Hurts so good

CHAPTER NINETEEN|| AMARIS

"Hey, pumpkin."

My father walks up to me and I look up at him in disbelief. "You're alive." 

"I'm alive." He says, caressing my face.

"Is mom?" I say, looking around the room.

"No sweetheart. Mom is gone." He says, with a confused expression.

My eyes prickle and I can't keep the tears from falling. I take a deep breath and exhale, trying to compose myself. "Dad, what's going on? How are you alive and why are you working with the Japanese?"

He looks at me with a confused expression again before looking over to the boys.

I watch the exchange. "What the hell is going on."

My dad takes a deep breath and pulls up a chair in front of me to sit. "Okay here goes." He says. He intertwines his fingers on his lap and leans forward. "I've always worked for the Japanese. Your mother was my assignment. She was ruthless and brilliant. She was also on track to becoming the yakuza's biggest competitor. I was supposed to find out as much about her as I could. After a while, I fell in love with her and we had you. When you were five, I got orders to turn her or kill her. I tried my best to make her join us but your mother was stubborn. She couldn't get over the betrayal and she didn't want to work for us so... so I had to kill her." He says and my world shatters.

I blink and shake my head trying to comprehend what he just said. "You- you killed my mother?" I ask and it comes out strangled.

"Yes." He says and lowers his head.

In a matter of minutes, I've felt my relief turn to pain and my pain turn to burning hot rage. "I'm going to kill you for that." I say, looking up at him with tears dripping down my face.

He lifts his head and looks at me. "I'm sorry Amaris. I really did love her and for whatever it's worth, I love you too. The organization was supposed to die with your mother. Don't let her death mean nothing. Tell them what they want to know." He says, wiping my cheek and I pull my face away.

He sighs and gets up before walking to the door. "Make sure she gives up the location of their headquarters. Do whatever you have to."

The door closes behind him and I drop my head, crying 15 years worth of pain. This must be what it feels like to be broken by the person you loved the most.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Sam says.

I close my eyes and go to my safe place. The grim reaper approaches me and cups my face "Okay that's enough of that. You've got killing to do. Use the pain." she says, squeezing my jaw. I inhale and exhale, bringing out the entity from within me. My face hardens and the rest of my heart turns to ice.

I lift my head and open my eyes to look at Sam who's now standing in front of me with tissues. "Thank you for showing me the truth Sam. I appreciate it." I say smiling at him.

I dislocate my thumb to slither my hands out of the chains and grab the gun strapped to Sam's waist. I hit Sam in the face with the back of his gun and he stumbles back. I quickly shoot the men holding the guns to the boy's heads before shooting the chains around them. An alarm goes off and I use the remaining bullets to shoot the chains around my ankles.

"Dammit! Can you please stop breaking my nose?" Sam says, trying to stop the blood pouring out of his nose. He looks at me and nods. "So you're actually Amaris Ambrose."

I point the gun at Sam and he raises his hands in defense. "Don't. I can help you."

"You'd betray your boss?" I ask, tilting my head.