The MMA fighter (completed)

Chapter eleven

Why can't I love.

No pov

It was sunday, three more day until Lapis and Peridot can go out to funland. Peridot was still out of her mind over that phone call, maybe it was a butt dial, a mistake even, surely Lapis didn't mean to call Peridot, out of all people Lapis likes her? It has to be a mistake, Peridot was just some nerd that nobody talks to, besides her friends and Lapis, Peridot was very calculated in her tones, knowing what to say and how to say it, her moves were also calculated but sometimes they weren't and would cause her some trouble.

"You really think you have what it takes to beat Jasper?" She said.

"I DO, YOU JUST DONT BELIEVE IN ME YOU NEVER DID!" Peridot yelled, she couldn't believe her coach, her mentor, her own mother never believed in her even if she won anything, best grades, highest marks in state testing, SAT, and ACT.

"By the way you're acting, it seems like you don't, Peridot, I don't come here to make you turn out a fool in the ring, I come here because I need you to be at least worth something to me." Ouch...

"Why can't you just be proud of me outside of the ring, I'm WORTH SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST A FIGHTER, IM WORTH MORE THAN MY WINNINGS." Peridot couldn't handle it anymore, why is she more cold than usual, is it because of her opponent, is because Peridot is getting more distracted than usual, what can it be?

"Listen mother-"

"I am not your 'Mother' Peridot, I am your mentor, inside of the ring or out, you will not be allowed to call me mother until you can prove to me that you can be worth calling me your mother." She spat, Peridot took a step back, feeling a pang in her heart, Peridot lashed out her anger on the punching bag behind her, knowing she isn't allowed to touch her mentor.

Never once has her mother shown any affection towards her daughter, as an only child, Peridot had to only use her imagination to help cope the feeling of being lonely, the motherly love she so wanted to feel was never there, ever other child in the previous years of her childhood had such great mother and other not so much, but she still yearned for the affection and attention her mother would never get her, not once would her mother acknowledge her, only on birthdays and special occasions where Peridot and her mother would have to attend to look like a 'Wonderful mother and daughter relationship.'

"ARRGHH." Peridot yelled after mustering up her last punch to the punching bag, cause a minor tear on the bag, her mentor looked at Peridot with uninterested eyes, looking at the punching bag, and finally looking back at Peridot once more.

"Well, it seems you had a field day with this bag, take it apart and stitch it back together, that way you can be worth a tiny bit to me." Her mentor said, Peridot could feel daggers being pointed at her, although her mother's back was turned, that doesn't mean Peridot could feel the stare her mother was producing.

Clicking of heels faded, a door opened with a loud clack, and the door slamming shut with a loud echo, once the echo faded away, Peridot couldn't help but to sob, the knot in her throat continued to build no matter how hard she cried, Peridot fell on her hands and knees.

"WHY CAN'T SHE BE PROUD OF ME, IM WORTH SOMETHING," Peridot wailed loudly, wishing her mother can run back inside and hold her tightly, saying it was going to be okay and that she's proud of her, but it never happened, it never will happen.

Peridot couldn't help but scream her lungs out, no matter how bad her throat hurt or how the echos of her screams continued, she wanted to be seen, be heard, and be comforted, and yet, no one has dared to ask her how she is, all of this is why Peridot can't love, or can't show love towards others, it sucks, she had never once liked anyone cause she wasn't capable of showing love, all she was capable of is taking care of her friends, doing things for them, buying things, or do stupid stuff for them, that's what Peridot thought was showing love to them.

Tears continued to flow down her face, her fists slamming down on concrete, her knuckles started to bleed but, Peridot couldn't care, her mother never cared about her so why should she care about herself.

Soon all the tears stopped flowing, it's been an hour since her mother left, and Peridot lost all the motivation to continue to cry, all the tears went away but, there was still a sense of urgency to cry more, Peridot gripped her face with a pained expression and slowly got up, she didn't care that the punching bag was still tore up, she just wanted to return home and go to sleep to escape this day, Peridot shakily sighed, and grabbed her bag, she hissed from the pain in her knuckles, looking down at her hands, she definitely did a number on them, blood continued to flow down ever so slowly, but still Peridot didn't care, all she did was shrug and went on.

After returning to her dorm, fumbling with her keys, she heard a familiar voice.

"Peridot?"

Oh no...