My Warrior Path (Book 6)

When Did I Lose My Confidence?

For over 20 years
I have been the rock
The warrior
The multitude of steel cables
Holding the suspension bridge
That has been my life
While mentally & emotionally
Supporting others

But I suddenly came to the realization
That there has been something
I haven't been facing in the last 2 years
When did I lose my confidence?

In these last few months
Strangers, friends, family,
Classmates and professors alike
Have been telling me that
I can do this, be positive, have the strength
To overcome all

They have never known anyone else
But it's as if I have reverted at least partly
To who I was in grade school
Without realizing it

The confident, kick ass-take names woman
Who defended all, protected all
Has become somewhat timid again and unsure
Of her own capabilities

While staring Mt. Everest in the face
Only a month or two away from starting
To climb it
How will I handle it?
If something I have cultivated for so long
Has become so shaky, so unsteady

Losing my grandfather so suddenly
So horribly, 2 years ago
Must have shaken my foundation
Like a 9.5 earthquake on the Richter scale

How do I get back what I have lost?
How do I return to who I was or be better?
How do I face my future, with any hope at all?