BALANCE || Hyunlix

Chapter 43 - Selfish

Hyunjin felt like every second dragged on for hours. It was strange how slowly time suddenly passed for him when he was struggling. It had been several days since the fight with Felix, their breakup, and the moment he last saw him. He didn't believe the nonsense that time heals everything, because for now the pain in his heart felt just as strong. He was still tired, had no appetite and his eyes were still swollen from crying himself to sleep. As if his whole body decided to stop working. It was all the worse for him when he had to overcome himself and attend training sessions regularly. The final show was already a week away, and so far it seemed to him that everything was one big mess.

Minho couldn't help him as often due to the intensity of his studies, and as if that wasn't enough, Jae strained her calf muscle at the last practice. His biggest helpers were now out of the game, and he was also worried that part of the show would be ruined due to Jae's injury.

He was on his own.

He knew he couldn't go on like this, and yet he had to force himself to go to another mass training session today. At first, everything was normal, basically just fine-tuning the details to make all the performances perfect. But when it came time for the final group choreography with all the grades, something was wrong.

For the first few moments, Hyunjin danced exactly according to the choreography, while trying to watch everyone as a whole in the mirror. But suddenly he felt his legs getting heavy, he was running out of breath quickly and his head was spinning. He tried to ignore it and keep dancing, but he couldn't. It didn't work. As if he was no longer in control. And before he could say anything or react, there was darkness before his eyes.

"Hyunjin? Hyunjin!" His classmates called out to him when they noticed that the blond had stopped dancing and was falling to the ground.

Everyone immediately gathered around him, a few girls from the first year started screaming for help in panic, and one boy from the fourth year immediately ran to the lying Hyunjin. He first tried to talk to him, to see if he reacts, he checked his breathing, then grabbed his legs and lifted them into the air while ordering the girl next to him to open the windows and fetch water.

Hyunjin woke up within a few seconds and lay there for a while, watching the frightened eyes of the others. What just happened?

"Hyunjin, you passed out." The guy who gave him first aid informed him.

Hyunjin didn't answer him, he didn't have the strength to. He felt terribly weak. He could only manage to take a few sips of water.

"T-Thank you." He finally let out a breath towards the boy.

"It's okay, but... you should rest for today. Or go to the doctor." He lectured him.

"Yeah... We'll end the training." He nodded and got back on his feet with the help of a few of his classmates.

He felt terrible, his body was definitely telling him that it wanted to rest. He grabbed his gym bag and headed back to the dorm with his head down.

With trembling hands, he unlocked the door to his room and as he passed the mirror, he was startled at how pale he was. He didn't look healthy at all. He dropped the bag next to his bed, where he immediately lay down and covered his tired eyes with his hand.

He can never do this alone. This was a clear signal. If he's in this condition, he can't continue training, let alone perform. This fact weighed on him more and more each day, as he realized that there was only one solution.

He must try to ask Felix for help.

***

Felix stayed at Chan's and Changbin on their couch since the breakup, and aside from crying every night, he still held a terrible grudge against Hyunjin for not even fighting for the relationship. Felix slowly convinced himself that he was the one who fully committed and gave the relationship his all, while Hyunjin never really cared how it turned out. The fact that he hadn't been able to apologize Felix, despite the fact that it was all his fault, was the proof. He didn't even want to see him. He kept faking illness at school. Of course, he didn't avoid the pile of homework that the teachers sent him. At first, he was glad that he would finally have something that would make him focus on something other than the fact that the person closest to him had left his life and there was only an empty place left behind that he couldn't fill with anything, but now it only added to his bad mood.