Life Dies In The End

Chapter 63

I had made it outside the bar, but I hadn't entered yet. Thor was in there mixing his own drink. Probably the 9th of the day already. It hurt to see him like that, knowing I could've stopped him from spiraling. If I had been the proper kind of sister things would've been different.

Maybe if I had told him that we were family back when I first met him, all the way back in 2012. Or maybe if I told him while we grew into an almost family with the other Avengers. Or maybe when we fought Ultron. There were many things that I had done wrong with Thor and Loki. I had written them off, telling myself they could never be my family like Ela was. So many things could've been different between us. I could've been a better sister.

I'm still gonna try. I'm gonna try and fix what I've done. I'll start by apologizing. Then I'd get Loki back. That would fix what I've done. It had to. There was nothing else I could think of that could repair my family.

I slowly entered the room, my footsteps soft as I watched Thor down a drink in seconds and begin to mix another. His movements faltered for a second as he realized I was in the room. He continued to make his drink, keeping his head down.

"Do you want one?" He asked as he didn't meet my eyes still mixing the drink.

"Yeah, sure." I spoke softly as I sat down at the bar.

A silence fell as he finished mixing the drinks. I searched for the words to say as he poured the mixture into two glasses. What was I supposed to say to him after everything? The best thing to start with was probably an apology.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you." I spoke softly as Thor handed my drink to me, still avoiding my eyes, almost as if he was afraid of me. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I was wrong." I paused hoping Thor would look at me, but he didn't. "What happened to Loki wasn't your fault. If anything it was mine, I mean, I'm supposed to keep you two safe, being the oldest and all." I sighed as I hung my head. "I've done a great job at that so far. I wasn't even around when you guys were growing up and then I didn't even tell you who I was when we first met." I scoffed softly as I shook my head. "I made Dad and Mom hate me with such a passion that they never even told you I existed. I've failed at many things, but the one that hurts the most is failing my family." I glanced towards Thor. "Failing you and Loki."

A silence fell as I downed my drink. I was supposed to be the goddess of life. Ever since I was little I was taught to protect it, taught to save life. Here I am now. A broken goddess. Someone who failed at their only purpose. Odin tried to salvage me, but I was doomed from the start. I followed Ela down her path. I made all the wrong choices. I rose to my feet to leave, knowing I had said my peace, now it was up to Thor to do the rest.

"They told us about you." Thor broke the silence, causing me to turn and face him in confusion. "They told us stories about you, I always thought they were fables to entertain us." Thor placed his drink down as he continued. "They never used your name, they only ever referred to you as the Goddess of Life and they never mentioned Hela." I stepped slowly towards him. I always thought they had erased my existence. "They spoke about you fondly. They never hated you, not once. It made them sad to see you choose the path you did, that's all." Thor met my eyes, causing my steps to falter as I saw the pain in them. "Not once did they hate you, and not once have I hated you."

Thor sighed as he came to the other side of the bar. I could see there was still more he wanted to say, but he was hesitant to. I had never known that Mom and Dad spoke about me. I thought they had written me off. Looking back at it now, Odin wasn't mad to see me before he died. I swear I could've seen a glint of happiness, before I tried to kill him. He was willing to let me kill him if that meant I'd see where I was going wrong. If that meant I'd finally open my eyes.

"You were right about one thing." Thor brought my attention back to him. "It was my fault Thanos won." I went to tell him off, but Thor spoke over me. "I had a chance to kill him and I failed."

"We all failed." I corrected him, as I stepped towards him. "We all had an opening to kill Thanos and we all failed at it. I was wrong to say that it was your fault." I paused running my hand through my hair. "I was still holding out hope for something I wasn't ready to admit was gone." I sighed trying to shake away the guilt filling my body. "But now we have a chance and we'll complete it this time. We'll win this time. All right?"

I placed a hand on Thor's shoulder unsure of who I was trying to convince, myself or him. Thor quickly pulled me into a hug, mumbling a few things about forgiving me and getting Loki back. I couldn't really understand him since he started crying.

Thor had changed a lot in the past few years, now only in appearance but in behavior. His personality though was the same. Before he displayed his strength and goofy behavior more than now. Now he had shoved his layer of strength below his softness and inability to read a situation properly.

I'd make sure he'd be able to put that person he used to be back together. I'd do whatever it took to get Loki back. I'd do whatever it took to do it. I wouldn't let this chance slip through my fingers. This time we would win and I'd do it with everything I had. What more could I lose?

~~Hi, Fallen_Angel here. Have a good day and be good people.~~