THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XI

After a comfortable 4-1 win over Louisville for our second and last pre-season friendly game in Malaga, to which I participated during 7 minutes 30, the whole team got on the bus back to Barcelona. We arrived early the next morning, and all went straight to bed to try and make up for the missing hours.

Sighing, I get up a few hours later to pick Pat up from the airport. Ana-Maria was nice enough to land me her car, so I was en route to seeing my husband - or at least the man who has been for a few years now. Let's just pray you will not regret your choice, I think to myself as I am waiting for him to show up at the arrivals.

As soon as I seem him, I feel anxiety taking over my body. His brown eyes are immediately set on me, as it feels like he seems both and simultaneously highly anxious yet happy to see me wait for him here. He hasn't changed a tad - which makes sense given it's only been six weeks since I left - and when he smiles, I remember why I fell in love with him in the first place.

That awkward moment of the greetings finally came along, and after just staring at each other for a while, Pat takes the final step and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a tight yet free hug.

"I missed you" Pat whispers in my ear.

There again, I feel my stomach ache, as I don't answer straight away. Instead, I pull away from his embrace, giving him a shy smile, before we get to the car and I start driving. Most of the ride to the apartment is just small talk about Pat's family, mine, and also my time at Barcelona and everything. Pat's wood factory is finally getting more recognition and customers, so he was quite happy with himself.

When we make it to the apartment, we meet Frido and Lucy in the kitchen, as they were drinking their coffee. Once the introductions were made between him and the Swede, he went on talking to Lucy about his work, while she would ask questions, highly interested (as she is interested in many things non-related to football). Then, when my two roommates went on to join Ana-Maria downtown for brunch, I found myself alone with Pat.

This is it: the moment I was so afraid of.

"So" he starts, staring right into my eyes, "what did I do?"

Frowning, I ask:

"What do you mean?"

"Sam, I've been in love with you since 7th grade. I know you by heart: there is something you have to tell me but you're too afraid to do so. It's okay, I am ready to hear it. So, what changed?"

Sighing, I just finally and honestly say:

"I don't know, honestly. I just... you know, don't feel it anymore."

Nodding his head, Pat just scratches the back of his neck and says, his voice breaking a little:

"I understand. Well, I guess I will shorten my stay here in Barcelona then..."

"I'm so sorry, Pat" I say, honest.

"Don't be - we don't control our feelings. I just hope you'll find happiness, Sam, 'cause you deserve it."

Emotional, I just nod and answer:

"You too, Pat."

"I'll send you the divorce papers by e-mail, then. Just, tell me one thing, yeah?"

"Sure."

"Did you meet someone else?"

His question was so harsh and direct that I just face palm for a second, staring at him as if he was a stranger.

Sighing, I just say:

"No."

"Okay. Then I guess I should go - I'll take a night flight to Paris today, and I still wanna get some insights of Barcelona. And, who knows, maybe I'll backpack through Europe. Thank you Sam, for everything - I mean it."

He then opens his arms, as I hug him tightly. Once he is gone, however, I burst into tears, sitting down on the ground, my face buried inside my hands.

I hope I did the right thing...

***

I joined Lucy, Frido and Ana-Maria halfway through their brunch, and as soon as they spotted me, they knew.

Quite immediately, Lucy got up and hugged me tightly, slowly caressing my back. My bet is that she and Kristie called each other to catch up on the current situation, and my sister told her that, if I didn't come to the brunch with Pat, then it meant she needed to be the supportive friend Kristie usually is for me. I let a few tears roll down my cheeks, feeling like I was in a washing machine (like Ona would say), starting to dissociate slightly.

Taking a deep breath, I then sit down with my teammates, who give me encouraging looks.

"Sammy" Frido says on a positive tone, "we were discussing the team's traditional preseason party just now. Have you ever been told about it?"

Shaking my head, I just say:

"No, what's that? You guys are allowed to party before the season even starts?"

Ana-Maria smirks.

"It's tradition here in Barça" she explains, joyful, "it's like a good luck ritual for the season to come. It usually takes place in a local bar that has been privatized, and then sometimes we end up in private clubs. The staff know, but they're not talking about it. It's kind of our secret, if you will. So, what do you say, you're in?"

"I could use a good distraction" I concede, cracking a smile.

"Oh, don't worry about that" Frido exclaims, amused, "you guys ain't ready for the amount of drinks that will flow through your bodies! It's gonna be freakin' chaos!"

Lucy and I exchange a look, before the Brit says:

"Jesus Christ."

"Even religion cannot help you, Bronzey" Ana-Maria mocks her, amused.

Just as those words left her mouth, my phone started ringing, and when I see my sister's face with the FaceTime notification, I just take a break from my three friends to actually cry over the phone with my big sister.

And Kristie's words were the deepest she ever told me:

"In each silent river there is the sound of a distant waterfall"

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