On and Off the Track

E I G H T Y T H R E E.

After the celebrations in Austin, Charles and I were off again, this time heading to Mexico for the next leg of the season. The energy from Austin still lingered between us, and as we boarded the flight, I could feel a subtle shift in Charles's mood, his focus slowly turning to the next challenge. When we landed in Mexico City, the warm weather and vibrant atmosphere greeted us, but instead of heading straight into the hustle and bustle of the city, we took a little detour to a private villa outside the city. It was like stepping into a hidden oasis, surrounded by lush greenery and stunning views of the Mexican landscape. The villa itself was breathtaking. Minimalist yet luxurious, with wide-open spaces and floor-to-ceiling windows offering panoramic views of the mountains. For the first time in what felt like weeks, we had a couple of days completely to ourselves, free from the pressures of racing and the constant media attention. It was a rare moment of quiet, and Charles, who's usually so regimented, seemed to melt into the slow pace of villa life.

Our first day there was spent lounging by the pool, soaking up the Mexican sun. I couldn't help but notice how different Charles was when he wasn't in race mode, more at ease, more himself. We had no schedule to stick to, no meetings or obligations, just the two of us. It was a side of him I didn't always get to see, and I cherished every second of it. In the evenings, we'd sit out on the terrace for quiet dinners under the stars. The villa's chef made the most incredible Mexican food, and we'd eat while swapping stories about the places we'd been and the places we still wanted to explore.  The second day was just as relaxed. We wandered the grounds of the villa, taking long walks through the surrounding nature, talking about everything and nothing. I felt this overwhelming sense of calm wash over me, knowing that even with our crazy, fast-paced lives, we could still find moments like this. Just the two of us, away from everything. By the third day, it was time to head back to reality. We moved to a hotel closer to the track in Mexico City, and the difference between the villa and the city was immediate. The calm we'd enjoyed was replaced by the usual pre-race buzz. Charles slipped back into his disciplined routine, diving into team meetings, strategy sessions, and training. The hotel was full of drivers, team members, and fans, all buzzing with excitement for the race weekend. It was the F1 world in full swing, something I'd grown so used to. Despite being back in the middle of the chaos, those quiet days in the villa left us both feeling recharged. I felt content, watching Charles prepare for the race, knowing we could still find balance in our lives, no matter how intense things got.

