THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XXXVI

This morning, Alexia and I were asked in the head coach's office, while I would miss training to attend this reunion.

We were sitting down in front of Jonatan's empty chair, as we were 10 minutes early. Ever since the news broke out, Alexia's been silent. We were together last night, however very few words were spoken, and we fell asleep on each other's arms. Before falling asleep myself, I'd feel her whole body be taken over by small and subtle convulsions from time to time, testimony of the anxiety living through her body.

As for now, I was just holding my breath.

"If you want us to stop right there, right now, then it's okay" I whisper, urging her to look into my eyes as I continue: "I just need you to communicate right now."

Alexia sets her jaw.

"I am not sure we stand a choice, Mewis" she honestly says, frowning, "now everybody know about us. And by that I mean everybody expect us to be a couple."

"This is so messed up" I comment, knowing that we were in a dead end.

"It is, yes. This is exactly what I did not want to happen: our relationship based on public opinion and pressure."

"It doesn't have to be that way" I say, trying to make up my mind.

Alexia turns a little more toward me, before asking in a low voice:

"What do you mean?"

"I mean" I start, grabbing Alexia's hand - as she lets me - "whatever it is between us started more than six months ago, without all the medias and everything. And, hell, we even told each other the words. Public opinions will only shape us if we let it and just succumb to stress. We just need to put words on whatever it is that we want with the other."

The Spanish nods, thoughtful.

"To me it is crystal clear what I want" Alexia then says, staring right into my eyes.

"In case you wanna verbalize it so I don't spend the next few hours trying to understand what that means, just feel free, 'kay?"

Smirking, she squeezes my hand and says:

"I've never felt what I feel for you before, Mew. And in my head we're together - like, a couple, although I don't like this word very much. I don't want to sleep with, kiss or even look at anyone else than you. My thoughts are only set on you, and it's impossible for me not to succumb to all those emotions you created in me. So, I guess that what I am trying to say is... Just leave me some time to get used to my private life being exposed to the world, but leaving me time doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

My eyes go wide.

"Really?"

"Really."

Smirking, Alexia just leans in and, as she is on the verge of kissing my lips, she suddenly asks:

"What do you want, Mewis?"

"I thought it was obvious: I want to be with you as well."

A bright smile appears on Alexia's lips, as we both lean in and, right before out lips touch, the door opens, making both of us jump in the process. Our head coach, Jonatan, is staring at us, setting his jaw.

After an uncomfortable silence, he ends up asking:

"So, I guess the news is actually real: you two really are together. Or am I reading this wrong?"

Alexia sighs.

"You're not."

"Then we need to talk" he says, a serious face on.

***

"Hello?" I start, picking up the phone.

When I saw Vlatko's name on the screen, I started to panic.

"Hello, Samantha" the USWNT's head coach starts, visibly very serious, "I hope everything is well. I'm calling you regarding the upcoming training camp: it's been a tough decision, but we decided to leave you out of the squad."

"... Oh."

"You are a tremendous player, and this doesn't call that into question. But we need to give the younger generation a chance, think about the future. Do you understand that?"

"Of course I do."

"Furthermore" Vlatko continues, visibly troubled, "we got into contact with the Barça's physical trainer, and she communicated to us that you sustained a minor injury at training yesterday."

"It's not that big of a deal..."

"It is to us, Samantha. We cannot risk you, not if you're not willing to take care of yourself. I understand that you are under a lot of pressure at the moment, given... the pictures that were leaked to the press. Hence we decided to leave you some time to process."

"But I don't need time to process, I-"

"This is not up to discussion, Mewis" Vlatko declares, visibly irritated. "Mental and physical health of my players comes first, so you're out of the team for a while. Take advantage of that and get yourself some help."

I frown.

"Does it have to do with the media leak?" I courageously ask, raising my eyebrows.

There is a meaningful silence on the other hand of the phone, before the coach only responds:

"Take care of yourself, Samantha. I will see you soon. Bye."

With that said, he hung up the phone, putting an abrupt stop to our conversation.

Frustrated, I just throw the phone on my bed, nervously and angrily running my fingers through my hair. Exactly what I needed in order to make today even worse, I think to myself, willing to just fall asleep for days now.

At some point, someone knocks at my door - in such a specific way that I know it's Frido - as I groan something in response that meant either 'go away' or 'come in'. Frido understands it as the second option and opens my door, a cup of warm tea in her hands.

"Hey, roomie" she carefully greets me, before sitting on the side of my bed.

As silent tears have been running down my cheeks, I just make a sad face and say:

"I think I've reached a new low point in my career."

"Could you use a hug right now?"

"Yes."

Understanding, Frido puts the cup of tea down and crawls into my bed, as I just take shelter in her embrace, as she wraps her arms around me.

During this time, she kept on repeating:

"Everything happens for a reason - ends are only just new beginnings..."