You Can Let it Go ♡ Peter Parker x Reader

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒 | 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧

TW, drug addiction, mentions of going to a rehab, self h@rm, mentions of being su!c!dal, depression

also credit to my policeman for a quote at the beginning of this chapter

💐

When you are sat down and told that your mum has been using nicotine for the past six months... It is genuinely so shocking because I am supposed to forgive her for 'kicking me out,' but I can't, I'm supposed to forgive her for calling me a whore. I've been told she was high for most of our conversations over the past months and that it's 'cause her sisters death was a lot on her, Lina told me that me being raped was the reason she started using so heavily.

I feel guilty.

She is going to rehab and Lina is taking her right now, I just said goodbye. She will be gone for at least a month. It has been five days since she kicked me out and three days since they learned she was using nicotine, and she left for rehab about three hours ago. I'm in my room curled up in a ball full of guilt. I don't remember where Peter said he was going but he has been gone for thirty minutes.... It could be a couple hours, I don't even know.

Tears haven't stopped falling since I was told that she has been addicted and I'm part of the reason. I've never had such a big feeling of depression, and I don't think that I've ever been this suicidal. I am a horrible person.

I hear my door open then shut, "Do you want to shower?" It's Peter I look at him and he has a backpack in his hand. "I'm going to stay with you for a couple days if that is alright." He sets it down.

I sit up, "Yeah, I will." I get onto my feet realizing I hadn't shower in two days, "Sorry I probably smell like shit."

Peter shakes his head, "No you don't is it alright if I go in with you and help you? You deserve a treat." I nod my head in response. I turn the black knobs to hot and I begin stripping off my clothes, I pull my hair out of the messy bun and I look at myself in the mirror. I look so ugly. Peter who is now shirtless wraps his arms around my waist. "You are beautiful." He kisses me cheek.

I shake my head, "I can be but not now." I wipe another tear that falls, Peter kisses my eye this time and I break down into tears, "I hate myself." I choke out. "I hate this, I can't stop crying, and I'm a horrible person." I cover eyes.

Peter places a comforting hand on my back, "No you aren't, don't say that." He holds up my chin. "You are so fucking amazing, you are not a horrible person." When I don't reply he pulls off his boxers and then steps into the shower with me and I let the water fall down on me. "I love you." He whispers. "So, so much."

"I don't love me, and you shouldn't either. Love you though." I kiss his lips gently. But he shakes his head.

"Stop it. Stop saying that. You are so fucking amazing and I love you so, so much. I need you to stop saying that. Don't listen to what Li said this is not partially your fault. None of this is." He cups my cheeks. "I love you and nothing will change that. This love is all-consuming and I pity people that don't know what it's like to be this in love."

More tears roll down my cheeks, "Okay." I nod. He holdings my face against his chest. We sit in the shower embracing each other's presence.

Peter kisses the top of my head, "I love you." He whispers.

I close my eyes, "I love you." I whisper back. "Thank you."