THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XXXVIII

"Please say you love me back."

My mind was blown, but still the obvious answer just came through my lips and tight throat, only saying:

"I can't. I'm sorry."

And I close the door, to both the love of my youth but also the possibility of an 'us' in the future: my mind was set, and so was my heart.

All I could think about was Alexia.

***

SPECIAL POV CHAPTER

ABBY

"It is with regret that the club has to inform you about Samantha's injury - long-awaited surgery and physical treatment will be put into place here in Barcelona as soon as she comes back from the United States next week. It is still unclear whether Samantha's contract will be extended for another six month given the situation, but we are doing everything we can to protect Samantha's best interests. Now, let's get to work!"

Jonatan claps his hands, and immediately the players go on to eat after the intense morning session we just had.

Ever since yesterday night, I hadn't been able to sleep, just running that moment in my head when I finally admitted my feelings for my best friend, only to be reminded that she was in love with somebody else. At the moment, all I wanted to do was to get the hell away from Barcelona and them - as in, Sam and Alexia - and just leave everything behind. I had been thinking about other options, such as an upcoming deal with San Diego FC and going back to California, but going back there also meant going back to Aaron's arms - aka my husband.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize somebody was walking the other way in the corridor leading to the changing rooms, and soon I collide with a brunette, who I immediately recognize as being Alexia Putellas.

"Lo siento" the Spanish says, before realizing it's me and adding: "Oh, Abby, hi."

"Hi" I just respond, knowing very well that her eyes were translating that she knew. Setting my jaw, I just decide to play it transparent and add: "you must think I am a monster."

Alexia shakes her head, a nostalgic smile on her lips.

"No, I don't."

Surprised, I just inquire:

"... but why tho?"

"Because I get it - Mewis is the one that got away for you, and it must feel like a tragedy to you. You were right to shoot your shot - who am I to tell you otherwise?"

Raising my eyebrows, I react:

"Well, it doesn't matter, 'cause she's head over heels with you."

Slightly smiling, Alexia just says, grabbing my shoulder:

"There's somebody out there for you, Dahlkemper. But just 'cause it isn't Mewis doesn't mean you have to stay in a unhappy marriage before you meet them."

I nod my head, before the captain walks away, throwing me an ultimate smile. Well, she was pretty calm about the whole thing, I think to myself, feeling like I wanted to throw up.

Setting my jaw, I just go to training.

***

Closing the door behind me with a bang, I just starts crying silently, throwing my cleats across the empty locker room.

When the door opens again, I just roll my eyes, put my hand on my hips and turn around, ready to ask for intimacy.

Until I see Keira.

"What's wrong?" the Brit asks, raising her eyebrow.

"I've been raked by my best friend when I told her I still have feelings for her" I blurt out, setting my jaw. While Keira raises her eyebrows, I just throw my arms in the air and continue: "Yes, yes, I know, that was stupid - she's dating a freakin' Ballon d'Or holder and wonder captain Putellas, and they seem happy. I just... I don't know."

Keira sighs, before sitting down in front of me.

"The heart wants what it wants, but once it's over, it's hard not to let go" she declares, thoughtful. As I nod, she continues, visibly impacted herself: "I should know: look at how insufferable I've been a few years back with Lucy and Kristie - yet I knew deep down that they were each other's true love, and that I had nothing to do in the picture anymore. It's hard to let go of the people you love, but sometimes it is for that same exact reason that you have to let them go."

Setting my jaw, I then sigh and say:

"It's my fault the news about Sarm and Alexia dating broke out in the press."

"What?" Keira asks, surprised, "what do you mean?"

"I mean that Aaron got mad when I asked for the divorce and leaked the intel to the Spanish press - then all they had to do was follow them around and wait for the perfect moment..." I explain, shameful.

"Abby, it's not your fault, it's Aaron's. You can't blame yourself for something you never would've done to them."

"Yes but he did it because of me."

"He did it 'cause he's an asshole."

That sentence just both made us stop talking and look at each other, before bursting into laughter, breaking the tension that was building up around me. I sit down in front of Keira, out of breath, while she tries to regain her seriousness.

After a while, she resumes:

"There, I said it: he's a fucking asshole that doesn't deserve the wonderful person that you are. And Sammy's nice and all but you also deserve someone who fully and truly loves you."

Smirking, I just say:

"Well, I don't think someone would one day feel that way about me."

Keira loses her smile.

"Maybe the person is closer than you think - you just didn't realize just yet." the Brit then says, confident.

"Meh."

"Do you want proof?"

"Proof? Yes, enlighten me."

Keira gets up, sits down next to me, and grabs the collar of my t-shirt, pulling me toward her. At first, when I feel her lips against mine, I just immediately push her away, staring right into her eyes with a frown and clouds inside my eyes.

Setting her jaw, Keira just says:

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

But, in response, I just close the gap between us, kissing her wildly. Surprised but visibly turned on, she grabs my waist and kisses me harder, our bodies getting closer than before.

After a while, we both lean away, while I put my fingers on my lips, in shock.

"Um... shit. I gotta go."

As I get up, grabbing my cleats from the floor, Keira gets up as well, exclaiming:

"I'm sorry, I misread the situation, I-"

"It's fine, really. Just... let's forget it ever happened, alright?"

"Um, okay, I-"

I exit the room, shutting my head and body down - all I needed to do right now was get home and lock myself up inside my room.

Bloody hell.