I was seated comfortably in Ferrari's hospitality area, my laptop open in front of me as I worked through some emails. It was one of those rare moments when I could actually focus on my own stuff, without the frenzy of the race weekend completely taking over. Around me, the usual hum of activity filled the space, team members rushing around, prepping for the weekend ahead. I glanced up briefly from my screen and noticed Joris sitting across from me. We'd fallen into an easy conversation, catching up on life between races and laughing about a few behind-the-scenes moments he had captured of Charles in Austin. I always enjoyed his company; his laid-back attitude and sharp humour were a welcome distraction from the intensity that sometimes surrounded us.
"I'm telling you, the shot of Charles trying to act cool in that cowboy hat was priceless," He chuckled, shaking his head as he sipped his coffee. I smirked, leaning back in my chair.
"I saw that. Definitely not his best look." Our light conversation was interrupted when my gaze drifted toward the entrance, and I saw Lando walking in. For a moment, I tensed, unsure of what seeing him would stir up. But as he moved further into the hospitality area, I noticed something different. He looked better. Much better. It was obvious to everyone that he had been struggling recently, in his qualifying results, in his post-race interviews, in his basic body language. There had been this heaviness to him, a kind of exhaustion that had worried me, even if I hadn't said it out loud. But today, something was different. He looked lighter, more energised, and there was this brightness in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a while. He hadn't spotted me yet, but I found myself watching him closely. He was chatting with a couple of McLaren team members, laughing in a way that felt real. I smiled to myself, relieved. Whatever had been weighing him down seemed to have lifted, and for the first time in a long while, Lando seemed like himself again. Joris must have noticed the shift in my attention because he followed my gaze.
"He's looking better, isn't he?" He said quietly. I nodded, tearing my eyes away from Lando for a moment.
"Yeah, he really is." Joris gave me a knowing look. "
You've been worried about him, haven't you?" I shrugged, not really wanting to admit just how much Lando's struggles had been on my mind.
"We've known each other for a long time. It's hard not to care, even when things have... changed." He nodded, understanding.
"I get it. He's a good guy. It's nice to see him bouncing back." As we continued chatting, I couldn't help but steal another glance in Lando's direction. It was strange, seeing him so happy stirred up this mix of emotions in me. I was genuinely relieved for him, but there was also this weird sense of detachment, like I was watching someone from a past life. Still, I felt a sense of peace knowing that both of us seemed to be finding our way, even if those paths no longer intertwined. I tried to focus on my conversation with Joris and the emails in front of me, but my eyes kept flicking back to Lando. It was easier to keep the conversation light, to distract myself, but there was a part of me that couldn't fully shake what I was feeling. Seeing him like this, recovered, re-energized, was a good thing. It should've been a relief, and yet, it tugged at something deep inside me, something I couldn't quite put into words. Jon picked up on my distraction, offering me a gentle smile.
"You know, you don't have to pretend like it doesn't still get to you." I looked at him, startled for a second.
"I'm not pretending," I said, almost too quickly. But then I sighed, leaning back in my chair as the honesty crept in. "Okay, maybe I am. It's just weird, you know? I'm happy for him, I really am. It's just... complicated." He nodded, giving me space to continue if I wanted to. I hesitated for a moment, then let the words spill out. "I guess I didn't expect seeing him to feel like this. Like, part of me is relieved because I've been worried. But another part of me... I don't know. It feels strange watching him move on with his life when I've been doing the same." I glanced at Joris, my voice quieter now. "Is that selfish?" He shook his head.
"Not at all. You two had a lot of history. It's normal to feel... off about it, even if you're both happy now." I smiled gratefully at Jon's understanding.
"Yeah, I guess so." Just then, Lando spotted me from across the paddock. He gave a small, easy wave, his face lighting up when he recognized me. For a split second, I froze, but then I smiled and waved back. There was no awkwardness, no tension in his body language. He walked over, looking relaxed, like seeing me was the most natural thing in the world.
"Hey," Lando greeted me warmly, his eyes still holding that familiar spark. "How you finding Mexico" I chuckled softly.
"Yeah, good." Joris grinned, standing up and giving me a reassuring squeeze of my shoulder, I returned it with a quick smile.
"I'll leave you two to catch up. Good to see you, mate." Once Joris left, there was a moment of silence between Lando and me, but it wasn't uncomfortable. If anything, it felt almost... normal. Sensing the ease, Lando leaned against the table, his gaze relaxed.
"How have you been?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Good," I replied with a smile. "Really good. You?" Lando's expression softened.
"Better. A lot better." I nodded, feeling warmth spread through me.
"I'm glad to hear that." We stood there for a moment, both of us just taking in the strange familiarity of it all. It was surreal, being in this place where so much had changed, yet somehow, our care for each other hadn't completely disappeared. Before I could say more, Charles appeared in the doorway, catching sight of us. His presence pulled me back into my world, and I saw Lando glance over, nodding politely.
"Hey," Charles greeted, sliding his arm onto my back, his protective yet relaxed nature showing. "Everything okay here?" I smiled at the ease in Charles's voice, sensing no discomfort between him and Lando.
"Yeah, just catching up." Lando gave Charles a friendly nod, standing up straight.
"Good to see you, mate. I'll let you two get back to it." He gave me a soft smile, a quiet understanding passing between us. "See you around." As Lando walked away, Charles pulled me a little closer, pressing a kiss to the side of my head as we watched him leave. There was a brief pause before Charles spoke.
"You alright?" he asked quietly, his thumb gently brushing my back. I turned to him, feeling my heart settle into its usual calm rhythm around him.
"Yeah, I am," I said, smiling softly as I leaned into his embrace. He looked at me for a moment longer, his expression thoughtful but not pressing. He trusted me, and that was enough. With a final squeeze of my shoulder, he nodded toward the exit.
"Come on," he said, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "Let's get out of here. You've been working too hard." I raised an eyebrow.
"You're one to talk. Who's the one in back-to-back races?" He shrugged, still holding onto my hand as we made our way out.
"It's different. My job involves driving fast and having fun. Yours is... well, I suppose it's more complicated." We laughed together, the conversation between us light and familiar as we walked through the paddock. The air in Mexico was buzzing with energy. Fans cheering, cameras flashing, the excitement of the upcoming race thick in the atmosphere. But here, in this little pocket of space between us, it felt calm.

As we reached the car waiting for us outside, I glanced back at the paddock one last time, my thoughts briefly flickering to Lando again. There was something comforting about seeing him do well, moving forward in his own way. I knew that we had both grown from what we had shared, and I was content with that chapter closing. Charles opened the car door for me, pulling my attention back to the present. Once inside, I settled into my seat, watching the city blur past as we drove toward the hotel. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow over everything. We spent the drive in comfortable silence, Charles occasionally glancing over at me, his hand resting on my thigh. The weight of his touch was grounding, reminding me of everything that was right in my life now. When we got back to the hotel, a strange sense of peace washed over me. The evening was ours, free of the usual chaos, and that felt rare these days. Charles suggested ordering room service, and we ended up sitting on the balcony with our food, overlooking the bustling streets of Mexico City as the sun dipped below the horizon.
"I think you've earned this break," I said, taking a sip of my drink as I leaned back in my chair. Charles chuckled, looking out at the view.
"Maybe. But I don't feel like stopping." I glanced at him, studying his face in the fading light. There was something quietly determined about him, a fire that never really went out, even during these quiet moments.
"That's what I admire about you," I said softly. "You never stop pushing yourself. Even when you've achieved so much, you keep going." He looked over at me, a faint smile on his lips.
"And you? What keeps you going?" I thought about it for a moment, my gaze shifting out over the city.
"I think it's the same thing, really. There's always more to learn, more to experience. I guess I just want to make sure I'm always growing." Charles reached out, taking my hand in his. A warmth spread through but before I could respond, he pulled my hand to his lips, kissing my fingers gently.
"Let's take tonight to relax," Charles suggested, leaning back in his chair with a rare look of contentment on his face. "Tomorrow will be busy enough." We spent the rest of the evening talking about everything and nothing, enjoying the calm before the storm of race weekend. I felt lighter than I had in a while, the thoughts of Lando and the past fading into the background as I focused on the present. On Charles, on us, and the life we were building together. By the time we went to bed, I was exhausted, but in the best way. Curled up next to Charles, I drifted off to sleep.