On and Off the Track

T H I R T Y S E V E N.

"B, just because you are dating an F1 driver, doesn't mean you need to drive like one" Mila screamed over the music as I swerved between cars. With the combination of the car I was driving and my lack of safety, it was hard not to speed.
"We aren't dating yet" I chuckled, as I overtook another car. Sighing once I saw a clear stretch of road ahead. "Also you are one to talk" I added on at the end, receiving an eye roll from her.
"Whatever," Mila leant her forehead on the passenger window as I propped my head up with my one arm resting up against the window, while the other held the steering wheel. Both of us hummed quietly along to the music while blurs of trees and other roads buzzed past the window. We had planned to go down later today. But after yesterday, we both finished the last of our jobs early so planned to go down in the morning today and not later in the evening. After an hour of silence, Mila propped her head up.
"So how was the family meal, you haven't mentioned it" I realised I hadn't, she was right. Mila was normally the first person I would tell about these sorts of things, but I must have just forgotten.
"Oh yeah, sorry I completely forgot to tell you." I quickly turned my head towards her before looking back to the road. "Surprisingly it actually went really well. My dad and I were perfectly fine, he even made his own attempt at an apology."
"Oh my god, B. That's so good. Awh I'm happy for you" she reached across and squeezed my arm. I smiled lovingly back at her. I still couldn't feel entirely comfortable around her as I was still keeping another secret from her. I could get rid of this nagging feeling to apologise to Lando. Even though the world had just found out the truth and technically I never did anything wrong. I couldn't help but feel so much guilt that it was all my fault. I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat, clearing my throat as I did so.
"Mila" I said quietly, too quiet for her to hear me over the music. I repeated myself again but I was still too quiet to be heard. Finally I mustered up enough courage to get her attention.
"You good?" Mila asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
"Yeah , I'm good. But I want to tell you something and you can't get annoyed, okay?" That was Mila's least favourite way I started any conversation. In the corner of my eye, I could see her sit up straighter, catching herself before she did it, but she did make an attempt of an eyeroll.
"What is it?" I picked at the stitching on the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to say this, wording it very carefully. Carefully enough that she would see my point and not think that I'm being crazy. Mila, I want to apologise to lando. No that wouldn't work she would instantly shut that down saying I have nothing to apologise for. Um... I've been thinking and I feel bad for trusting Matilda and I think I should apologise to Lando. That could work? No it wouldn't she would again have a go at me for thinking that I am in the wrong. Okay... I need to word this so it doesn't sound like I think I am in the wrong. Even though I rationally know I'm not, I can't shake the feeling like I slightly am. One last try. I don't want me and Lando to be fighting any more. Okay that is a good start, it has truth, she'll believe it. I think I should meet up with him this weekend and talk everything over, I wanted some sort of closure. After all, this boy was my best friend for most of my life. I don't think I can manage losing a best friend and a boyfriend at the same time. And I said just that. Except there were a couple ums and pauses as I tried to sneak looks at her facial expressions. Unfortunately for me, this girl's face was completely blank, emotionless, stone cold still. I couldn't tell if she was happy, sad, angry, or excited. My eyes kept flicking over to her waiting for her to speak, she didn't. "Um... Mila? What do you think?" I watched her mouth open and close while she contemplated what to say.
"What do I think? I'm thinking. What am I thinking? I think." She kept repeating the phrase over and over again as she sorted through her thoughts, all while remaining completely emotionless. Her words the embodiment of being nonchalant.
"Mila, you are scaring me" I chuckled nervously. I genuinely thought I had broken her. Turned her clinically insane with my stupidity. But I still didn't think what I said was stupid, it was the truth.
"You know what..."
"What" I quickly interjected.
"I can understand where you are coming from" finally her face showed an emotion. An emotion I never had seen in Mila. A mix of contentment, appreciation and curiosity.
"So you think I should"
"I think you should go about it very carefully." she was right, this was dangerous territory.
"How do you think I should do it?" I asked.
"Well... you should meet somewhere private, otherwise the media will be all on top of that. But not somewhere too private like your homes as that causes intimacy. And I remembered you too, you guys' sexual tension was way too intense for you two to be left alone in a room together." She had a point but also gave me the difficult task of figuring out where to meet.
"Okay, I'll figure that one out later. How should I contact him"
"Do you still have his number"
"Yeah, but I have no idea if it is still the right one. He could have changed it."
"Try it, there is no harm in trying, if not, I'm going to the race so I'll chat to him there if you really want me to.'' This was the first time I heard about her going to the race, and I knew the reason she was going.
"You are going to the race?" I smiled smugly, thinking of future taunts I can say to her about Pierre.
"I am indeed going to the race. Just because you're not doesnt mean I can't." she rolled her eyes and laughed. I watched her cheeks turn red and I smiled at her knowingly.
"And let me guess you are going to watch a special Alpha Tauri driver."
"You are so annoying." she laughed, trying to not look too happy just thinking about him.
"You are completely and utterly in love. Oh my god. How could I have missed that. I'm such a bad friend" how could I have been that blind. I mean look at this girl right now. Her cheeks were cramping from smiling just over the thought of him.
"You had a lot going on"
"Yeah but nothing that was more important than you. I'm so sorry for not noticing. That's my job as your best friend. I let you down"
"Oh my god, B you are always one for the dramatics aren't you? It's really not that serious. You were cheated on, you broke up with your boyfriend of god knows how many years, then got into a relationship with his biggest rival. Your life was a complete mess, I'm surprised you even noticed anything." It didn't bring me the relief Mila was trying to give me.
"I just don't get it. Sol, Bali, everything, how did I not see it"
"Well me and Sol were never serious, so I wasn't too upset when we ended. And in Bali, I really did want to tell you but I didn't know how to."
"You didn't know how? What do you mean?"
"Well of course I knew how, but I guess I liked it being a secret. I felt I could keep it safer and easier if less people knew" I couldn't be angry at her at this point, not like I ever properly was. But she felt the exact same way I felt with Charles. I couldn't be angry with her over something I did in the exact same situation.
"Okay, I get it now. I'm happy for you I really am. But it also means from this point onwards if Pierre tells you anything about Charles you have to tell me" Mila shot me a look like are you being serious right now.
"No" she said bluntly, totally unimpressed.
"What why?" I huffed.
"I'm not using Pierre to satisfy your need to know what charles is thinking"
"Urgh... boring. Okay but can you atleast try to find out one thing"
"Depends on what."
"Can you find out what happened between him and Charlotte? Pierre must know, and Charles refuses to talk about it"
"I don't know B, there might be a reason he's not telling you"
"Please" I begged her with puppy dog eyes, my lower lip curling over as I pleaded.
"Urgh... fine. But I'm not going out of my way to find out. If the subject comes up then I'll see."
"That's perfect. That's all I need" I leant over to hug her pressing my cheek up to her. But in doing so the car swerved onto the other side of the road. Mila snatched her hand up to the wheel and straightened the car.
"I'm never going to find out if you kill us by your driving" I put one of my hands up in the air to gesture an apology, before returning my hand back to the wheel. I adjusted my posture and hand placement to a dead straight back and hands at 2 and 10. Ensuring I would drive flawlessly from this point onwards. Slightly mocking her comment, and slightly seeing where she was coming from. Thinking I've dated an F1 driver for so long, I was an awful driver