Today I am 40

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Usually the day before,
I think about everything that's happened in the last year
But now I have thought of everything that's happened
In the past decade

10 years is a long time
I spent my 30th Birthday
In Las Vegas with two good friends
I will spend my 40th in my hometown at a restaurant
With some good friends

In the last decade,
I've faced good, bad, life, death
I've been bedridden
I stopped breathing
I was blessed with a miracle
I started my PhD
Became an honor student

I traveled around the world
Made amazing friends and memories
Tried new things, reached new goals
I returned to my birth country for the first time since leaving
I've grown, I've learned, I've experienced huge setbacks
I've lost an important person in my life
I've questioned my will to live

But here I am
Today I am 40
I'm unmarried, no kids, no where near where I need to be
Yet
Another revolution around the sun
I can't see the future
I just hope that, I'm strong enough
To get through all the hurdles, swamps
Make the little victories big again

Where does this hope come from?
Hell if I knew
So I still belong here even when I don't have any energy
And so much has gone wrong again

A new decade has started
Tick-tock-tick-tock
Where will it bring me?
Let's see.

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