Beautiful Dichotomy

chapter 9

After graduating high school, Rae and Gabby went to the same undergrad and ended up moving out completely to live in North Jersey. They got an apartment together, Rae working two jobs while going to school and Gabby having her parents pay her rent.

Once graduating undergrad, Rae had gotten a full-time job. It was a surprisingly well paid position that was also remote. She enjoyed working there especially the flexibility to still go to school. They ended up agreeing to stay in New York together and attending graduate school.

Rae has not lived at home since she moved out for her freshman year of undergrad. She couldn't stomach going back.

Samuel, on the other hand, just didn't want to go back to the town. After getting a taste of freedom in an undergraduate school in California, he decided that was it for him. He vowed never to live back in that small town, with those people and to focus on himself.

After two years of living in a single dorm, he finally got some roommates. Surprising not only himself but his parent's as well since he enjoyed sharing a space with them. He realized how different college was and how there were so many different people who are still figuring out how to express themselves.

His roommates were met through the first friend he made end of Sophomore year, David. He then invited Sam to share the dorm with him and his two friends. It then just became a small, very close and genuine friend group. This same year, David finally had the talk with Samuel. Telling him, he genuinely needed to explore different fashion styles and hairstyles.

John and Kim thanking David endlessly meanwhile Samuel was super hesitant. He dressed like this basically his whole life and was very comfortable. It all changed as David made Samuel a few socials and showed him all of the different types of outfits and fashion.

Eventually Samuel was finding these inspirations still felt like him, but look so much better.

It felt like everything was coming together. His roommates collectively got rid of the straightener and the studded belts and bracelets. David could tell Samuel wasn't entirely confident and gave him some great advice, "even if you just change one thing, it can help you feel more confident."

He was right: Samuel allowed his natural hair to grow out to it's beautiful, shiny thickness. Learning online how to style it as it should always have been, the waves of black hair were healthy and flattering.

Samuel was genuinely handsome.

Almost too handsome, as he barely recognized himself in the mirror. Strengthening his sense of style, figuring out how to actually apply make up, and doing his hair properly boosted his confidence. He never thought he'd feel so good about himself... then his other roommate, Haashim introduced Samuel to the gym.

He wasn't too keen on going too much, so he wasn't obsessed, but it was enough to note subtle changes in his appearance. His body leaning out, more abs showing, his shoulders slightly growing in size, and his biceps as well. His legs looked stronger and more toned.

It didn't hurt that all four guys were handsome. Thus introducing Samuel to a type of attention he never truly received before: from women... a lot of them.

After Samuel graduated, David put an idea in his head. As David dr used to go to NYU for a change in scenery. Samuel agreed to wanting the same change as well. With Samuel's grades and serious passion for history, he was almost guaranteed any graduate school. His internships had glowing reviews and so did his letters of recommendation from different museum directors.

Sadly, splitting up their small little friend group, Samuel and David moved to New York City. Finding a decent apartment and went to graduate school together.

All the while, Rae made no meaningful self discoveries and barely changed. Gabby's friendship was the same as ever as Rae still withheld a bunch of personal information. Gabby didn't mind this all too much, as she'd rather not engage in sad, self-pitying pep talks.

Gabby just liked to go out, get drunk and fully enjoying the advantages of financial freedom. Rae found some comfort in working, feeling the opportunity was benefiting not only her self but her career. She didn't find the same type of enjoyment or relief from partying like Gabby. It was just another thing they didn't have in common and as time passes, that list grows longer.

A very small part of her was envious of Gabby. Her financial advantages, her good looks, care-free attitude and everything she doesn't have to worry about. Despite this, she never took it out on her or felt that strongly.

Rae made some friends at school, but none that were going to continue outside of the class. She wasn't exactly sure what went wrong and where. She figured that it wasn't like her personality in high school was much different... she could admit it was a lot brighter than the one she had now.

Was this the cause for everything to be so different?

Gabby couldn't quite understand Rae and her logic... she understood she had to work but never got why she didn't want to go out. She practically held her at gunpoint to force her to go out. Gabby wanted Rae to get the "college experience". To which Rae would cave, force her smile and try to enjoy herself.

She did not really find solace in drinking or partying. It wasn't relaxing or stress relieving all that much. Was something wrong with her? It's a question she had asked herself every day for the past five years.

She barely spoke to anyone in her family, other than her siblings. She didn't really have much to say to them nor did they do to her. Truthfully, her parents divorce was more messy than any of them had hoped.

Things were much worse before they turned to silence especially since she was still considered a minor. They fought over her, both parents, schemed and pleaded for her to take their side for legal reasons. The last thing she wanted was to upset either of them and realistically didn't want to get involved at all but that wasn't the case.

As their mother stayed to take care of not only her and her sisters, but their childhood home. Rae felt like she had no choice, especially as her siblings told her that it could help having their dad pay child support.

Jamal took it as a stab in the back and took offense as his role as Rae's father. So he decided to cut ties with her. After trying to reach out to him, she realized her phone number was blocked and he had deleted her off all of his social media. For years, even now, she didn't receive a happy birthday.

Shaking off the sadness that wanted to consume her, she focused on her schoolwork. Looking up to check her work laptop every few minutes to see nothing new that she needed to get done. As she stretched and groaned, she looked back down and continued writing.

"Hey, did you forget about tonight?" Gabby appeared out of basically nowhere and questioned her.

Rae innocently looked up from her book and just stared, "huh? No why?" Her half smile unconvincing before placing a palm on her for head trying to remember whatever it was she agreed to do it with Gabby.

"I asked you like two weeks ago if you could come to this event with me because Jules can't come," one of her eyebrows raising as she finished putting in her earring. She looked beautiful, her wavy hair cascading down her body as her well toned and beautiful frame was accentuated by her tight dress.

"Yeah, I remember, and you look gorgeous by the way." She added genuinely as Gabby couldn't help but smirk and turn to show off her outfit. Feeling herself.

Her gassing was enough before she turned to finish getting ready. Rae continued to smile to herself, although she dreaded going to whatever she had agreed to go to.

She had a hard time saying no to Gabby. Feeling as if she owed her for the times Gabby helped out with her share of the rent which Rae always paid back eventually. She knew it wasn't fully Gabby's money but it was the thought that counted.

"We have to leave by six to get there on time so please start gettin ready if you can! "Gabby yelled out from her bedroom as Rae realized she didn't get done work until five. Knowing that there wasn't anything to do for work at the moment and also this assignment wasn't due for another two days, she decided to hop in the shower, bringing her work laptop in there just in case.