Robin x Nancy // maybe we aren't that different

Chapter 24: you left me stranded

Heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.

Robin was tired. She was tired of the guilt, tired of the pain, tired of feeling like this. She lay in her bed still in the very clothes she had worn the day before. Her parents didn't get back until late Monday night out on yet another business trip that she had grown so used to.

She didn't want to think of yesterday, but her mind disagreed with her, always straying from the path she tried so desperately tried set it on resulting in a nights worth of thoughts and sobs.

She lay in her bed, the makeup she had so meticulously put on yesterday was now blotched down her cheeks after being drowned out with a river of tears. Her eyes droopy from the lack of sleep and her mouth dry from the lack of water she finally mustered up enough strength to sit upright glancing slowly at the dull lonely room she had been staring at all night.
Her eyes landed on the bear that Nancy had won for her that night at the carnival. She couldn't look at it, the pent up anger and guilt seemed to overcome her when she thought about it. It triggered something inside her. She stuffed it under her bed unable to dwell or look at it for much longer.

It was much harder than she had thought you know? She had read about it in books and plenty of novels but, even the best of authors couldn't properly describe it. Of course there was a word for it, but after being exposed to the fake, surface level society that was her town it had in the process lost its meaning, though if you contemplate and think about the word you will find that it does describe many of the complicated emotions and feelings she was going through. heartache.

Suddenly interrupting her train of thought, the phone rang, it had been doing that all night. The first couple times she had answered it she was only met with the voice that she was once thrilled to hear, Nancy, babbling on about how sorry she was through a obviously tear stricken voice.
After while of the calls she had simply stopped answering them, it hurt too much to face that voice.

Robin's mind was not one you would want to be in after a devastating breakup, of course Robin was known for having a particular busy mind that she often voiced through her never ending ramblings, so it would be expected that she would have a certain tolerance to it by now, but even for her, right now, being alone with her thoughts was suffocating. It felt like hands that belonged to her but couldn't control were wrapped around her throat, growing tighter and tighter to the point where tears started to well in her eyes.

In spite of all the voice in her head telling her not to, she picked up the phone holding it close to her ear. "Robs?" 
Fucking hell.
Though at least a million scenarios flew through her head all which didn't end well, she decided to engage in the conversation anyway.
"What, Nancy? What could you possibly say to make this better?".

She didn't care that she was being mean, she didn't care that it hurt Nancy's feelings, in fact, she hoped it hurt.
She hope it stung.
She hoped whatever pain she inflicted on Nancy was at least half the pain she was feeling right now, because that was a damn big amount.

"Please, it was a accident, I- I didn't- I wouldn't..."

Of course, the same fucking excuse. Every time.

" tell me Nancy, how exactly was it an accident? Did u accidentally fall over and kiss him? Or maybe you accidentally thought he was me? Because of course we look so much alike."

Once again she was met with the same blank silence that seemed to surround all of their latest arguments.
Sick of the call already she put the phone down and collapsed back onto her bed a twinge of guilt scratching and irritating her like the tag on a sweater.

Unable to bear the deafening silence that encased her room and mind, she picked up the phone again this time dialling Steve's number.
After a couple of rings he picked up breathing heavily into the phone, "hello?" He spoke, "hey Steve.." Robin replied letting a tired breath out. "Robin?...Are you ok?" Obviously sensing the thick tone in the air even through the phone.

Steve had been Robin's best friend for long enough to be able to deduce when she was off.

Robin often hid her emotions, partly because she felt like a burden, and partly because the thought of someone pitying her made her almost sick to her stomach.

No one would help anyway.

Though, over the years she had grown to learn that it was no use hiding it from Steve, since he always managed to find out, Steve was a douchebag but a smart one when it came to navigating the twisted emotions of Robin Buckley, nonetheless Robin found that seeking comfort actually helped ease the weight.

She let out a sigh before replying breathlessly,
"...no." And another deep breath was taken while she fiddled with the cold rings on her fingers, "can you.... Come over? Please?" She finished.

She needed someone.

"I'll be over in 10."

Thank god.

Ok I think this is the most well written chapter yet, but i do go on a bit of a tangent in paragraph 5 but 🤷‍♀️ what do you guys think?