THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XXVIII

The morning before the game against Spain, I was feeling very anxious.

Thank God Alexia isn't on the squad, otherwise I would've just died on the pitch, no questions asked, I think to myself while walking the streets of Sacramento, where the second part of our training camp was being held. I stopped by this cute Bubble Tea, before sitting down on a bank near the hotel.

After a few moments spent on my own, a breeze of fresh air brushed my face, and with it a familiar smell that would make me feel dizzy in a second. I freeze, before looking up: Abby is here, nervously playing with her hands. When she silently asks for permission to sit down next to me, I only nod my head.

Something was wrong: the air was tensed - something that has rarely happened in the time of our friendship. Abby's voice is shy and cracking when she says:

"Funny how I thought I'd find you here - you're always walking around on your own, ever since I've met you."

I softly laugh.

"Yeah, the first time we met was the day before tryouts, remember?" I ask, amused.

"Of course I remember: you bumped into me and then apologized for an hour, even buying me coffee. It was really funny, when you think about it."

I blush a little.

"Funny how time has passed" I comment, thoughtful.

Abby nods in agreement.

"We've changed so much, yet some things are still the same. (as I throw her an inquisitive look, she goes on clearing out:) Like, you're still the same awkward giraffe who spilled the entire bottle of vodka on my new clothes the first party of freshman year."

"Jeez, you don't forget anything" I comment, amused. As Abby cracks a smile, I add: "Was it worse than when you used me as an alibi with the coach when you wanted to purchase the Sims 4 before first thing in the morning on its release date ?"

"Oh, come on!" Abby exclaims, smirking, "it's such a good game!"

"Do you still play on this day...?"

Blushing a little, Abby ends up admitting:

"Yes I do..."

"It wouldn't be you if you didn't" I say, teasing her a little.

She softly laughs, before staring at me as we fall into a long silence.

"So, um" she carefully starts, visibly nervous, "I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now... and I guess I'm finally gathering the courage to do so."

Frowning, I feel my heart beat faster.

"You can tell me anything, Abs" I say in a soft and honest voice.

Abby turns a little bit more toward me, before finally saying:

"You know how you and I have always been friends since first day of college, right? (I nod my head, suspicious, as she takes a deep breath and says:) well, I guess that, at some point for the first few years, I actually felt something more for you than I felt for any of my other friends - boys or girls..."

My eyes go wide, as I stop breathing suddenly.

"W-what?" I stammer, confused.

Oh, no. This can't be real.

"I-I... it's just... I needed to tell you that, 'cause I've been hiding my feelings away for so long - even to myself - that it needed to get out. A-and I feel like there's been some untold tension between us since I moved to Barcelona so... I just wanted to tell you my side of things."

Shaking my head, I just stammer:

"B-but-"

"You don't have to say anything, Sarm" Abby says in a low voice, cracking a sad yet happy smile. As I am on the verge of talking again, she just grabs my forearm and continues: "Now I am with Aaron, and I really do love him. It's just - I wanted to be honest."

Nodding my head, I just respond:

"I think I loved you, too."

Abby's eyes became wet with tears, as she comments:

"So much for missing our chances, uh?"

"Maybe in another life" I state, in utter shock.

All these years, you could've just told you you loved her, and she could've said it back, I think to myself, not knowing what to feel at that very moment.

Abby nods, smirking.

"I hope it doesn't change anything to our current friendship, 'cause you're still my best friend, Sarm, through it all."

"And you'll always be mine, Abs."

As Abby relies her head on my shoulder, I wrap an arm around her shoulder, and we stay in that position for 30 minutes or so, just contemplating a love story that could have been, but that came way too late.

Little did I know that a pair of hazel eyes were staring at us from afar, while their owner's heart was being shattered in a million pieces - although words would never be put on those conflicted, deep, complicated feelings.

***

"Wow" Kristie lets out, truly surprised.

"What do you mean, 'wow'?" I ask, irritated.

We were back into our room after the team's pre-game walk that then lead to a nice dinner where I was able to talk with some of the newbies I had met before (or not), but never took the time to get to know them.

I just told Kristie about my conversation with Abby.

"I mean: first of all, you guys openly talked about your feelings like true grown-ups..." my sister starts, dramatizing every word.

"... because we're both 29..."

"... and, second of all, does this mean you're in love with that Spanish hottie aka the best player of the world aka-"

"Kratch, chill out - you're stressing me out!" I explode, anxious.

Kristie rolls her eyes, letting herself fall on her back.

"Jeez, Sam, everything's fine: all you have to do is go back to Barcelona and tell Putellas how you feel!"

"Easier said than done..." I mutter under my breath, bitter.

"You're so damn dramatic. Worst case scenario : she doesn't feel the same or isn't ready to commit herself into a serious relationship. But at least you could've expressed what you've been feeling for months, and not repeat the mistakes from the past like with Abby!"

Nodding my head, I just sigh, beaten:

"I know you're right - it's just scary."

"You're telling that to the serial lover that was scared to get real with someone - look at me now: I'm getting married in a month!" Kristie exclaims, smirking, "everything's possible."

I remain silent, thoughtful : I need to do something, or else I'll regret it..., I think to myself, feeling like the sky was falling over my head.

But I needed to focus on tonight's game against Spain.

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Get to know the players: Alexia Putellas