two doors down

bad good different

tw vomiting

after everyone had ordered my grandparents instantly start talking about their most recent trip around south east asia. i tried to engage and listen as much as i could but i was starting to get dizzy again and my ears were ringing. i leaned back in my chair subtly trying to take deep breaths again. 

i start panicking when i realise the feelings not going away. "y/n dear are you okay you look like youve seen a ghost" my nan said putting her cold hands on my own. 

"y-yeah im just going to go to the toilet quickly" i excused myself and rushed to the toilet as fast as i could. and fell to the floor as soon as i got in there. a public bathroom floor really disgusts me but couldnt get up even if i wanted too. i pulled myself up to lean against the wall taking deep breaths again as thats all i knew to do. 

i should probably call monica and see what she would do but that would just worry her. i feel nauseous all of a sudden and jump up to the nearest stall. i threw up all that was in me and wiped my mouth with toilet paper. i couldnt help but let a tear fall from my eye. i hated it all. 

"Hey you okay in there" i hear a kind voice ask from the other side of the stall. shit. i flush the toilet using the toilet paper holder to help me stand up before opening the door and walking out. "y/n? oh god, whats happened" it was lizzie. why is she here. i mean this town has like 2 good restraunts and its a small town but come on. 

at first i thought i hadnt covered up the bruises and that well enough but when i looked in the mirror all seemed covered. "lizzie hi, um yeah im okay" i answered unconvincingly. 

"sweetheart no one throws up over nothing, are you pregnant or something?" she cracks a joke and i laugh. me. pregnant? please. 

"definitely not" i smiled washing my hands in the sink. she didnt seem to want to drop the topic and seemed genuenly concerned for my physical health. i told her i must have eaten too much or something so she finally dropped the topic. i didnt want to say food poising as not to ruin her night and idea of this place. it is a really good restaurant after all. 

"okay well, i will see you tomorrow. make sure to do your homework" she pointed a finger at me with a smile. i nodded and i waited for her to leave before leaving aswell. 

i got back to the table and all eyes were on me. "quit your staring shes just making room for all this amazing food" my pop joked making everyone laugh especially mattie. 

thats when i noticed all the food had arrived and we all started eating. 

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the whole drive back home i couldnt stop overthinking that encounter with lizzie. it just kept replaying in my mind over and over. i hated it. however i was thankful for the fact i got to drive with my grandparents this time rather than my dad. 

mattie was also with me as he refused to leave my side so we were enjoying listening to my grandparents music on the car ride home. lean on me  starts to play and my pop starts to sing loudly. he was amazing.

 him and my nan actually met at a pub where his band was playing. they called themselves monkey business. they had caught eachothers eye or something than pop dedicated the next song to the "pretty lady in red" 

we got home and it was late so everyone was off to bed. my grandparents were sleeping in matties room as it was the guest bedroom before and it still had the double bed in it. so mattie was with me. not that that was different than usual tho. 

"y/n/n you have to go to sleep too" mattie informed me already in his bluey pjs sitting on his side of my bed. 

"later buddy, you go to sleep" i told him getting out my school books. 

for the next 3 hours i starred at my books in pure confusion. i didnt understand any of it. my grades had really been dropping lately and i dont know what i did wrong. i started to draw on my work in effort to be able to understand anything but it wasnt working. i cant focus when im at home. its all so stupid. 

i take my phonecase off and silently walk to the bathroom. 

time skip next morning. 

i woke up at around 4 just 2 hours after i had fallen asleep. i stared at the ceiling until it was 7 and the sun rose as did my family. i woke mattie and we went out the the kitchen. there for a nice change of scenery my dad was cooking breakfast. 

"there she is, how are you this morning sleeping beauty" his mood scared me. 

"good, tired" i answered not wanting to say too much. he nodded plating more food. 

"brekkies ready family" he calls out and everyone gathers at the dining table i dont think we ever sit at when they arent here. "eat up"

my nan and i clean up breakfast as everyone starts to head off to work or school. my grandparents were going to some exibit today so i was the last to leave the house. i would have ridden my bike if i wasnt so sore today. my whole body was in pain. and on top of that today was just a bad day and i dont know why. 

i walk in late and just go straight to class i didnt have the energy to walk all the way to the office then all the way back to class. luckily the teacher was also running behind so they were still marking the roll when i walked in.