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Hypno: i have one of your children

X: which one i have many

Hypno: the loud, annoying, rowdy kid who never shuts up

X: which one i have many

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Grian at 3AM: In a way we're ALL in a massive queue leading to a coffin

Stress: Nobody knows where they are in the queue. People joining the queue aren't always joining at the end.

Grian: It's like Schrodinger's queue, but you only know you're at the front when you're in the box.

Cub:

Cub: Are you two okay?

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Beef: I just punched a guy

Impulse: And?

Beef: He was being homophobic to me and the others

Impulse: You got a picture?

Beef: No, but I knocked out 2 teeth and put them in this small jar

Impulse: Great job, Beef. Never thought I'd be prouder of you.

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Joe, mentoring NPG: Okay, what's the first rule?

NPG: Rock-paper-scissors if you can't solve it.

Joe: Second rule?

NPG: If X tells you no, go to Ex.

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Cleo: Can we stay in your base tonight?

Ex: Why, what happened?

Ren: We played with a ouija board and cursed all of ours.

Pearl: And Grian isn't much help. He doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he's just throwing salt at them and yelling, "Does this look like a hotel to you?!"

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BadTimes: I was put on this earth to do one thing

BadTimes: Luckily, I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want

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False: "Be appropriate" on three. Quietly. One, two, three.

Hermits: Be appropriate.

Wels: Now, break it up. We look weird.

Hermits: Okay.

Mumbo: Don't move as a group. You're not gazelles.

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Scar, high on anaesthetic after surgery: If I was a doctor, I think that before patients went under, I would say "nurse pull up the wiki article" just to make them panic before their surgery

Nurse: Don't worry, it's normal for people to be a bit loopy for a bit after surgery

Tango: No, this is pretty on-brand with the usual stuff he says

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Hels: Might fuck around and let nature reclaim me.

Doc: Does this mean you're going feral or just lying in the dirt for a while?

Hels: Yeah.

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Jevin: This is a list of possible places NPG could've run off to this time

Keralis:

Keralis: This is a globe.

Jevin: Yeah, we have no fucking clue where it is

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Etho: *on the phone* Bdubs? I need your help! I-

Bdubs: is the server on fire?

Etho: ...no?

Bdubs: then it's not an emergency *hangs up*

Zed: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?

Etho: apparently, it's not an emergency

xB: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??

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Tfc (on the phone with Iskall): turn around

Tfc: no the other way

Tfc: again, the other way

Tfc: no not there, one more time!

Iskall: OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU?

Tfc: I'm not there yet, but the thought of you aimlessly turning around in circles amuses me

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Gem: People who are dating freak me out. They always seem to know what the other one is-

Biffa: Thinking?

Gem: Yeah. And they're always finishing each other's-

Biffa: Sentences?

Gem: Exactly. It's creepy.

True: What the fuck guys.

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Today's Question:

What's thing do you own that doesn't work right but you refuse to get rid of?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors

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