THE PLAYERS SERIES : S.M. {book 2}

XXVII

San Diego, CA, USA

The calm before the storm.

When I came across from Frido earlier today, the stress was already taking over my whole body, soul and, especially, stomach and chest. It was my first international cap since my injury, over a year ago, and I was really scared about my upcoming performance. Especially now that, in 2023, the World Cup will be occurring in Australia and New Zealand - the spots will be well fought for, and all I could hope was to be winning a few battles and make the team.

As we are about to get onto the field, I take one last look at my phone, and immediately my heart does summersaults inside my chest:

From: unknown number {6:56 pm} hey, Mewis. I got your number from Lucy. I just wanted to wish you good luck for tonight's game, enjoy it as much as you can because those memories last forever. - Alexia.

Suddenly, I forget how to breathe for a minute, before getting snapped out of my trance by Abby, who was checking on me as usual. In a hurry that doesn't go unnoticed, I put my phone back into my bag without answering the text, as Abby stares at me with a frown. However, the knows better than to ask me about it right now, so she remains silent as I follow her onto the field.

As I advance amongst the starting lineups, my head held high, I just cannot help but think of her - was she watching the game ? did she think about me as much as I thought about her? What did it all mean...? Endless questions I must stop asking myself for now, as the cheers from the USWNT fan resonate inside my head.

I empty my mind and go all in.

***

FT: USA 3-2 Sweden, goals from Horan (34'), Lavelle (87') & S. Mewis (90+1') ; Asllani (12') & Rolfö (76').

Kristie pulls me into a tight hug.

"I'm proud of you, sis" she whispers into my ears, before adding in a playful manner, "if you tell anyone about this, I'll deny ever saying it, but I love you, dickhead."

"How sweet" I comment, amused.

Our parents were waiting for us to go to the restaurant after the game, hence we rushed into showering and getting ready. I opted for a sober ensemble, while Kristie went for the tight yet long dress. We got to her car, as she gets behind the wheel and starts driving. We playfully honk the horn at some of our teammates, including Abby and Lynn, while driving past them, before falling into a comfortable silence.

After a while, Kristie says:

"I need to tell you something, Sammy, but you gotta promise you won't get mad."

"This is a shitty start for a sentence, Kratch" I comment, already annoyed.

My sister nods her head, serious for once.

"This morning, our parents came across from Pat... Apparently he's back from his Europe trip and he was done hiding things away. So..."

"... oh, no..."

"... he told our parents about the divorce. I just wanted to warn you before tonight's dinner in case they would throw you under the bus about it, but they were quite mad, Sammy."

"What, that I didn't love Pat anymore?" I ask, irritated.

"No, that you didn't tell them" Kristie clears out. As I roll my eyes, she quickly adds: "Anyway, the point is, your divorce ain't gonna be a secret anymore."

Sighing, I just keep on saying, angry:

"You know what? Fuck everybody on this planet who think they can decide who I marry or fall in love with! And you know what more? Fuck the person that invented the idea of love 'cause it's fucking shit. Like, why would someone actually think 'oh, let those two fall in love with each other' only for then doing everything in their power to keeping them apart? Uh? This makes zero sense."

Kristie briefly turns her face toward me, before saying:

"Doesn't sound like you're talking about Pat still."

"Of course I'm not talking about him - follow please!" I exclaim, out of my mind.

"Jeez, here we go" Kristie comments, staring a the road.

"I mean, who does she thinks she is ? Sending me a good luck text after she ignored me for a week? I mean, yeah, maybe I was too harsh on her before leaving and should've listened to her, but that's no reason! She should be hating me right now, not sending me nice texts that only force me to realize that she actually is a decent person I could actually see myself with in the long term!... or not, I don't know ! But she should stay away - why would she send me the damn text?"

"Sammy, maybe-" Kristie starts, but I wasn't done;

"Freakin' celebrity, my ass - everybody think she's so tough but really she's a softie at heart, and she's always been a tremendous player, leader and person as a whole... Like, how couldn't I actually like her? Although she's out of my reach - or anyone's, for that matter?"

"Maybe-"

"And then - thennnn, when I expected it the most, who makes a reappearance? Freakin' Abigail with her pretty face and amazing mind. Like, did God think 'oh, she's falling for one of her teammates that doesn't really like her back? Let's bring her forever crush back to spice things up'? I mean, what kind of messed up reversed psychology is that? Worst part is: she's still married, while I'm not! And even if she wasn't-"

"Sam...-"

"even if she wasn't, nothing would happen, 'cause my mind and heart are torn in two. Nobody deserves to be in that position, for fuck's sake."

This time, I end up shutting my mouth, feeling the tears getting my eyes wet.

"Here we go..." Kristie mutters under her breath after glancing toward me, and then, in a louder voice, she declares: "Sam, trust me: although it seems like you're never gonna get out of this tricky situation, you will. Everything happens for a reason, remember?"

I nod my head, unable to speak.

My sister takes advantage of this moment to quickly stare at me, before adding:

"By the end of the week, you're gonna be back to Barcelona. Maybe try and enhance a meaningful conversation about where each of you stand toward the other?"

I nod my head again, before turning away and looking at the view, a tear rolling down my cheek. Meanwhile, Kristie grabs my hand with her free hand, squeezing it softly.

I felt like this pain was never going to go away.

____________________________________________

Get to know the players: Kristie Mewis

feat. Abby, Sam and Rose