Colors | TSV Brett × Reader

Twenty Nine

EDDY'S POV

TW: Death, traumatic events, abuse, attempted sewerslide (If you're sensitive, please do not read this chapter)

"I never hated you. Never in the million years." I spoke, "My dad... I was so scared of him. He was so controlling that it felt like I was his puppet. This has been going until now." I gulped and avoided Brett's eye contact. "I love your family so much, especially you and Brent—" "Then, what makes you think about doing these stupid shit? You're causing so much mess, Eddy."

I kept myself together, "You're not just ruining OUR lives, you know? You're ruining Y/N's as well." My fingers started to twitch, "I-I'm sorry. I know it's idiotic. It's just... Why can't I have something that you have? A loving family, the talent, a supportive brother?" "What do you mean?! We gave you everything! We even welcomed you as part of the family!"

"Aren't we enough?"

"Brett—"

"It's a yes or no question, Eddy. Are we not enough?"

"Yes, all of you. You are enough. But you don't understand what I went through, Brett. I'm envious of you. My dad is envious of you. And because of that, I... started to think very horrible things to defeat you." I explained honestly, I'm starting to get scared, "I was not aware that my dad is good at puppetry. So damn good that I want to be like him."

"I tried to control you, threaten you. But I can't. I grew to hate you even more, especially when I see you perform perfectly than me. And all I hear at home is chaos. The sharp sound of the plates and glass breaking against the walls, the snapping sound of my bow as my father shouted at me for not being good enough. I sometimes wish I were you for a moment, I also want to see him smile at me, I want to hear him say he's proud of me."

I stopped for a moment; all of the bad memories started to flash back as my lips quivered. "I tried to be like you but I failed. When I saw you getting a lot of praise, I was so angry that I want to cry in front of thousands of people. Back then, I used to wonder if I lack something. Everyday, I hear my dad shouting at me to practice one of the hardest violin pieces as my warm-ups. As days passed, I get angrier to myself because I am not gifted like you."

I glanced at Brett, his whole face now relaxed, "That's why I stopped going out with you and Brent. My anger and hate started to overflow. My dad told me to stay away from you and your family. He told me to hate you, he fabricated stories about you and your family. I was 12 when he ruined my demeanor." 

Brett's eyes were tearing up, I always hated to see him cry but I kept myself together, "That one night. What happened?" Brett's voice cracked. I was unsure if I'll tell everything about that one specific night. His brother's demise. "I-I can't tell you this, Brett. I don't want to mention it again." I shook my head as a single tear fell from my eye.

"Please. Just tell me what happened." He leaned forward to the window.

"It was after the competition, my dad and I were arguing inside the car. The heavy rain can't even overlap the sound of our voices yelling out our anger to each other. He was so angry he pushed me out of the car." My eyes welled up, "When I stood up from the wet ground. I saw bright headlights coming towards me. I honestly thought that'll be the last thing I'll see. I would be so happy if I were dead at that time."

"I just closed my eyes and waited for the car to hit me. But it didn't happen. Instead, I heard a loud smash coming from the bottom of the cliff. That's when my heart dropped. I stood up from the ground and followed the tire tracks that lead to a steep drop to the bottom of the cliff. I knew that it's Brent, I recognized his license plate number."

Brett didn't move or speak, "I was so scared that I lied to my dad, saying he's dead. He was waving his hand at me, he needed help but instead, I walked away and told my dad about Brent's demise. You're right, I killed him. I felt nothing but guilt with a smidge of contentment. Knowing that Brent's passing will ruin you, I just know that it'll be the end of your dreams."

"We moved out to Austria to forget about that night. I almost couldn't sleep that year. I was so relieved to hear nice things coming from my dad. But the moment you came back after six years, everything also came back to me. The pain, the sorrow, the excruciating pinch coming from my childhood. I decided to come back in Brisbane. I was so ready to ruin you but as soon as I see you and Y/N, that's when I realized that it's also what I needed in my life."

I continued, "I never felt love. I always wanted to know what love feels like. The only time when I was feel loved was when I'm with you and your family. I grew older, more realizations started to hit me. When I was young, I thought my dad was forcing me to be good enough because he loves me; it turns out he's using me for fame, money and attention. He wanted me to be a violin virtuoso just because he failed to be one."

"The day that I saw you and Y/N at the street. I wasn't planning to kill you and Y/N or anything."

"Not planning to kill me? You almost killed Y/N, Eddy! Are you out of your mind?!"

"What they said is true. You really are reckless. If you didn't grab the gun from my hand, you could've not stayed inside the ICU for weeks, Brett. I was just there, telling you everything how I feel. I was so corrupted that I want to take my own life. It's so exhausting living like this." Brett's eyes widened.

"No, you must've lied—"

"You told me to be honest so what I said is pure honesty, Brett. I can't live like this, full of hatred, anger and guilt. It's so tiring and painful. But now I'm here, wearing an orange jumpsuit with handcuffs on my wrists." I shook my head.

Brett gulped and looked at me, "Listen, Eddy. I-I should've known better. I'm so sorry you went through this. I just can't believe you did these awful things just to ruin me. We could just talk it out a-and live peacefully. There's nothing we can do, it already happened."

I nodded in agreement as I wiped my tears away, "Thank you for being honest with me." I gave him a small smile as I cleared my throat, "You don't need to forgive me, Brett—" "Eddy, no. I know we're both hurting just by talking about these, thank you for being honest."

"I'm sorry for being the worst friend, Brett."

"It's okay. I forgive you. Despite the bad things that happened before, let's not forget that we also shared amazing memories together."

~~~

BRETT'S POV

I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do, until my heart
Is black and blue

The timer started beeping as I stood up, feeling a little relieved. "I'll see you soon, Eddy." I left the building and went home, thinking about the conversation I had with Eddy. It felt like a nightmare, to be honest. I'm glad he's being honest with me this time. I wish I talked to him more. This way I could've helped him.

I entered inside my home and saw my parents and Y/N cheering over the bubble teas they made out of scratch. "Brett! You're home." I immediately ran to my parents and Y/N, hugging them tightly. I started to cry, my tears were uncontrollable. "I love you all, with all my heart."

And I will stay
I will stay with you
We'll make it to the other side
Like lovers do

I panned to the portrait of my brother from the wall, I missed his smile, laugh and our dumb talks. I'm thankful for the universe, for giving me the greatest parents in the world. And I would like to thank the universe and of course, Brent, for sending me the person that would flip my life upside down; Y/N. She will always be the highlighter of my life.

"I want a bubble tea..." I whispered to them as they all chuckled together.

~~~

are you guys ready for the final chapter? the final chapter will be released tonight! i just wanna say thank you so much for your support, im publishing more twoset fanfics after this. i love you all and have a great new year!

~cara