On and Off the Track

E I G H T E E N.

  "I'm moving out" my words booming down the corridor as I dropped my bag to the floor. I skipped into the kitchen, beaming from ear to ear. "Wait what?" I could see Mila was slightly hurt by the statement, her spoonful of soup still hovering close to her lips, as she stared back astonished. "I found the most perfect apartment today, I'm going to move in on 21st." She stared blankly before returning back to her soup, with a solum appearance. My heart dropped at her reaction, I walked up and encased her in a masssive bear hug. Rested my chin on the top of her head, "you still have a week left with me, don't be sad. It's only a ten minute drive away. I will visit every day. Don't forget we also have that girls trip you promised to take me on" I watch her face turn to a slight smile, in the reflection of the cabinets infront of us. I kissed her on the head and made my way to my room. I had a busy day and was in desperate need for a shower and change into some comfy clothes.

I emerged from my room, a little less then an hour later, my hair washed and fresh faced. I was smelling much better then before. Mila left out a bowl of pasta for me, I grabbed it from the counter and strolled over to the couch where she was sitting. I slumped down next to her, propping my head on her shoulder, as I watched the show that was on. 'Maria wants me release a statement about me and Lando soon" I could feel her head slightly jolt to the side, "what, its so soon. Why'
"That's what I thought but photos were released this morning of Lando out with some girls and people are starting to assume" my voice monotonous and blank. I was so tired of this situation, I just wanted to be done with it and move on with my life.
'What an ass, the sooner the better I guess. Do you want me to help you write it" I appreciated her help but I think this is something that is best done by me and me alone.
'No, thankyou though. I'll be okay to do it on my own. I also think it should be personal. I mean I was with this boy for seven years." Chucking at the irony of it all, seven years of my life dedicated to this boy and this is how he treats me,
"That's fine, just give me a shout if anything changes. Despite from that how was the rest of your day"
"Shit" I said through a quick breath. "Well no thats not entirely true. My dad called saying I have to go to Monaco, and really didn't care about the break up, so that was shit. But mum called later on and was sweet, then I also found the apartment today, as well as the shoot going well. So apart from those two things, my day wasnt too bad, how was yours?" Mila picked my head off her shoulder, faced me for a minute before placing my head back down in the same place.
"Definitely was not as crazy as yours. I just had a fitting and went for lunch with Sol. You okay though"
'Yeah I'm okay" the more I said it the more it actually started to become true. I was beginning to feel somewhat normal again. My heart still ache at the thought but my brain now knows that I deserved better and should start living again. It was refreshing. Things were starting to be okay again.

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Next day...

I woke up the next morning with a new found energy. I went for a run for the first time since the breakup. The morning air burning my lungs as the first sun rays hit my skin. When I got back to the apartment, Mila had just gotten up and was perched on a chair, sipping her morning coffee as she swiped though the morning news. "Me and you are going out tonight. I'm sick of staying in this apartment." Mila sprang up, we cheered like two little girls. Jumping up and down as we held hands. The moment ended fairly fast after she realised I was drenched in sweat. Stepping away slowly, she rubbed her hands on her trousers, in disgust. I threw my head back in laughter as I went to have a shower. I changed into a pair of leggings and an oversized jumper. Slumping down onto the edge of the bed, as I stalked my phone in the corner of the room. I would have to do it at some point in the day. No point putting it off. My body rejecting every movement, I slowly typed the message. Reading it over a thousand times, checking ever word over and over again. I forced Mila to check it four times and sent it to Maria for approval. I hate this. I was anxious over the reaction of my fans. I felt as if I was disappointing them in some way. I couldn't quite think about the type of hate I could receive, even worse the guilt I would feel if lando recieved any. As much as I resented him at this moment in time, I would never wish that upon anyone. My hands were shaking as I pressed post. Very ounce of my body battling against it. I felt sick as I watched the upload complete. As soon as the circle was completed, I threw my phone across the room.