Beautiful Dichotomy

chapter 27

Dahlia looked up when she heard the door unlocking, only to see Rae coming from her morning class, and looking much more exhausted than usual. All Dahlia did was stare, "hey... how was class?"

"Felt like it would never end," she responded as she was taking her shoes off and setting her bag on the hook. Going in her room to grab her work computer as today was the day she worked late. Dahlia continued the conversation, "well you're here now." Her smile wide making Rae smile back. Nodding to agree she sat across from Dahlia at the small table in the back corner of the living room.

They worked in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Dahlia couldn't keep it in anymore, "it's eating me alive: what happened last night? What time did you end up getting in?"

The smile she had on her face was all the answer Dahlia needed. "Oh, so I'm gonna guess it went good!" She lightly clapped her hands before signing into her computer and Rae's embarrassed look the moment even better. She put up her hands and shook them, "we didn't do anything too serious, we just- kissed."

Just seeing Rae look so happy and hopeful made Dahlia even more excited. She begged her for all the details as they continued, "after you guys left early we did just talk," she blushed, "and full disclosure, I honestly don't really know what happened but when he was talking... all I want to do is kiss him."

"Ahhh!!! I love that you initiated it!"

Rae covered her face with her hands to block out all of the feelings she was feeling. Trying to mute Dahlia's squeals of joy.

"You gotta tell me how it was!" She leaned more over the table, desperate for anything Rae could offer. She genuinely thought their entire story was something out of a movie and she was hooked.

If anyone rooted for them to work, it was Dahlia.

"It was amazing," Rae did not hesitate, "I've never been kissed like that in my life," she let her head tilt back, "and a part of me isn't sure if it's because he's just a good kisser or I waited for it so long it just couldn't be bad."

"It sounds like he's a good kisser," Dalia said excitedly before she looked at Ray with an eyebrow raised, "hold up... so tell me more, how long have you guys really known each other?"

"He moved to my town Sophomore year of high school," Rae was mindlessly doing her work on the computer as she spoke, "he didn't really have any friends, so I wanted to be his. At first, I want to be his friend out of curiosity, and I think, because I felt bad... But the more I talked to him, which wasn't often, I don't know Dahlia... I kind of just developed a tiny crush."

"Tiny?! "

Rae rolled her eyes and let out a laugh, "okay it started out tiny and then it wasn't tiny anymore," her light laughs interrupting most of her words.

"If you don't mind me asking, if the tension you guys feel now was anything like back then. You know, when you guys were horny little teenagers... how come you guys didn't pursue each other you know romantically back then?"

Rae wasn't expecting such a heavy hitting question, especially not that one. She asked herself the same thing frequently since she ever met him. All she could muster as a response was shaking her head and shrugging. Dahlia looked at her expectantly, waiting for Rae to use her words instead.

"I think I was really in my head back then or maybe I was just a little self-absorbed? A lot of my focus was on me and how I felt. I think I kind of projected a lot of how I felt about myself onto all of my relationships and friendships."

Dahlia just sat there, not wanting her jaw to drop at such a real answer.

"I've never really been confident in my looks or truly left myself and I think that stopped me a lot. Like from doing what people would say is normal teenage stuff. "

"Totally understand that," she got it before she added on, "and I want you to know that that's so real like I was so confused and anxious and scared of how I felt about myself and what I knew about myself. It consumed me and unfortunately, I didn't explore any of it until I moved out. A huge part of me wishes I would've accepted who I am along time ago but I'm happy where I'm at now. So maybe this thing with Samuel is just as real."

Dahlia's confession and words making Rae kind of nervous at their implications, "I mean I don't know if I'm totally over the not loving myself thing but I'm really working on it."

"Girl you kissed him. That's a huge step."

The reminder making her shake her head with the brightest smile. Dahlia was happy they had this little moment, and that they both opened up a lot more. She could honestly admit that she loved hanging out with her.

From there, work the rest of the day felt easy. All that could be heard was them laughing with each other, while the Netflix show played in the background, and they caught glimpses of it and reacted together. When she only had a couple of minutes left, Rae got up and realized that her phone was in her bag. Reaching into it as it hung on the hook by the door, she pulled it out to see a couple of missed texts and a call from Samuel.

"I think I know who got you smiling like that," Dahlia teased.

Rae quickly clocked out on time as she waved to Dalia before scurrying to her room. Completely bypassing the text she called Samuel back and put it on speaker as she plopped on her bed.

Each ring felt like she was being dropped on a ride and her stomach was just floating.

She started to give up as the phone kept ringing, she rubbed her forehead, mad at her self for keeping her phone in her bag. "Rae?"

Almost giving herself whiplash as she lifted her head quickly, "hey Samuel! I left my phone in my bag after class and I was working until a couple of minutes ago," she blurted, speaking so fast.

The sound of his laughter through the phone made her feel somewhat relieved.

"I figured. When I texted you, I saw your phone was on do not disturb... I pushed it through anyways though." He continued to laugh. Not really knowing what to say or talk about she was just nodding and not making any noise so he couldn't hear her. Before she spoke up, he did, "something really bad happened today."

The sound of those words coming from Samuel made Rae grab her phone tighter, asking him what happened immediately. She grew nervous for what he was going to say and the dread overcame her.

"I just-" he sighed dramatically, "I kept missing you... like so much."

He waited to hear her relief as it came. She sounded like she ran a marathon the way she now exhaled. "I missed you too," she added, "but don't do that!" She scolded him. His laughter contagious as she joined in.

"How was your day?"

"It was good... astronomically better now though," she flirted with him, making him slightly blush as he maneuvered on the sidewalk to get the the train station. Their conversation continuing as if they've known each other forever.