Robin x Nancy // maybe we aren't that different

Chapter 25: changing lens

She had cried the whole way home.

Her heart was shattered in what seemed to be at least a thousand pieces, in arms that where desperately trying to put it back together, but only faced with more dismal disappointment.

It felt like she was drowning in a pool of her own tears, her vision blurry and muffled, her lips trembling and torn from her teeth that ruthlessly bit away at them.

She walked in, chucking the keys on the desk next to the door, making sure to keep her head down as to not attract any unwanted attention whilst walking upstairs, just to lock herself away in her room to mourn.

She mourned.
Not the death of a living thing, but rather, the death of a love, Which in its own way, I suppose is living in itself.

It lived inside her, in her heart and in her bones.
And even know she didn't quite know it yet, it lived inside Robin as well.

The overwhelming guilt chipped away and she found herself ringing Robin's house constantly in a desperate attempt to apologise and redeem herself.

Sharp blades of sorrow mixed with torment struck her heart at the thought of Robin all alone, in tears and pain. The worst part of it all was that it was her who had brought those those feelings, it was her who had hurt Robin, her best friend and the one she had loved possibly the most at that moment.
The only thing she wished to do was hug her, comfort her, hold her tight. She wanted to believe that the love she felt for the girl would be enough to conquer the painful argument, but her faith was dwindling with every dial of the telephone.

At a point she couldn't seem to remember, she feel asleep, clutching the phone in her hand, still dressed in the same clothes she wore that day, her eyes closed—not peacefully, but in pain, in fear, and in misery.

The night of sleep in question was not a pleasant one, the agony of it all made her wonder why she ever slept in the first place, Robin's tearful face seemed to appear over and over again like a re-occurring nightmare, her face always full of hatred and hurt.

she awoke, her eyes dull and bagged, her limbs too tired to move and her mind instantly reminded of the unfortunate ending to her night.
Even though she had tired from the countless calls she had made, she had to try again.

One more time. One more chance.

Her heartbeat was in her ears as she counted the dials awaiting a response.
The crackling on the other end indicated that someone had picked up, finally.

Taking a deep breath she started speaking, "Robs?"

"What, Nancy? What could you possibly say to make this better?"

There it was. The harsh tone made her flinch through the phone.

In all honesty Nancy hadn't particularly thought about what she was going to say after Robin picked up the phone, she had never gotten this far.

"Please, it was an accident, I-I didn't- I wouldn't..."

Fuck fuck fuck.
What am I saying???

Nancy could tell Robin's patience was dwindling, she  knew the girl too well at this point, yet, she didn't have a clue what to say to make this all better.

Her heart was fragile. She knew that, Robin knew that. Even now, before Robin had spoke, she could feel that cracks appearing at the seams.

"tell me Nancy, how exactly was it an accident? Did u accidentally fall over and kiss him? Or maybe you accidentally thought he was me? Because of course we look so much alike."

Ouch. That was harsh.

Too stunned to speak, Nancy could only gape at the words that had poisoned her ears.

She knew she had hurt Robin, she had hurt herself too, and she knew Robin had every right to be mad, furious even, but still, the knowing never seemed to manage to blunten the sharp blade of the words and she found herself having the wind knocked out of her again and again.

She must've been a thinking too long because she was greeted with the cold tone of the phone hanging up leaving her to rest with the words that clung to her like magnets.

Even through all the pain that had filled her emotions with sorrow and hurt she knew she felt another emotion, A different emotion, a stronger emotion, anger.
Anger towards Johnathan, anger towards his actions, how he manipulated her, how he hurt her, how he had messed up everything. Blinded with rage and pain Nancy picked up the phone again.

Lucky for her Johnathan answered, "hello? Johnathan speaking" "fuck you." She retorted, not wanting to hear his answer she quickly put the phone down slowly panicking.

She felt trapped. Her average sized room only seemed to be getting smaller, closing down around her, trapping her in.

She had to get out or do something, anything to take her mind off everything.

Fuck it.

"Hey, um, Eddie?"
"Nancy? What can I do for you?"
"Uhh- do you think you can get me some weed possibly? I don't know, I just heard your the guy to talk to"

She could practically feel the sly smirk he was giving through the telephone line.

"Wheeler, wheeler, wheeler, I never expected this call"
"Yeah well, I just need to take my mind of something"
"Ok ok ok, I can hook you up, do you want to come get it today?"
"Uh- yes if that's not too much trouble."
"Sure, see you soon cupcake."

She didn't bother changing or fixing her tear streaked makeup, she simply wiped it off of paced out the door grabbing her keys on the way out.

Is this a good idea?