THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

II

My sister's eyes soften as soon as she sees my face appear on the video call.

"Aw, Sammy" she sighs, knowing very well what I was feeling at the moment. Restraining herself from making fun of me, she rather declares: "Alright, like we always do: two negative points for three positive ones. Go."

A comfortable silence establishes itself while I just try to pull myself together. After a few seconds, I end up saying in a shaky voice:

"Negatives are: distance, change. Positive are beautiful city, nice roommates, cozy room."

Kristie smirks. 

"I know it doesn't feel like it just yet" my sister starts, confident, "but trust me, change is not a negative thing. Rather, it scares the shit out of us, but it's always good in the end. You just gotta be patient."

I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, right" I sassily let out, half-serious, "you're saying that 'cause you ended up on a welcoming team, met the woman of your dreams and gave a second breath to your career."

"Sammy, don't-"

"It's only a matter of time before I get left out of national team camps. I mean, have you seen all the younger girls around? I gotta raise up my game, and I don't know if I have it in me anymore... I don't ever deserve to be here in the first place."

Kristie's eyes stare right through the camera, before she says in a harsh voice:

"You fucking ignorant, you do deserve to be here - you really think a player ends up in the best club in Europe by chance? Nah, sis', it means you're worth more than you think."

"What am I even doing here, Kratch?" I insist, totally lost. "I mean, look at their midfield: they have Engen, Bonmatí, Patri... and that's only when the star midfielder ain't here. You know I can't take the Ballon d'Or's place, she's Alexia freaking Putellas."

"Nobody wants you to take anyone else's place, Sammy!" Kristie lets out, visibly out of patience, "they need a Sam Mewis right now. So be that player, please. Don't waste 1'000 dollars plane tickets, 'cause mom and dad wouldn't be happy."

Finally cracking a smile, I can see how proud my sister is to have been able to make me laugh. 

"I'll try."

"You do better than try, Sammy - it's your chance to change your life: don't waste it."

"Yeah... It's getting late, I'm gonna go get some sleep. Love ya, Kratch."

"Love you, Sammy."

I hung up the phone, restraining myself from crying once more. 

Wiping the tears away after a solid 10-minutes breakdown, I finally walk out of my room, my new Barcelona gear in hand. Today was my first physical session with the team - and first training overall - and I was pretty nervous. Last night, I heard Ana-Maria and Frido talk about how some girls of the team did not like my coming here, as they thought I was 'too late to save' or something like that. 

I know they are trying to be nice and go easy on me, especially when they both smile at me when I make my way to Ana's car. The car ride to the training facility mostly consists of Frido telling us all about her vacation with her boyfriend in Italy this summer, as well as Ana's meeting with a visibly cute student living next to her apartment in Switzerland. As for me, I remained silent, sometimes reacting to what they were saying. Knowing very well that I was stressed out, they didn't ask any questions. 

As soon as we get to the gym and that the coach is about to introduce me to my teammates, a deadly silence invades the room, as I know very well that they all know who I am, and disliked my arrival...

***

"You did great, Americana" someone tells me by giving me a slight tap on the back. 

When I turn around, I realize it is Ona Batlle, who is already on her way to the showers. I know that she is being nice to me mostly because she is also a newcomer, although mostly everybody knew her from the national team. 

Almost the whole squad was here already: I witnessed how, apart from Ana-Maria, Frido, Ingrid Engen, Caroline Graham Hansen, Asisat Oshoala, Geyse the Brazilian and now me, there were only Spanish footballers in the team. This also meant that they knew each other very damn well, better than they knew the 6 foreigners of the team - both on and off the field. Only missing were Irene Paredes  because her wife just gave birth to their first child, as well as Alexia Putellas, who was in Turkey for an award ceremony occurring tonight. 

As I am one of the first out of the showers, I find myself waiting right next to Mapi Leòn, one of the Spanish soccer team's stars. 

"¿Qué vas a hacer esta noche?" she asks, knowing very well that I didn't speak a word of Spanish.

Behind me, a voice raises:

"She's asking you about your plans for tonight", and when I turn around, I see it's Ingrid. 

"Oh, u-um" I start, caught off guards, while the dark-haired wraps an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders. While they both stare at me weirdly, I painfully add: "I mean, I don't know anyone here, so I was thinking of a Netflix night... you know."

The Norwegian smirks. 

She then talks a few words of Spanish with the tattooed blonde, before looking at me again, stating: 

"We are having the team over for a small dinner with a few drinks to watch the UEFA ceremony - and Alexia, obviously. Would you like to come?"

I immediately nod my head, surprised by this proposition.

"Y-yeah, I'd love to" I only say. 

Nodding her head, Ingrid cracks a smile, before walking toward Frido, with who she has been good friends from what I had gathered. 

Meanwhile, Mapi just turns toward me and says, this time in English: 

"It'll get better with time."

"I'm sorry?" I ask, confused. 

"This team" Mapi clears out, a smirk on her face, "I know you don't feel welcomed here. But that's part of the mentality around here: it's mostly about competitiveness, and you're yet another good midfielder threatening their spots."

"This is bullshit" I let out, rolling my eyes, "I'll never compete with an Alexia Putellas."

"No, that's true" the defender honestly says, "but you can compete with the rest. Give 'em time, and you'll see: it'll get better with time."

Giving me a friendly wink, she then joins her girlfriend, leaving me confused. 

... I regret even coming here in the first place...

________________________

Get to know the players: Samantha Mewis