You Can Let it Go ♡ Peter Parker x Reader

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟓 | 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝

TW, mentions of death, mentions of r@pe, 0verd0se, i think that is all i wish you all luck reading this

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It has been a horrible day, starting when the only person who talked to me was Tony. When I got to school, Lex didn't say hi to me in the hall for the first time ever, she just glanced at me and then kept talking to her girlfriend. But, I did get to write my love to Peter which made my day ten times better.

In english we are supposed to write a letter to an parental figure in our lives, which mine just-so-happens to be my traumatizing parents. So when we were instructed this, I wrote my mum, and what she has done to our relationship. I chose this cos my table-mate is Peter who will be proofreading it once I am done.

Why I won't let you in.
(To my mum.)

You made it easy to find you growing up, to access you when I would come home from being with my abusive father. It's funny to me cos he hit you twice, but you still let your daughter be with him when I said that I didn't want to, I was the victim, I came home with bruises, and you let it happen. I didn't realize that me spilling my feelings to you about my abusive father would cost me my own mum and that comfort I used to receive. Convenient, am I disturbing you and your love Lina who choses to ignore me and blame me for your drug problems? I'm sorry that I am disrupting your life when I speak about how I feel and what pain you've let me have growing up? Okay, I will be quiet. We can talk about it later, it can wait, I don't mean to be a burden, I can wait, it's really okay. I will just run to you for comfort when it is more convenient for you. You have been there for me over and over again, but when you find out what has been happening to me since I was a child, you run away. Now, I am expected to be there for you while you heel from this drug addiction that I caused, but where were you when I needed you? You weren't there. So I don't want to be there for you. I found myself looking up on my phone durning class a couple weeks ago, 'Is it okay if I don't love my mum?' The answer was no, because you are the reason I am alive, I am supposed to love you... but you are also the reason that I'm mentally ill, the reason my boyfriend caught me hurting myself, the reason I told my boyfriend I want to die, that I don't want to live. You let this happen, and I know I shouldn't blame you for what happened to me, I should blame Jack, but you let this happen to me. I don't think that I will ever forgive you for that. I won't ever let you in again. At this point I don't even know know if I love you... You make me feel unwanted and unloved. I don't want to let you in anymore.

Sincerely, Y/N

When I finished writing I had to excuse myself to the bathroom considering I was on the verge of tears. I am processing the fact that both of my parents have failed me, they have treated me horribly and now I am so fucking messed up. As soon as I reach the toilet I quickly go into a stall my breathing is picking up so I sit on the toilet and choke out a sob. Hot tears stream down my face I go onto my phone to ask Tony if I can go home cos I know that Li wouldn't reply but instead I see a text from Peter,

Peter: you alright, darling?

Y/N: no i need to go home.

Y/N: can i go to your house?

Peter: yeah i can bring my keys. is it okay if i tell the teacher that this assignment gave you some PTSD and that i need to bring you your stuff? she isn't strict so I'm sure she wont care to much

Y/N: thats okay, thank you

I open the door, go to the sink, and wash my face to clear my eyes. I walk out of the bathroom and towards the classroom. Peter walks out and his face sinks when he sees me, "What's the matter, love?" He passes me my stuff and his keys to his apartment.