "Why so suddenly ? I mean darling I understand you want to but I mean like right now, we could do it later.." he trailed off rubbing his neck and looking away, he felt one of her hands cupping his cheeks softly as she turned tip toed and he also leaned in. "Please just once more." Kalila's words caught him off guard, he thought she was upset about missing her parents so he just agreed with a smile. "Even if you ask me to bring you a dragon for you I would say yes." He stated as he leaned in placing his lips softly over hers.