Bounded World

chapter 45

Maybe that's worse, not letting ourselves be loved. Because we are too afraid of giving ourselves to someone we might lose.

- Mitch albom

When noises become a bit more soundless that's when they are the most loudest, it's not a surprise that silence speaks louder than voice, it always have but sometimes silence isn't an answer that's understandable, words are necessary too, some feelings are better to be worded out before it's late, some matters are better solved before it's too late.

And that's exactly what Kalila was going to do, wait for Loki until he arrives and talk this out with him, part of her was angry, the betrayal made her angry, the Jealousy made her want to punch loki square in the face and ask him why would he do that, but it wasn't just anger at him, kalila was angry with herself. Angry that she let this happen, she could have talked to him, only if she wasn't so scared that she might lose she would have tried.

But not doing anything was far worse than letting things go, so she didn't wanted to step back anymore.

On the other hand, there was Loki totally unaware of the whole drama that had went down in his very house a few hours before he returned home, too tired to pay attention to anything other than walking to his bedroom and getting changed before heading to bed. Ofcourse he wasn't expecting to encounter a rather pissed looking kalila the moment he opened his bedroom's door, he didn't have enough time to nurse his shock at the uncanny encounter, a jump up in his heart rate at the feeling of holding an eye contact with her after so much time of running from them. Someone might think it was ironic that they both shared the same bedroom and never ran into each other or had to uphold a conversation ever since they argued.

And yet here they were not able to help their eyes to look away from each other not until Loki saw the way kalila's face twisted in the slightest from annoyance to hurt, a second her eyes flashed with almost betrayal and heartbreak, it wasn't hard for Loki to know why that look crossed her face, he was a mess and he knew she wasn't an idiot but he wishes she was, he wishes she didn't knew because he didn't know what to say if she knew.

"We need to talk." Every single word sounded like a blaring alarm in loki's head, and sketchy feeling igniting in his mind at the registration of those words, something within him told him this wasn't something he would like, so he did what he thought was best, he turned his back on her not able to meet her eyes as he gave his answer, "tomorrow I am tired right now." The monotonous sound of his voice was like a pricking needle that just pressed more into the wounds of kalila's heart, only if Loki was looking at her he would have seen the hurt.

"NO, we talk now." The seriousness and adamant behaviour of kalila only made Loki more and more sure why he shouldn't be having this conversation, he ignored the fact that he could hear kalila was walking closer to him, she was no longer sitting on the bed, she was now just a few steps away from him, he knew it, he could sense it, how could he not when the weight of her stare was making him want to collapse.

"I said I am tired." There was no understanding in loki's word, maybe it was his way of telling kalila off, to sound closed off and rude so that she would step away, but didn't he knew in all the time of knowing her that she was adamant and stubborn. "I don't care. We are going to talk and we are going to talk NOW." Loki sighed out in frustration at her words throwing his jacket down and marching away from kalila, he couldn't talk to her with her as if he wasn't affected by her presence if he stood so close to her.

"If I said Tomorrow...we are gonna talk..." "She is that good huh" Loki couldn't help but shut up the moment kalila said those words, the venom in her words, the underlying anger in it, the tiniest bit of hurt in it all too much for Loki to process but most importantly the meaning behind those words were enough to make his heart stop for a second, the thought of her knowing everything making his skin crawl, he couldn't move. He couldn't respond for a whole minute not until the urge to fight her on this issue became massive.