Robin x Nancy // maybe we aren't that different

Chapter 33: just the way you are

She had expected the transition to be less than easy, she had expected the light jealousy, what she hadn't expected was every night to be littered with dreams of Robin kissing her through a grin --Robin clutching her tie-- Robin's smile the cleanest, brightest kind of light. It was meant to be difficult; it wasn't meant to feel like someone slicing down to the bone every time she looks at her, eyes filled with regret.

Nonetheless she pushed on, after a while a break through, finally, and Robin was getting invited to hers all over again. It was good, and familiar.

"Okay, but..." Robin said leaning forward on the kitchen bench, hands clutched together, "how would you propose I do that? The 'get back out there' part I mean."

This however was not as familiar.

Despite the the fact that the thought of Robin going out with someone that wasn't her made her physically sick, it was the right thing.
Every time Robin looked at her, with the familiar brightening of eyes and brilliant twist of her lips, this is the right thing, she would remind herself coldly.
So, she had been open to it, an encouraging friend masking her jealousy in a sea of overwhelming advice. "How about that girl you where with at the party? What was her name?" She asked, back strategically facing Robin as to hide her gritted teeth. Her name is Vickie, you know her name, you  knew it and still asked.

"Uhh— Vickie?" Robin replied , whether she caught on or not it was unsure.
"Yeah, What about her? I mean she seemed pretty into you at the time",  Her voice, miraculously, does not tremble, though her hands are curled up in fists, teeth clenched, lips pulled together in a tight purse.

On the contrary, Robin, quite casually, shrugs, eyebrows relaxing. "I don't know... I mean the last time we talked I ran away from her, not sure if that's the best look I want for a second 'date' "she says, frowning, fingers mimicking quotation marks to better prove her point.

Nancy wonders if this is what going mad feels like.

"Just ask, no harm in that. And you never know, what if she's really into the 'hard to get' type" Nancy, now facing Robin, says, fighting down a laugh keeping it at a subtle grin.

Robin, thankfully, is laughing now, and that is the moment, more than ever, that makes her appreciate this. Thank god they can still do this. Thank god they can talk like they used too, like everything is fine, like this fake reality will never be interrupted, like Nancy's heart was not bursting out of her chest just thinking about it.

"Easier said than done" Robin hummed absentmindedly, like this isn't bothering her at all. Like getting dating advice from her ex isn't the strangest thing, like it isn't driving her crazy just being here. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it's truly one sided. Maybe she'll never love Nancy in that way again, but, maybe, just maybe it's worth a try.

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"How do you do it?" Robin is gazing at her, lips parted, and Nancy thinks, Maybe this was all easier said than done. Maybe this was all very, very stupid, and maybe she couldn't handle this after all. Robin's hand carelessly resting on her knee, the two of them now on the couch, Robin's knee pressing into her was just all too much of what she could handle.

"Do what?" She replied, fighting the urges.
Robin shrugs. "Make people like you", she paused, frowned. " I mean, you have friends— more than two at least, and — don't get me wrong I love Steve, he's great and really I wouldn't trade that in for anybody else but, you have this way of just being, that, that— makes people like you, is it your hair? Your face? Or just general personality? I- I mean, what do I have to change?"

All she could do was sit there and listen to Robin talk. While whispers of conversation slivered through. Robin, suddenly talking about hair and faces? And, change? Who could ever want to change anything about Robin? And her hair was perfect, a ruffled bob, bangs perfectly grown out, complimenting her in the best way possible, the browny-blonde colour bringing out the features of her face, her face. Her wondrous face spoke for its self, it needn't be changed either, a smile that could brighten the sky, dimples poked on her cheeks, the tell tale sign she was about to laugh,-- her laugh, she swore it could cure, all tied together with freckles sprinkled on top like confetti.

Snapping out of her Robin-induced trance, "Change? Why on earth would u want to change?" she says, dragging her mind away from these thoughts with concerning difficulty. She would have added a 'i think ur perfect the way you are' but that felt a little too forward for this delicately crafted relationship.
"And besides, people like you too" she settled on instead.

A huff was let out from Robin's lips, those perfect li-
No, not that again, she needed to concentrate.

"Not really" Robin said slowly, "they like you, they tolerate me."

Nancy wondered what kind of horrid person had made Robin ever feel that way, she also wondered if somehow she could get their names and address,— and maybe another gun.
How could a person possibly dislike Robin? How could a person not want Robin?
Trust her to know what life without Robin was like, a hell of a lot worse than life with her, she knew that. And that's why this was so important, that was why she would endure the bad parts so she could treasure the good. she had to try her best to preserve this relationship, bottle it up and keep it forever.

"Then they are missing out." Turning her head to make eye contact only to be greeted by those big blues she could never manage to turn away from. " And really, I don't have as many friends as you would think."

They sat with that for a minute, not an awkward minute, just simply a minute with no talking, just understanding each other through their gazes. It all felt familiar, too familiar.
It's honestly the most frightening thing about her, how well she just managed to get Nancy. Like she understood without needing a word to be said. It was hard to be misunderstood, feeling like nobody could relate or understand what you were going through, but sometimes, she felt as if being understood may be the most frightening thing. Because she understood whether Nancy wanted her too or not.