A Cold Start - Anakin x Reader

up all night

TW: sexual harassment

What a day, I thought as I was lying in my bed.

It had always amazed me how much a day, or things in general, could change in a matter of hours, seconds really, even though one always feels- at least I do- to have the power to control what is happening around one. I guess as a jedi this feeling is even stronger, given that, to a degree, it is us who can make the difference, who interfere and sometimes can avert a disaster- in taking control over the situation.

But at least since the day I couldn't save my old master from death, I became more aware of how powerless you can sometimes be and that certain things happen that are beyond your control. Accepting that can become a long journey and at some point you realize that change really is the only constant in life.

Today was by far not as traumatic as the death of my former master, but it was still one of the scarier things I had experienced, I'd say.

A man, armed with various guns, had sexually harassed me in a corner of my favourite jazz club. My initial words of rejection weren't enough to stop him and from one moment to the other, he was already groping my thighs and holding my arms so that I couldn't move.

It all happened too fast and I guess as a jedi I should've known better to defend myself. But the threat wasn't big enough for me to use my lightsaber on him. I know that sounds ridiculous and people like Anakin don't think much of this principle- but you can't use a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Only if the man had started shooting at me with his weapons would the jedi code have allowed me to use my lightsaber to defend myself. The means of defence had to be reciprocal to the means of attack. At least this is what my old master lived by and passed on to me.

But then there was another, this time happier, unforseen turn of events, namely Anakin appearing out of nowhere and saving me from the man's touches and assaults.
Underlying this particular change of events was another peculiar development I definitely wouldn't have seen coming earlier this morning, after our awful discussion. It was Anakin's drastic character development.

While this morning he was still idiotic and overly critical as usual, this evening he showed a whole new side of himself. Suddenly he was protective of me, honestly worried about my well-being and he even lied to Obiwan about where we had been, when he would have had the perfect chance to give me away and get me in trouble for putting myself at risk.
But he didn't.

What was more, he even owned up to overreacting after the mission this morning, although I could tell that he was having a hard time articulating it.

I think he just generally had a big problem with the situation and how to handle it after he saved me- which went against all his previous principles of hating and not caring about me.
It was made all the more clear when he said that he wished none of this had happened in the first place so that we could have just 'picked up where we left off' before all this.

But I didn't think that was possible now. Despite his regrets and the fact that he thought he couldn't have a normal relationship to me as his padawan.

This bizarre statement of Anakin was what kept me up this night. I was still pretty shaken up about the assault on me alone and that, mixed with Anakin's words, made it impossible to sleep.

'If you need anything, when you're scared and can't sleep or whatever- you can knock on my door any time.'

Isn't that what he had said? Obviously, going along with his proposal was a ridiculous idea, absurd. Just wrong. But another part of me wanted to test Anakin. I was itching to know what he would do to soothe me. Read a fairytale to me? Get me a warm milk with honey?