Monokuma: Hi, adults! I've called you all here because your kids? Yeah, they suck!
All adults: (talking at once)
Monokuma: They smell, they're disgusting, they're all brats!
Eggman: Ok, (stands up) Their kids, maybe. But my oldest son's an angel.
Monokuma: Yeah, er, Menace?
Eggman: Metal.
Monokuma: Yeah, he's what we call a "teacher's pet."
Eggman: What's wrong with that? He's a good student.
Monokuma: EVERYTHING! He's a know-it-all! Sigh, this is what happened.
*flashback*
Monokuma: (enters the classroom) Good morning, twerps!
Metal: Good morning, Mister Enoshima.
Monokuma: (happily) You sees that? All of you should behave good, like Michael. And—
Metal: Actually, it's how well I behave, and my name is actually Metal.
Monokuma: (sounding irritated) Ok, Mechanical, mister? Sh!
(Later)
Monokuma: Bla bla bla, boring history—
Metal: Sh. (Stands up) Actually, bla bla bla, correct history stuff, bla bla bla.
All: (applause)
Monokuma: (angrily) Ok, well, young robot, I'm the teacher—
Metal: (savagely) If you WERE the teacher, you would've known that.
All except Monokuma: OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!
*flashback concluded*
Eggman: (smartly) Well, Metal wasn't wrong.
Monokuma: You taught him everything, that's the problem. In fact, YOU! (Points at Knuckles) With the phone. Yeah, your kid...
*flashback*
Monokuma: Your homework is about, huh? (Sees Spirit is gone) Where's Spirit?
All: ...
Monokuma: Whoever tells me doesn't get punished for lying!
All except Emily: (point to the cupboard in the back)
Monokuma: (knocks on the cupboard) HEY, SPIRIT!I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!! (Opens the door and finds Spirit waking up) Ok, Sleeping Beauty. Your punishment is to write 'I must not fall asleep in lectures' 1000000 times, and you're not allowed to leave until you do!!
Spirit: (yawns) Yes, Mister Enoshima. (Walks to the board and only writes "I" before falling asleep again)
Monokuma: (irritated) Why I auda— (Sees the rest of his class asleep and bellows) IIIIIITTTTTTT'S PUNISHMENT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!
All: (wake up and scream)
*flashback concluded*
Monokuma: ...And then she fell asleep and they all just— (sees Knuckles had fallen asleep) Sir?! SIR!!
Knuckles: (wakes up) H-Huh?
Mobokuma: Who's dad are you?!
Knuckles: (sleepily) Spirit's.
Monokuma: (realises) Oh, now it makes sense.
Crimson and Auroro: (At the same time) What about my son?
Monokuma: Yeah, your sons, and they are?
Auroro: Caleb.
Crimson: Seth, with a PH.
Monokuma: Oh, right. That's an interesting one.
*flashback*
Monokuma: Bla bla bla, boring maths stuff, bla bla bla.
Caleb and Seph: (playing with Aria)
Seph: (suddenly stands up) Back off, she's mine!
Caleb: No, she's mine!!
All, including Monokuma: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Monokuma: (happily) I love a good love triangle.
*flashback concluded*
Monokuma: (happily) And they were all fighting over, actually, (points at Amy) You, your daughter.
Amy: (shrugs) Sounds about right. I taught my Aria well, after all.
Crimson: (sexily) So, I'm divorced.
Auroro: (calmly) Widowed.
Both: (start fighting)
Monokuma: (smiles) Oh, sweet, sweet despair.
*flashback*
Monokuma: (gets hit with a darkness ball and growls) EMILY!!!!!!!!
Emily: (Cooley) Mono-lose-a.
Monokuma: (darkly) Did you throw that at me?!
Emily: (nods) Uh huh.
Monokuma: Really. Well, you're coming with me. (Goes to grab her)
Emily: (hovers out of his reach) Oh, one thing first. (Sends a chaos spear ricocheting around the room)
Monokuma: (smirks) You missed.
Emily: (smirks back) Did I?
(The Chaos spear knocked over a bucket of water onto Monokuma's head and he short-circuits)
All: (cheering)
*flashback concluded*
Monokuma: ...Clearly, all your kids act like this because you're terrible influences on them, in fact, (points at Shadow) Your kid? That brat deserves to be locked up forever!!
Shadow: (smirks) I've got something for you. (Sends a chaos spear ricocheting around the room)
Monokuma: (smirks) You missed.
Shadow: (smirks back) Did I?
(The Chaos spear landed in Monokuma's chest and he blew up)
Amy: (To Shadow) Oh, not too bad.
Shadow: Thank you. (stands) I'm out. (Chaos controls away)
