THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XVI

The rest of the week, I hadn't seen Alexia. 

She did not show up at training after the long weekend I personally spent with my family. I didn't text her, because it didn't feel like my place, but the coach only told us she couldn't attend training this week because of 'personal issues'. I couldn't help but wonder if that had to do with the mysterious phone call she received in Malaga, or with her little fight with Sandra at the party, but something was wrong. 

At the end of the week, then, I decided to show up at her apartment unannounced, regretting it already. I knock at the door, frowning. 

To be honest, this week has been pretty grey in terms of emotional colors, and although I didn't want to admit it to myself, it was mostly because of Alexia's absence. And only realizing that just makes my anxiety level go pretty high. 

What the hell are you even telling yourself right now? I ask myself, jumping out of surprise when the door opens and that I see Alexia's face appear through the small hole left when she opened it. 

"Alexia? What's wrong...?" I ask, in shock.

She has dark circles under her eyes, while her usually casual facial expressions seem tensed and her whole body seemed on edge. 

She visibly is very surprised to see me.

"Mewis. What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you, obviously ? What-"

But as I started my sentence, a cry occurs from inside the apartment - a voice that was so weak yet broken, not attempting to pronounce any word yet one could feel the pain they were into. I immediately realize it comes from a woman, and it comes from inside Alexia's apartment. 

Determined to understand what was going on, I force my way in, as Alexia steps in my way, grabbing both my arms to stop me from coming in. 

"You need to leave, Mewis."

"What's going on inside?" I insist, trying to see above her shoulder. 

When I do spot something above her shoulder, my eyes go wide: another brown-haired was lying down on the couch, her body convulsing a little - or what looked like it, I don't know, I ain't no doctor. 

Alexia sighs, before repeating herself:

"Mewis, leave."

"Tell me what's going on, or else I won't leave."

Rolling her eyes and letting another loud sigh out, she ends up letting me in, while I rush toward the other woman.

Quite immediately, I recognize her from the framed picture that was on the shelf in front of the couch: it is Alexia's sister and, from the look of it, she wasn't doing too well... I immediately spot the skin irritation, the track marks, on her arm, while the area around the vein seemed discolored. 

I turn toward Alexia, who had tears rolling down her eyes. 

"She's an heroin addict, in case you're wondering" she says in a dead voice, as if any light in her had been switched off. She sits down next to her sister's feet, holding them down during the crisis, before adding: "She's a model, and hung out with the wrong people in the fashion world. My mom doesn't know, and I wanna keep it that way so no rehab center - I just sober her up the old fashion way, with advices from a certified doctor."

Feeling terrible for having invaded her privacy like that, without knowing what I would get myself into, I just respond:

"Can I do something to help?"

Shaking her head, the brunette just wipes her tears away and responds:

"No, it's fine... I am sorry you had to see that."

"I'm staying - I don't want you to go through this alone."

She doesn't protest, and from the look in her eyes she had already been through it all alone for too long.

***

Alexia closes her bedroom's door behind her after Alba's seizures finally stopped, and that she finally fell asleep.

"It's been like that for a week now" she says, sitting down next to me on the couch, sighing in relief, "the crisis are less and less violent, which is a good sign. I'm hoping that, in a few days, it's gonna be over."

"I am very sorry this happened to your sister" I say, as I cannot help but think about what it would make me feel to see my own sister in that situation. As Alexia sets her eyes on me, I add: "Who else know?"

Thinking for a while, the brunette ends up responding:

"Jonathan obviously, and then within the squad, only Sandra and Aitana, I think. And you, now."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"Thank you" Alexia softly says, as she looked so tired that I could've mistaken her for someone that hasn't slept for an entire week, "the medias finding out about this and exposing it for gossip's sake is the last thing I want."

Nodding my head, I just get comfortable in the silence that establishes itself between us. 

However, when Alexia starts crying again, I just turn toward her, my heart aching: I had never seen her so vulnerable before, and as weird as it sounded, I had never felt that close to her either. As she wipes her tears away, I just instinctively get closer, before grabbing her forearm, making her listen to what I have to say: 

"You are an amazing sister, Alexia."

Scoffing, she just reacts by saying:

"A shitty one, you mean: it took me so long to realize my own sister was an addict..."

"At least you found out and get to be here for her. Don't be too hard on yourself: the whole problem about addicts is that they hide it pretty damn well."

Nodding her head, Alexia just bursts into tears again, visibly at the end of her rope.

Without thinking, I pull her closer into a tight hug, thinking that I could at least give her some presence and support the only way I knew how to. If she is quite surprised in the beginning, not hugging me back, she just feels my arms wrapped around her back while our chins rely on each other's shoulders. I feel a slight tickle inside my stomach, but choose to ignore it. 

After a while, she gives in and wraps her own arms around me, crying in my arms. And this single-hauntingly was the most beautiful demonstration of trust and acceptance anybody ever had with me.

While slowly caressing her back, I would repeat on a loop:

"It's all gonna get better... It's gonna be okay, I swear..."

And, while whispering in her ear, I would just forget about the world - it's such a slippery slope that you'll never be able to climb it again, I think to myself, suppressing any kind of feeling or emotion I could experience. 

I just wanted to be here for her.