Standing Still

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A few days later, London...

We land in London with the kids following close behind us, paparazzi crowding to take photos as security keep them away as best they can.

We're ushered into the car, the kids looking quite obviously scared as Scarlett mouths a sorry to them. They get it, they're great kids, but this just isn't how we wanted this to go. We hoped it'd be quiet and that the media wouldn't know we were back in the UK, but they definitely know.

The first stop is Trafalgar Square. No matter how jet lagged we are, that's the first stop. It'll be the first time we've been seen since what happened, happened.

The car pulls up after being allowed in by the cops, and parks up, allowing us to get out. Ollie hands the kids their handmade wreath, and we're given the one we bought too, 101 different flowers to symbolise the lives lost.

Cosmo takes my hand as I hold Scarlett's, Rose holding Scarlett's other hand and Jess completing the link. We walk across to the memorial, flowers and handwritten notes lie everywhere. I can feel Scarlett's hand tighten in mine, so I rub my thumb across the top of hers, she's scared, being back here.

We stand in front of the memorial as the kids lay theirs, and we lay ours together. All I can hear in the background is the snaps of cameras that have seemingly taken up the whole barrier where people were stood to pay their respects, so I release Scarlett and walk over.

Me: Guys, I appreciate you want your photos, but people are here to mourn and pay respects to the people that we've lost. Could you please stop pushing them, just wait for your photo, it's not hard.

They back off slightly with the help of our security, allowing me to go back to Scarlett and the kids. I wrap my arm around her shoulders as she cries, the kids gather around her to comfort her. I kiss the side of her head.

Me: Whenever you're ready to go over to the microphone, just say.
Scarlett: I'm ready.
Me: You ready to go, guys?
Rose: We're ready.

We start to walk back past the growing crowd, as Scarlett nudges me.

Scarlett: That girl is shouting for you.

I look over as she's waving for me to come over. I part from Scarlett and walk over, Rose following to keep me company. I reach the girl, who smiles.

Me: Hey, sorry I didn't hear you, I have a burst eardrum. How are you?
Girl: I'm okay, I'm the girl you helped last week.
Me: It's so good to see you here, what was your name?
Girl: Arabella.
Me: That's a beautiful name. How are you feeling?
Arabella: I have a broken ankle, but I'm okay. I lost my friends in the explosion.

I instantly pull her in for a hug and kiss her head.

Me: I'm so sorry.
Arabella: Thank you. Is your back okay?
Me: Yeah, my back is fine, just my ear I'm worried about, but we'll get there huh?

Her Mom puts her hand on my arm, crying.

Arabella's Mom: Thank you so much for helping my daughter, really. I thought I'd lost her.
Me: I think she helped me as much as I helped her. I'm glad she's safe, and hopefully your ankle heals soon.
Arabella: Thank you. And I hope you and your family are okay.
Me: We will be, we're very lucky to still be here. Thank you for coming.

People hold their phones up and take photos as we walk past, I cover Rose's face slightly as we get back to Scarlett, who kisses my cheek and holds my hand as I get up to the microphone. I clear my throat and pull out my speech.

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