On and Off the Track

T H I R T Y N I N E.

"So, how was Charles?" Mila jokes.
"So, how was Pierre?" I retaliated.
"Touché" Mila laughed. "It was nice though, I talked to him about Charles" 
"And..." I sat up in interest.
"And he said the break up was weird. He said that one day Charles just woke up and didn't want to be with Charlotte. Like a switch went off in his head. Pierre said it was weird, he didn't even understand it" this worried me a little bit. If he could leave Charlotte that easily, how easily could he just get up one day and decide he didn't want to be with me. "But I'm sure he won't do that with you. I've seen the way he looks at you" it was like Mila could read my mind. It was scary sometimes how I would be thinking something and she would respond to just that thing I was thinking. Like I was having a conversation with her without even speaking.
"What do you mean the way he looks at me?"
"Bronte, you are so blind sometimes. He looks at you like you are the only thing that has ever mattered to him" My stomach did flips as the words left her mouth.
"I never see that"
"You never see it because you look at him in the exact same way." I smile weakly. Why can't I just feel happiness over this. Why has this caused a pit in my stomach that makes me feel sick.
"You okay B, you look a little out of it"
"I don't know"
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Thats should have made me happy but instead I feel sick"
"Are you scared?"
"Of what?"
"Falling in love again" I sighed, trying to swallow the tears forming at the back of my throat. My neck felt like it was closing in.
"Im scared that I will be the only one that will fall" Mila shot out a laugh, completely taking me by surprise.
"You do not need to be worried about that. Because he has already fallen" while smiling a single tear rolled down my cheek. I had no idea why I was crying but I was. After I had cried enough that my eyes had a tint of redness, and my nose was a faint rose colour, I wiped away the tears and sat up.
"Okay enough crying, that was weird" Mila laughed, pulling me in for a hug as she did so. "Tell me everything with you and Pierre. I hate being out the loop"
"I don't know... he just I don't know" she says. I roll my eyes at her, laughing at her response.
"Wow Mila, great description" I mock.
"I don't know how to explain it." she took a deep breath  "Okay it's kinda like this. I had no motivation to do anything about my future for three years. But all it took was one week with him and I had goals and aspirations. I can't describe it. I just like him, alot, like alot alot." she chuckles.
"So are you official?" as bad as it sounds, I was hoping she wasn't. Because that would mean she didn't tell me that. And that would definitely hurt.
"No just friends" she sounded sad but accepting of it like she knew that label wouldn't last long.
"Mila, from what I've heard you guys are way more than friends, but you know keep telling yourself that" we sat in silence, both of us grinning. I knew why she was grinning, Pierre. But I didn't know why I was grinning until I really thought about it. I was smiling because of Charles. The thought of Charles. "Have you kissed" her cheeks instantly went red and her smile grew.
"We've kissed." my eyes bulged open in shock, my hand covering my mouth with shock. "But it was only a peck. Honestly B I was going to tell you. It only happened tonight. I was going to tell you even if Charles hadn't"
"Woah, you don't need to explain yourself. I did the same thing with Charles"
"I know you did and I had a massive go at you and you hadn't even kissed him at that point"
"It was different scenarios, you have every right to be with Pierre"
"I'm sorry for having a go at you for Charles. I really am. I wished I never did" I pulled her in for a hug.
"Don't worry about it. You have nothing to be sorry for"
"Why does it feel like I do"
"Because you are a good person Mila."

Mila and I spent the rest of the night talking and watching tv. She told me everything about Pierre. They first started talking at the driver's dinner I went to with Lando, but things got serious once they caught up in australia. I felt happy for her as well as being finally in the loop, as selfish as it sounds. But what can I say I am a nosey person.