going home

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"-yeah and then my mum left my dad for y/ns who seems a lot nicer" i walked in mattie talking to the adults shit what has he said. and if my dads a lot nicer how bad was his. i noticed scarlett's youngest asleep and that made me realise it's also passed mattie's bedtime.

"h-hey sorry to interrupt dads just got home, we gotta go" i said holding my bag by the handle. lizzie nods getting up to show us out as i put a hand on the back of mattie's shoulder guiding him out.

"your always welcome here if you get locked out again, or just need a change of scenery" lizzie smiled a hand on my shoulder.

"thank you lizzie" i smiled before walking across the street in to the cold wind. "so what we're u guys talking about" i asked the boy.

"they were just asking questions about me and stuff" he shrugged as i let us in the finally unlocked door. the second we walked into the house there was a glum aura to it. my father sat leaning against the back of the couch his hands resting beside him. my new step mother looked at me with fake happiness to see me almost disgust. then i saw it.

there was a role of cash in his hand. my roll of cash. anything from birthdays christmas any money i was given that i could save was in this. roll. "i thought i taught you to share in this house. i provide a roof over your head food in your stomach and all you do is hide money what did you take this from me aswell"

you see growing up in a house hold like this you begin to notice someone's tells and the little things. the dint between his pointer and middle finger indicate he had picked up smoking again. the slight dilation of his pupils tell me he is either high or drunk. the scum around his shoes say he hasn't been in a cleaner pub rather one with alcohol spills on the floor and people throwing up. 

"i expect you to answer me amber" he leant of the couch now coming to stand in front of me. amber was my mothers name.

'it's my money dad"-"you don't have a job" he was quick to add. i sighed shakily passing my bag to mattie who was still standing there.

"go to my room it has a lock can you wait in there for me" i asked not knowing where this was going. he nodded and after i heard the door close i went back to look at my father. "what do you want me to say to you" i shrugged.

"your gonna admit you're a liar, admit you stole from me then be a good girl and go get me a beer from the fridge"

"i didnt steal from you" i went to grab the money out of his hand but he pulled it away firmly grabbing my wrist with his large hand. it burned i know it was going to bruise.

"say that one more time bitch" he now towered over me a tight grip on my arm. i need the money back. when i didnt answer he slapped me across the face my head flinging to the side. " is that what i have to do, hit you to get a reaction. cause nothing else is bloody working" (bringing back childhood trauma) he said raising the back of his hand up.

"for the last time dad i didn't steal from you" i looked him in the eyes.

"oh so thats it im a horrible father, my daughter steals and lies to her parents, okay" he said i think sarcastically. "honey, do you think im a horrible father" he then asked my step mum i just realised was still in the room.

"oh no dear, teenagers are just over spoilt brats" she defends. my dad yanks my arm. closer to him after i tried to create distance. i swear my arms dislocated. my dads a strong man. he's at least 6ft and muscular he's a tradie after all but i dont think he realises how strong he is sometimes.

"i agree, give me you phone" drops my wrist and holds his hand out. my phone was back with my bag and i cant go all the way to the back of the house where mattie is for that.

"i need it for safety, give me my money" i said taking a step back now that i can. that just lit a fuse in my father somehow. he grabbed my by the neck pushing me against the wall. what the fuck. he's never been this violent. my back hurt from the effects of getting thrown off a bridge.

"YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE WHAT YOU NEED. I DO I AM YOUR FATHER AND YOU WILL RESPECT ME" he said removing the hand from my neck. i stood there shocked and frozen,

"go" he said without hesitation i leave rushing to my room. using the pin on the top of the door frame to unlock the door. i walked in closing the door and locking it again.

"are you okay?"mattie asked i nodded going over to my mirror to see if there was any marks on my neck. there wasn't really just some red marks. my arm however was bruised as well has my cheekbone. i took a deep breath going to join mattie on my bed.

"if my father is ever like this when im not home come i here lock the door and hide in my closet okay. there's a space in the back specifically for it okay" i told the boy pointing to it.he nodded holding onto one of the stuffed animals i had on my bed. " go to sleep mattie, its way past your bed time" i said noticing it was closer to 1030pm

" can i stay here"  he asked. i nodded and he curled up on my bed going to sleep. i got up turning the main light off and going over to my desk turning the warm lamp on and grabbing my stuff to fix my art. i put my earphones in playing some music.

i didnt even notice the time going past before i knew it i could hear birds outside. fuck. i still had one more to go so ill finish that then sleep.

i in fact did not sleep it's now 630 and everyone's waking up for the day. "did you sleep" mattie asked turning his head. i shook my head. " why not"

"got distracted. now why dont you get ready for school do you take the bus or"

a/n
my laptop broke.
now we got my ipad. and some cheap ass bluetooth keyboard

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