Robin x Nancy // maybe we aren't that different

Chapter 34: back into it

She never really thought she would be here, it was uncharted territory, new rules, new conditions and it seems she was solely unprepared for it.

These new rules meant new feelings, new behaviours. It meant she had to pretend. She had to pretend not to know how to read every inch of Nancy's body language, every crease in Nancy's smile, how to treat every problem with comfort, or silence, or a long embrace.

Start over, fresh. In a universe they were just friends.

She didn't know exactly how to feel, the anger, loathing and hatred had subsided a long time ago or maybe it was never truly there. She had felt grievous, disappointed maybe even a little jealous, but Nancy was doing her best, working her way— bit by bit, back into her life. She recognised it, she appreciated it.

* * * *

It was truly amazing, how warm and easy and natural Robin looks on the couch, framed in the clean beams through the screen of the television. It was scary how much she looked as though she belonged, so in-place, so right.

Robin wasn't meant to sleep over. Robin wasn't meant to really even get this close. But it happens. maybe it was the movie, maybe it was the snacks, maybe it was the warm blanket combined with a snug couch, or maybe,— maybe it was the company, the knowledge of someone else there, someone else's body heat, soft breathing.

Nonetheless it happened, Nancy realised in horror. She wasn't meant to let it get out of hand.
Strict rules and distance strict rules and distance, strict rules and...

The panic stemmed from her inability to manage to keep her hands to herself. It was truly silly, and so immature, but when they would sit on the couch in close proximity to each other like they had started to do more and more often, Nancy found it was helpful to have something in her hand, something to grip when the conversation got just a tad bit comfortable, slipping into territory too dangerous for them.

This was good. This relationship, it was good, it was fine. She didn't have to worry the way she would for a different kind of relationship, she was beginning to see that now. Sure she didn't have to worry, doesn't mean she didn't. She was constantly worrying. Not like she would have before—, like, if she was kissing her right or what kind of birthday present to get her. No, now she worrying differently, she worried about her part in Robin's seemingly simple life, she worried Robin would find someone else, someone better than her,— or worse, she worried Robin would never find anyone because of her, because of how she was incapable of letting go, because of how she single-handedly wrecked it all.

Feelings bungled up and collected like dust in the back of her mind, trying to be forgotten. One of the pathways where inevitable and she had to make sure it was the right one.

* * * *

"What about that one?" Steve is going to drive her mad if he didn't stop this, she was pretty sure he had pointed to every single girl that had entered the store assessing each one as a possibility that they would be right for Robin.

No one could seem to get it in their heads that Robin didn't want to do this.

After the breakup Steve had been anything but unhelpful, he was there for her, thank god, and overall wonderful,— she should be grateful, she could sense he was trying— amazingly hard, all things considered, and really, he wasn't doing so bad. All the girls looked pretty, nice smiles, kind eyes, but right now she just wished he would give it a rest.

"She's alright..." Robin says frowning dumbly.

"That's all???"

"I don't know!" Her voice a tad too loud for the slow music inside to overpower. "I just don't want to do this anymore",
"You do know you can never actually start dating if you don't try"

He has so much advice, too much maybe.

"I'm just need time." Cautiously avoiding eye contact, staring at the soda stained floor.
"It's been time, it's been months Robin."
"More time" She corrected.

'More time' had proven to be,—surprisingly, only a week.

Vickie. Just another person to avoid. They hadn't really spoke after the party, after the kiss.
Robin knew it was cruel, unfair and frankly quite rude of her, but she didn't have anything to say, Until—, that is, when the two bumped into each other while she was working.

She had begged Steve to take over, he had just gone on break and was about as flexible as metal pole when it came to his schedule. So, reluctantly, she was faced with the challenge of working around this. She kept her head down, busied herself, and didn't draw to much attention to whatever she was doing.

The inevitable moment came when Vickie had (after way to long might I add) picked out whatever particular movie she had and was approaching the front counter.

Deep breaths

"Robin" Vickie nodded.
"Hey Vickie" Robin replied, plastering a smile much too big for the situation over her awkward gestures.

Maybe it was something about her body language than led to this conclusion, maybe her tone of voice, maybe her sly grin, or maybe it was Vickie being utterly delusional. Can't be that delusional, you said yes didn't you?

"Robin," she says again this time speaking something totally different. "Do you want to go on a date with me?" She sounded confident but the panicked look in her eyes told a different story. 

What was she supposed to say.

If she said no she would have to tell Steve and Nancy, if she said yes, she would have to tell Steve and Nancy, both sides had their share of flaws.

Pausing longer than common courtesy she realised with a jolt, need to answer.

"Yes?"