The Best Night of Our Lives (Solby)

Chapter 20

Colby's POV

As we drive through Los Angeles, all I can think about is the day everything changed forever. The attack isn't something Sam and I ever talk about because he knows how much it upsets me to relive it. I've gone months without even thinking about it, but last night, the memory along with the memories following after that, came flooding back to my mind. I don't know why, but I think it happened because I was already in a fragile state of mind due to feeling sad over the past few days.

I'd never cried like that before in my entire life. It was like seeing Sam reminded me that he's okay, which means that he's still here with me. I almost lost him twice, and after having all those memories come back to me, it felt like I was reliving that day in the hospital after he'd gotten attacked. And seeing him brought me to tears because all I want is for him to be safe with me.

Sam has been filming the road for the last ten minutes, but then he turns off the camera and looks at me lovingly. He takes my hand. "Are you okay?"

I smile at him and nod. "Yeah. I'm just exhausted."

"Maybe that's because we were up for more than half the night," Corey chimed in.

"Whatever, bro," I say, smiling.

"If we get a good night's sleep, we won't be tired," Jake says.

This makes me laugh, and Sam shakes his head. "Of course we won't be tired if we get a good night's sleep, genius," he says. I laugh again, keeping my eyes on the road. I think they can tell I've been feeling down lately. So they're trying to make me laugh, which usually works.

Sam knows how to make me smile and laugh more than anyone else does. Even when we were fighting, he always brought out the best in me. He got the worst of me, too. But he never left me.

The gray, cloudy sky reminds me of two moments when Sam and I managed to comfort each other, despite not being on good terms.

The first moment happened the day before I was going to leave to go to the mental hospital to get treatment for my mental illnesses and eating disorder.

When the guys had first told me I was going to be seeking treatment at a long term facility, I was so upset. I felt like they were sending me away because they didn't want to deal with me. When I'd tried to commit suicide a couple of weeks before, I was placed under a psychiatric hold after being medically cleared. The doctor evaluated me and determined that I was a danger to myself and needed to be transferred to an actual psychiatric hospital to undergo more tests to see what my mental state was like. Spring Haven Psychiatric Hospital reminded me of some of the abandoned insane asylums Sam and I used to explore together for the Sam and Colby channel. It was weird being an actual patient as opposed to being an explorer. But more than anything else, it was terrifying. I was so afraid of someone trying to hurt me because I'd heard plenty of horror stories about the abandoned hospitals we used to visit.

I was only there for four days until the guys came and picked me up after I got discharged. They all came inside to greet me, but all I remember is grabbing onto Sam and crying into his shirt. When we left, Jake drove the car while Sam, Corey, and I sat in the backseat and Aaron sat in the passenger seat. Elton didn't mind driving by himself. So he rode in a separate car from us. I held onto Sam for dear life, afraid he was going to leave me if I let go. I couldn't speak at first. I just cried as I kept my arms wrapped tightly around Sam. Corey held my hand at one point, and I held his, too.

When we got home, I went straight to my room, not wanting to talk to anyone. A couple weeks later, the guys told me I needed to go into treatment. So they found a long term facility called Desert Hills Psychiatric Hospital here in L.A. I was upset at first, but I knew I needed help. So I agreed to go there for three months. It took a month before a bed became available, and when it did, everyone decided I was going to leave within the next few days.