BALANCE || Hyunlix

Chapter 21 - A gift from Chan

Christmas in Australia wasn't exactly a traditional picture for the rest of the world. It was summer weather outside, you were wearing dresses or shorts instead of warm pajamas and fuzzy socks, and in addition to Christmas Eve dinner, you enjoyed good food on Christmas Day in the form of hot and cold dishes, because who wants to eat roast turkey when it's hot outside, right?

Felix was enjoying his pudding and absentmindedly watched his sisters unwrap their presents. It seemed to him that he was eating all the time, but even so, he couldn't fill the hole in his chest that he felt after his last conversation with Hyunjin. It's been different since then. Their conversations were shorter, colder and about nothing. Did he screw up? Was it too much? Was Hyunjin just pranking him to check if Felix is gay and when he gets back to Korea the whole school will know? No, he liked it too. The silver-haired boy was having a hard time.

"Hey Lix! What do you think?" His older sister Rachel waved her hand in front of him, breaking him out of his thoughts. She was showing him her hideous Christmas sweater that Olivia had bought her as a joke.

"Horrible." He confirmed to his older sister.

"See? I told you! What kind of younger sister are you? Giving your unnie something like that." Rachel complained, pointing at the cheesy snowmen family on her chest, but she couldn't help but smile when she saw Olivia laughing at her.

"Now it's your turn, Lixie." The younger sister addressed him amid laughter, handing him another present from under the Christmas tree.

"Huh?" Felix asked as he was lost in his thoughts again.

"What's the matter with you Felix? This is the third time we've required your attention on Christmas Day." The only other male voice in the household – his father's – asked him.

"That's probably because he doesn't have his phone with him and can't text his boyfriend," Rachel stated knowingly before Felix could reply.

"Hey! That has nothing to do with it! And I don't have a boyfriend!" Felix defended himself, but his face was getting red. Although his family knew about his orientation and accepted it, it was still humiliating for him to talk about boys in front of his dad.

"Stop arguing for a while before you make my head explode." Their mom begged desperately, who may have gone a bit overboard with the eggnog yesterday. Everyone stopped being so loud and continued happily unwrapping the presents. Felix was happy that everyone liked the gifts he had chosen for them, but of course he was also happy for his own - new sneakers, watch, a steam gift card and many other things.

Even so, Hyunjin's sudden aloofness continued to bother him in the back of his mind.

***

They could only dream of summer weather in Seoul. The temperature was below freezing, and snow was falling on the city outside as families gathered on Christmas Day to share bulgogi and other classic dishes. Hyunjin was still sitting at the dining table with his parents and even his grandma and grandpa who had visited on the festive day and he was as absent minded as the silver haired boy from Sydney.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the holidays?" Grandpa asked him, patting him on the shoulder.

"Well, not quite." He smiled uncertainly at him.

"You should plan something, maybe with friends! Or with a girlfriend?" His grandmother continued, her eyes sparkling with hope for her great-grandchildren.

Hyunjin felt an anxious feeling spread throughout his chest at that question. He had never paid attention to it, but when it came to the subject, he thought that he simply hadn't been interested in any girl enough to approach her yet. In fact, he wasn't even interested in any romantic relationships, he lived for dancing, his career, and that was it. Until he met Felix. Only now was he beginning to realize that the strange feeling he sometimes felt in his presence was lust. It was confirmed to him that evening, when he washed his own semen off his hands in the bathroom and tears welled up in his eyes. This is what Felix did to him. Felix is a boy. Does this mean Hyunjin is gay?