Melancholik

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(Prozatím nedokončený BM projekt)

Toxikomania

1. Alcohol

Trembling in so much pain
I'm so fucking lame
Shaking in the darkness
My life is just a mess

Walking drunk every night
I know I have to pay
I don't have any money
So I'll pay with fading health

Yet so young but feeling old
You can see the spreading mold
I'm hungry, I should feed, NO!
rather drown me in liquid poison

Even tho my liver hurts
So what?
Fill up my glass
Even tho my liver hurts
So what?
Pass me the fucking bottle

Bruises on my knees
From night, I don't remember
Wounds on my arms
Stitches won't fix them, bitch

Agonizing state of mind
Only liquor and drugs can fix
I hope that the next day
They make a deadly mix

2. Powder

Brain filled with filth
Fucking need another hit
Crushing up the shit
With my goddamn cards

Snorting up fat line
This moment is now mine
I love it as I fade
See things clear again

As time pass by
Need to do it more
'Cause things are coming down
I can't exist with my mind

Fuck, everything is gone
and my wallet empty
Now I have to face
The consequences

Mouth dry up
Brain fucked up
Depression is crawling
With anxiety shakin'

I know that in some time
I'll do it all over
Don't care my nose is bleeding
Just don't want to hate myself

3. Dysmorphia

It was innocent at first
Then it fucked me
I'm not a human anymore
An object of my hatred

Starving, I deserve it
Testing my willpower
Can't do it, I'm so weak
Please somebody help me

He gave me some pills
Ate them like candy
Skinnier and lighter
Mirror still screams, you're fat!

Starving many years
Still not a bombshell
My body is resigning
Want to kill myself

Nobody can love
Someone full of scars
Who killed themselves
By hating their body...
Hmm, what now?

4. Sexdoll

Just meat on display
Shell without personality
Something you can fuck
And then leave behind

You should only serve
Be emotionless and fake
Just a piece of cake
That everybody can take

What happens to u
Why should they even care
They only play their game
yeah, I know the pain

Hard times without love
Who knows if I'll find one
Better pray to God
That doesn't even exist

You are just walking sex doll
Not by choice
It makes so much sense
It's the only way to feel wanted

Since u were small child
They taught u, what men want
And now I know
I'll rather die alone

5. Invidia

They have something I want
To have it I'll pierce ur left lung
Even tho it's kinda late
Maybe everything is fake

In need of perfect family
Money and fucking fame
I want it all, they have
Society dictates

When I get it, I don't want it
It's not good anymore
My next target is your soul
Or no, I don't know

Fuck it, found a better plan
If I can't have it, I'll destroy it
I don't want the world,
to be a better place

Materialistic mindset
Which can't be changed
Why is it so important
If there is nothing
after your last breath

6. Obsessive

I put u on the pedestal
Fuck what others say
Hypnotize with a crystal
Takin' it another way

You are bloody perfect
See your illusion
Please hurt me
So I can feel loved

See our future
When I go to sleep
Reality, sadly
Is different from a dream

Got used by u
I'll slit my wrists
Can't take back
What I just did

"Oh, poor soul
Don't slash those wrists,
No more!
Fine, I'll be finally yours"

Manipulative bitch!
That's who I'am
You love me, you hate me
Never try to leave me!

7. Bodyhorror

Flashing pain, in your brain
The anger, rotting in my veins
Just in case, I will prepare a knife
My life's so funny, can't u fucking see?

Your heart is pure
but your mind is tormented
Recommended!
Prescription for the damned

Child like mind in adult's body
I know for me there was nobody
I guess you'll never understand
For myself now I need to stand

Why it hurts so much
I can't breathe
The tears run down
Panic is here

Cut the flesh!
Fuck, I'm feeling fresh
Taste of sharp blade
Is what I crave

Blood's everywhere
My clothes ruined up
"Was it really worth it?"
I know it was

My guilty mind...
Is eating me up
I'm a master of this game
I will hide it

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