The Killing Kind ~Lucius Malfoy~

Feeling Emotions

"Darling, are you all right?" Lucius's voice boomed through the solid door separating them. 

Alexis stood over the sink, breathing heavily. She splashed water over her mouth, trying to rid herself of the taste of bile. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push down another wave of nausea. 

"I'm fine," she called out, hoping he would leave. 

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was pale and strands of hair stuck to her sweaty skin, wet with moisture and water. She felt disgusted with herself. She was meant to hate Death Eaters and everything they stood for. She couldn't help herself from thinking about Lucius as more than just another Death Eater. She hated how close she allowed herself to get to him. 

In a rush of adrenaline, she left the bathroom, walked passed Lucius and apparated as he shouted questions and concerns at her. 

She arrived in front of her house. She walked in and Demetri looked up at her from the sofa, laying a book on his stomach. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, furrowing his brows. He sat up and his book fell onto the sofa. 

"Tomorrow," Alexis said, her face set. 

"Tomorrow what?" Demetri stood cautiously, taking a few steps toward her. He examined her face more closely. "What happened?" 

"Tomorrow, I'll kill him." Alexis tried to scurry passed Demetri but he grabbed both her arms, holding her in front of him. She had no strength left to fight him. 

"Lex, tell me what happened." 

"Nothing happened." Alexis heard her own voice betray her. 

"Then why the sudden rush to kill Lucius?" Demetri asked. "I thought the plan was going well." 

Alexis swallowed hard, her eyes emotionless as she remained silent. 

"Lex, talk to me." Demetri's tone was impatient as he shook her gently. 

"I don't care about the plan," Alexis said. "We should have just killed him like the rest." 

"And what about his wife?" 

"What about her?" Alexis said with more aggression than she meant. 

"Relax, I didn't mean - Lex, what is going on?" 

Alexis took in a breath, letting it out slowly. "I'm killing him tomorrow. You can stay here or come, I don't care." Alexis tugged her arms out of his grip. "I'm going to bed." 

"Are you feeling guilty because he's married or something?" Demetri asked. 

"I don't care about that," Alexis said, moving toward the stairs. 

"Can you help me understand, please?" Demetri begged. 

Alexis stopped on the first step, turning to look at him. She knew she wasn't good at communicating, especially when it came to her feelings. "You don't need to understand." 

"I want to understand so I can help." 

"You can help by going along with my new plan." Alexis gripped the railing tight, her knuckles turned white. 

There was silence as Demetri thought. "Did he do something to you, Lex?" he asked quietly, softly, as if his words might trigger an avalanche. 

"Of course not!" Alexis said defensively. "I am more than capable of handling him." 

"Then what?" Demetri asked, exasperated. "Are you starting to like him?" There was a flicker of emotion in Alexis's expression, so small and insignificant most people wouldn't have noticed, but Demetri knew her too well. "That's it, isn't it? You're getting to know him and you like him." 

"I don't like him, Demetri. He's a murderer." 

"So are you." It came out before he even realized what he was about to say. "Lex-" 

"You're right," she said, cutting him off. "I'm a murderer too. Maybe I deserve the same fate as Lucius." 

"You don't, it's different." Demetri rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm just trying to say that even murderers can have a good side." 

"Murderers of the innocent and the weak?" Alexis asked rhetorically. 

"Yes, Lex." The silence stretched. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" 

"Nothing happened. I think we should just do it sooner rather than later."

"You're running from your emotions," Demetri said. 

"What?" 

"You're feeling something and you're scared. You've always done this." 

"No I haven't," Alexis argued.

"Really? Because I've known you for a very long time, Lex, and I've never seen you be emotional. You would have a crush and suddenly stop talking to that person. Your fucking parents died and instead of grieving, you turned to murder, to revenge. Doing something feels easier than hurting, but eventually, you're going to have to process that pain, Lex. You can't keep running from it." 

"This has nothing to do with my parents." 

"It has everything to do with them!" Demetri retorted. The silence stretched as Demetri watched Alexis for any reaction. Her face was set as she stared passed him. "What happened with Lucius, Lex?" 

Alexis snapped her gaze back to Demetri. She didn't answer. Instead, she turned around and walked upstairs to her room.