Hurts so good

CHAPTER ONE|| AMARIS

15 years ago
I'm sitting on my bed when my aunt Joyce walks in, "hey sweetie, can I talk to you?"

Aunt Joyce is my mom's sister, she has my mom's brown skin and curly hair. They could probably pass as twins if they wanted to.

"Sure" I sit up and dangle my legs over the edge of my bed.

"I'm about to tell you something and I need you to make sure you keep breathing for me okay?"

About a year ago I started having really bad panic attacks and sometimes I forget to breathe but my mom gives me a bag of candy every week I go without having a panic attack and that's all the incentive I need. "Okay auntie".

"Your mommy and daddy were in a car accident. I'm sorry sweetie but they aren't coming home" she says without looking me in the eye.

"Why? Are they in the hospital? Can I go see them?" I asked her, confused as to why she's not looking at me. Maybe she's just worried about mom and dad.

Aunt Joyce looks at me with tears in her eyes and says " no baby, they're not coming home because they're gone"

I've always been told that I'm smart for my age and it's both a blessing and a curse. When I see the pain in her eyes I know exactly what she means.

I lay back down and look up at the ceiling that has about a hundred glowing stars and a moon hanging in the middle and all I can do is remember when my parents and I decorated my room last Christmas while tears streamed down the sides of my face.

My aunt lays next to me but doesn't attempt to hug me, knowing I prefer to not be touched "it will be okay sweetie, we'll be okay" she says but she sound more like she's trying to convince herself. I reach over and touch her hand and we lay there for hours just looking up at the ceiling.
*****
The next day we arrive at my aunt's house with my bags dragging behind us. She opens the door for me and helps me inside. Her house is just as big as mine but she lives alone, no husband, no kids and no pets. She always said I was like a daughter to her and that she didn't need anyone else when I asked her if she ever wanted to have kids of her own.

I walk into the house and follow her to the room I used to stay in when we came to visit and immediately got in the bed, wanting to just bury myself in pillows and dream so I could see my parents again.

"You haven't said anything since last night, are you okay sweetie?"

I nod my head not having the energy to form words.

She gave me a tight-lipped smile "okay, some people are coming over for dinner tonight okay?"

I nod and she gave me air kisses before leaving me to nap.
*****
I wake up to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I get up to open it only to find three someones, three boys with flowers in their hands.

"My mom said you're sad so we brought you these. My name is Cassius" the first boy says smiling, he has black hair and pretty gray eyes. "This is Aiden" he points to the other black haired boy with pretty brown eyes "and this is milo", the third boy with brown hair and green eyes waves at me. I wave and take the flowers from them.

They follow me into my room without an invitation which I thought was rude but I don't have the energy to protest so I just put the flowers in an empty vase and sit back down on my bed.

"Do you want to play a game with us? Your aunt told us you don't want to talk right now so you can just nod or shake your head" Aiden says while giving me a sweet smile.

Milo comes up to me holding a notepad and pen in his hands "or you can write on this if you want" I smile and take it from him.

It's the first time I've ever seen them so I wrote a question on the notepad asking them how they know my aunt. Cassius tells me that his mom and my aunt recently became friends and that they usually have weekly dinners but if that were the case we would have already met. I held my curiosity in and nodded.

"Do you want to be our friend?" Milo and Aiden says with hope in their eyes.

"Yeah we can be your friend! We'll protect you and make you laugh" Cassius says and I can't help but smile.

"I can protect myself."