Beautiful Dichotomy

chapter 55

"I don't wanna end things like this." Rae cried, her words soft and sweet, making Samuel turn away from her.

"I'm heartbroken," he said plainly, still not facing her, "what did you think? That I'd be okay with you leaving me?"

"Samuel-"

"I can't," he shook his head, "if you need the space, just leave... take it."

She wasn't sure what to do with herself in this moment. It was straight pain. A pain she'd never experienced before, "you don't have to wait for me, if you hate me and want to move on I get it."

"Do you?" His anger making his voice raise as he quickly turned to glare at her, "are you giving me permission to go out and date other women? Is that what you want me to do next?"

Rae took a step back, not expecting his response or to see him this angry at her. Yet his questions making her tear her eyes away from his, looking down at the ground. Of course she didn't want him to date anybody else, but how could she ask even more of him?

How was that fair to him at all?

"I can't ask for space and- and time and expect you to just wait. I don't know how long and I can't ask more from you," she choked.

"Rae... I didn't ask you that."

"I'm not answering," she turned to now grab her things, "I won't."

"Why not?" Samuel said now following her towards his door, his voice still slightly raised.

"Please, stop." She said quietly, knowing he was right behind her trying to force her into answer him and in this moment she couldn't get her shoes on fast enough with her bandaged finger, "shit." She felt the tears running down her cheeks as she kept dropping things, unable to get a firm grip on her shoelace. "I won't help you until you answer me," Samuel loomed over where she sat crying, his words making her look up at him.

"I'll leave without shoes," she huffed, angrily wiping more tears as she tried to stand up only to see him swiftly going to block his door. "Fine!" She caved at his extreme efforts, "It would kill me!" Her voice raising back at him, not fully yelling but close to it. Her words broken between her cries, "seeing you with another woman would kill me and I don't want you to move on. But it doesn't fucking matter how I would feel or what I want, it's about what you want."

"I don't want space and I don't want to give you any time. Does that matter?" His immediate comeback making Rae sigh, she was exhausted. She knew this was all her doing and she had to face the consequences. "That does matter, of course it does," she said calmly, one of her hands finding its way to his bicep reassuringly, "and I was wrong for saying that how I did without talking to you first. I'm sorry for that."

Samuel's eyebrows shot up as the same hand now cupped his cheek. Trying to remember exactly what he felt like as she began pulling him closer. Feeling his reluctance at first before their lips met in a soft, solemn kiss.

Samuel could feel Rae's face shaking before she pulled away, seeing her still crying.

"You have to understand that I don't want the space from you; I need it." She clarified, now looking up at him, their faces inches apart. "If I didn't, I would never ever ask for it. I love you."

"You can't say that when you're leaving me."

"I say it everytime I leave, what's so different this time?" Rae tried to lighten the mood as they still stood closely to one another. Her hand now gently wiping a tear from his cheek. The same gesture he's done way too many times for her. Wishing he would look back up at her as he kept his eyes down. "I'm afraid... I don't know if you'll ever come back," he confessed as he held onto her hand, squeezing it almost painfully tight as he pulled her by her neck for a short kiss on her forehead. "I love you too."

Samuel now stepped away from the door only to kneel and help her with her shoes. Right when he finished, he couldn't look at her and went directly to his room. Stressfully running his hand through his hair, seemingly unable to wait to tell David that he was dead wrong.

Trying to collect himself, by the time he did one full turn he heard the door clicked shut and she was gone.

Four Months Later

"Can you stop? Seriously? We're too old to be doing this," Rae screamed, now begging her two sisters who were busy trying to fist fight one another. Nobody else around to help as they stood in their childhood home. A place Rae was too embarrassed to admit she was staying at much too often.

Their unintelligible screeching at one another making her go insane as she scooped up her niece and put her in another room. Not wanting her to see their ridiculous fight.

"I hate her. She's the fucking worst!" Penelope screamed at the top of her lungs, "and I'll fucking kill her!" She lounged once again, Layla not caring prepared for it as Rae was clobbered in the middle. Suddenly feeling a painful whack to her eye as she now grew mad and pushed them apart.

Her phone too far away to call for help making her have to shove them further away from each other. Layla not able to hear or even see clearly as her rage took control. The sound of her screaming and the angry tears falling making Rae coax her into going to her room. Far away from this fight while she spun to Penelope, disappointment on her face.

She pointed at her, "don't say a motherfucking word. She started that shit and I'm not gonna let her disrespect me."

"She's our sister."

"I don't give a flying fuck, next time I will kill her if she tries to hit me again. Tell her that." Her threatening finger making Rae roll her eyes, "you need to calm down, everyone does. I'm sick of this shit, we're all old as hell and the kids are here. They don't deserve this."

Penelope waved her off, now calling everyone she knew to vent.

Rae was busy cleaning up the broken glass and whatever else was thrown around. Pausing at the sight of her nieces and nephews just staring at her. "Hey guys," she put on a brave face, smiling at them. Her niece shakingly pointed at her, "you have booboos."

Finally taking a moment, she felt the painful pressure around her eye. Reaching up, she flinched at the sensation of what was sure to be a black eye until her nephew added, "it's bleeding."

Rae touched her eyebrow, not even noticing that whatever her sister hit her with, it cut her. Nothing major but she knew it probably looked terrifying to the poor kids. "I fell earlier and I didn't know it hit that hard."

"Oh no! Booboos!" Her niece immediately less worried hearing it was a fall, which made Rae relieved as she reassured her that it didn't hurt.

"Did my mom hit you?" her nephew asked her plainly, making Rae wave him off, "can't nobody hit me." She tried to joke but he didn't even crack a smirk. Shaking his head, he picked up her niece and they stayed with her in the bathroom so she could bandage it up. "Should I call mom mom or pop pop?"

"Hell no." Rae quickly snapped, before her niece corrected her, "that's potty word!"