Urokodaki: why are you smiling?
Sabito: what? Can't I just be happy?
Makomo: Tanjiro headbutt Sanemi
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At Shinobu's funeral
Giyuu: Can i please have a moment with her?...
Everyone: of course *they leave*
Giyuu: *leaning over Shinobu's coffin* listen here you little shit, i know you ain't dead.
Shinobu: Yeah, No shit.
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Couples therapy
S
hinobu: So what's the reason you get up every morning?
Giyuu: Sabito.
Shinobu: Aww
[Every morning]
Sabito: *banging on Giyuu's door* WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Giyuu: THIS IS WHY YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH
---------------------------------------------------------
Sabito: You remind me of saturn, but you're missing one thing...
Sabito: *Gets down on one knee* Will you marry me?
Giyuu: . . .
Giyuu: Are you calling me round?
---------------------------------------------------------
Giyuu: A mosquitoe tried to bite me, and i slapped it and killed it.
Giyuu: And i started thinking...
Giyuu: Like, It was just trying to get food
Giyuu: What if I went to the fridge and it just slamed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Giyuu: How would i feel?
Shinobu: ...
Shinobu: Time's up, please come again for therapy. Same time tomorrow of course.
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Gyomei: Small creatures are way more vicious because there's less room to contain their anger.
Uzui: That's ridiculous, name one example.
Shinobu: Wasps
Mitsuri: Spiders!
Sanemi: Terriers.
Giyuu: Obanai
Obanai: *kicks him*
Giyuu: see?
---------------------------------------------------------
Giyuu: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*
Shinobu: *recording* push harder!
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Inosuke: i haven't bathed since last year
Zenitsu: Haha, i get it
Inosuke: how's that funny? I haven't bathed in a year-
Sabito: *barging in with shinobu* IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BATH INOSUKE
Inosuke: AAAAAAARHHHHHHH
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Kidnapper: *Holds Giyuu hostage* give us $10,000 and we'll give him back!
Sabito: YOU THINK HE'S ONLY WORTH $10,000!??
Shinobu: *takes the microphone* MAKE IT 2 BILLION YOU PUSSIES!
Sanemi: *outside* SHUT THE FUCK UP
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Kagaya: i need you to be totally straight with me.
Giyuu: *looks at shinobu in gay*
Shinobu: *looks at mitsuri in bi*
Mitsuri: *looks at Rengoku in pan*
Rengoku: *looks at Sanemi in gay*
Sanemi: *looks at sabito in gay*
Sabito: *looks at giyuu's ass in gay*
Shinobu: Obanai and Uzui aren't here.
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Sabito: How's the most beautiful person in the world doing?
Giyuu: i don't know, a-
Shinobu: I'm doing great!
YOU ARE READING
Sabigiyuu ||oneshots||
FanfictionExtreme ooc Just a bunch of random things with top sabito and bottom giyuu :)) TAKING REQUESTS!! Btw, there may be side ships such as Uzui x Rengoku Obanai x Mitsuri Zenitsu x Tanjiro Genya x Muichiro Shinobu x Money(who don't love this ship?😔✨...
