Hurts so good

TWENTY-NINE|| AIDEN

"Hey, how'd it go?" Milo asks, grabbing a box of fruity pebbles from the cabinet and walking over to me.

"Fine. Where's Amaris?" I ask, unbuttoning my suit jacket and loosening my tie.

It's been a week since we've been back home. Amaris has been a little down since we came back. I wouldn't go as far as to say she's depressed but she's grieving. We've all been there for her as much as we can. The good thing about it is that she doesn't seem to want to be alone. We've all been sleeping together every night since we got back and we make sure that at least one of us is with her at all times.

This morning I had to go into HQ for a meeting but I rushed back as quickly as I could. The truth is, I've been taking it hard too. Being away from her, that is. I'm sure we all are. It's hard to be without her when we only just got her back.

"Still sleeping," Milo says, walking next to me.

"Is Cass with her?" I ask, heading towards Amaris's room.

"Always," Milo replies with a smile.

"Good," I say, opening her door once we finally reach it.

Cassius is talking to someone on the phone and standing by Amaris's floor-to-ceiling window. When we walk in, he turns and gives us a nod before continuing his conversation. I walk over to Amaris who's still in deep sleep and kiss her forehead.

"So?" Milo asks, dipping his hand into the cereal box and taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

I take off my jacket and place it on Amaris's nightstand before sitting on the bed next to her. "She wants to see her."

"No shit, sherlock. How badly? did she agree to let Amaris come see her on her own terms or is she being stubborn like she always is? does she want to see her badly enough to send guards here to get her? or badly enough to leave HQ and come here herself?" Milo asks, bringing a handful of pebbles up to his mouth.

"Why can't you just put some in a bowl and eat it like normal people?" I ask and Milo rolls his eyes.

"It's my cereal! I can eat it however I want!" Milo says a little too loudly and Amaris shifts. For a second I think she's going to wake but she just scoots closer to me. She places her head on my thigh and wraps her arms around me, holding on to it like a koala.

I look up and glare at milo who mouths "sorry".

I sigh and run my hands through Amaris's hair. "I don't know how bad Aunt Joyce wants to see her. I was in a meeting all morning. We didn't get a chance to talk."

"She wants to see her badly enough to come here herself," Cassius says, placing his phone in his pockets and walking over to us. He takes a seat on the other side of Amaris and furrows his brows." Why is she cuddling your thigh?"

"Milo almost woke her up. I suppose she grabbed my huge thigh for comfort." I say, smiling. "We all know I'm the biggest out of the three of us. Even in her sleep, she knows exactly who her daddy is."

Cassius scoffs and Milo laughs. I don't know what is so funny. It's true. Cassius is the tallest but when it comes down to the muscles, I'm a bit bigger than he is. Not that it's a competition. We all have something. Milo's the.... uh. Milo's the slowest, brain-power-wise.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm still the one she calls 'big guy'." Cassius says. "Now, like I was saying, Aunt Joyce wants to come over. That was her on the phone. She was mad that you didn't stop in to talk to her but mostly, she's impatient."

"She can't come here. It's not safe. For her or Amaris." Milo says with food in his mouth.

"Yeah, I talked her down but she's giving us until the end of today to bring Amaris in," Cassius says, rubbing Amaris's back. "You think she'll agree?"

I look down at the girl in question. "I don't know. She's still figuring out how to deal with pain on her own."

"Yeah, but it'll be good for her. She could even train for a bit. It'll be good for her to interact with people outside of just us three, Sam and Jerome." Milo says.

I'm about to tell him he's right when Amaris grips my thigh tighter. I look down at her and she's smiling. Smiling. For the first time in a while. I smile down at her but what she says next has me second-guessing if I'm even awake. "I'm in love with you."

I look up at Cassius and milo to make sure they're hearing what I'm hearing and they look just as shocked as I am. I look back down at her when she says it again. "I'm in love with you, all of you."

This time I touch her face. "Amaris? Princess are you awake." She smiles against my palm but I can tell that she's still asleep. Is she having a dream? even if it's a dream, she loves us. Right? she said so.

Before I have the chance to tell the others that she's probably just dreaming, she stirs again. this time her eyebrows are furrowed and she has a frown on her face. "Please don't hurt me. I love you," she whispers loud enough for us to hear.

It's not a dream. It's a nightmare.

Her breathing picks up and she holds me tighter. "I'm sorry. P-please stop. I love you. I'll be good, I promise."

"Amaris." I try to remove her arms from around me so that I can flip her onto her back but she's holding on tight and I don't want to hurt her. Cassius tries to shake her a little but she doesn't budge.

"Milo, crawl on top of her and hug her from the back. She wants a sense of security." I say to him and he does as he's told. He puts his face in the crook of her neck and her grip loosens. She melts back into his embrace and he rolls onto his back, taking her with him.

She's done that before but only once and only with me. She was having a nightmare and she gripped her pillow so tightly that I was worried that she may not be able to breathe. I hugged her from behind and she let go. I figured she just needed to feel safe.

Amaris stirs for the final time and her eyes fly open. She's still breathing heavily so I palm her face and force her to look at me. "It's okay, princess. You're okay. Just breathe." She does as she's told and steadies her breathing.

"you okay, bug?" Cassius asks and she nods slowly.

"I'm fine. I was just having a bad dream," she says, letting her head fall back onto milo's shoulder.

Cassius and Milo both look at me and I shake my head 'no'. Bringing up the fact that she told us she loved us in her sleep and the fact that we hurt her is just going to make her have to explain herself. She knows what her dream was and she'll tell us when she's ready. It would be selfish to push her for an answer when she's so clearly haunted by it.

Milo kisses her cheek. "Want to go train at HQ, love? your aunt wants to see you and we figured you could kill two birds with one stone."

Her face immediately brightens. "Really? you guys would really stop pestering me and let me train? with actual people?" she asks, sitting up on Milo's stomach. He, of course, is unfazed and is currently lifting her pajama top to scratch her back.

"Yes, bug. you can train." Cassius says, giving her a small smile and she looks at me.

I still think she shouldn't be sparring yet but keeping her caged will only make her feel isolated. We'll just have to keep an eye on her to make sure the reaper doesn't come out. 

"Anything you want, princess. Go get dress."